Back-up Plans

I like working with a safety net. If things don't go as planned, I like to have a Plan A, B and/or C to fall back on.

When I worked full time, I lived in a world of paid holidays, sick time and I made a habit of career-longevity. I felt safe.

When I dared to start my daycare, I did so by first of all taking a year leave of absence from my job. A trial period. If I couldn't make a go of my daycare, I had a full-time job waiting for me.

When the year was up, I approached my work place about hiring me for 'Saturdays-only'. It was an arrangement that worked well for both me and my employer. I earned an income that paid my mortgage interest and I had the opportunity to apply for a full time job if one came available. I was safe.

I did that for 10 years. Eventually the six day work week wore me out.

I took another year leave of absence. A year to try out a new sideline of bookkeeping. I babysat by day and squeezed in my bookkeeping where ever I could. I went from working 6 days a week ... to sometimes working 7 days, plus evenings.

At the end of that last leave of absence, I had to make a decision. To go back to my Saturday-only employment?? Or not.

I chose 'not'. I went back to school and took a course to expand my bookkeeping horizons. I ran my daycare before and after school. I did bookkeeping evenings and weekends. My Youngest Son stated what was blatantly obvious to him: "You are always working now ..."

Then I finished school. I was ready, willing and able to work full-time for my current bookkeeping employer. They led me to believe that there was more than full-time work available, if I wanted it. I was working without a net ... but I had a plan. Or so I thought.

Since I finished school, nothing has gone as planned. Full-time work is not available with my current employer.

I found a second job. A job that was supposedly to be within the hours of 9 - 3, Monday to Friday. There was no schedule. I would be called in, as needed. I thought that was the answer to the instability of my bookkeeping job.

In my bookkeeping world, I strived to make the 40 hour work week become a reality. I took the initiative and kept hounding them for work. For a month. I felt like I had hassled them to the point of exasperation. So I have reigned myself back in. In doing so, I have become fearful. Fearful to make it known what I need to make this work for me.

My second job has become a 'jump-when-I-am-called' position. Only because I have allowed it. I was available and frustrated with my bookkeeping, so I let this on-call position rule my life. I have worked well beyond 3:00 (to the point where My Youngest is frustrated because I am 'never' home when he comes home from school). I have worked Saturdays. I have worked Sundays. I have allowed this to happen.

I am spinning my wheels. Like a car stuck on a patch of ice, I am expending a lot of futile energy and not making any headway. I'm not even making enough to pay the bills ...

I am not in control of my destiny right now. I have handed the reigns over and have just coasted. I was hopeful that things would find a way of working out, if I didn't go against the current.

Enough is enough! It is time to take a stand, make a plan and forge onwards.

I am presently working on a Plan C. Since Plan A (bookkeeping) and Plan B (casual work position) are not fueling my passions, I am going after something that is! I'm not certain that this will become a money making proposition ... but I am taking the necessary steps, with that as my end goal.

Taking the opportunity to learn is never a waste of time, energy or money. I have enrolled in a home study course ...

That ... is Step One, in a Five Step Program to create a Plan C. A plan ... a safety net that fuels my passion, energizes me and feels like it was what I should have been doing all along.