Word Soup

I tried to sit down to write a blog post yesterday and the words didn't come. The words "Breathe In ... Breathe Out" were all I could come up with. So I deleted it and continued to 'breathe' throughout the day.

Life as I knew it was waiting for me upon my arrival home on Sunday. There is nothing wrong with that, because my life is very good. But work issues that had come to the surface before I left were waiting for me the next morning.

Monday was a day of transition. I needed to be home and become grounded. I needed to feel in control of my destiny that day. So even though I was well aware that my boss wanted me to do my work at the shop, I packed it in and did it at home. When I was ready. I wasn't ready until 8:00 p.m. ... but I completed the task at hand (as well as a few of my own need-to-do chores).

Yesterday (Tuesday) morning was rough. I woke up with an overwhelming list of work issues at the tip of my consciousness. I sat down and wrote. As usual, putting words to the page (or computer screen) is therapy for me. I release the words, they come to life on the page and things become more manageable when the emotions behind the words are released.

I completely forgot that I had an appointment to donate blood at 8:00 a.m., so I raced out the door at 7:50 a.m. and left my 'words' at home (initially I had thought that I would print off the letter to my bosses and  hand it to them). As life threw me a curve ball that I should have been expecting, I quickly realized that those words needed time to breathe. 'Life' saved me from reacting too quickly.

I need to take time to take a breath before I react. Lately, I seem to go to sleep with issues on my mind. When I wake up the next morning, I feel ready to confront them head on. But I must realize that perhaps I should simply vent quietly and privately before I take the final step and put a voice to my thoughts. Yesterday, 'life' saved me from myself. The issues are still valid. But I need to delete the emotion from my letter-to-my-bosses.

As I tried to write about this (in the form of a blog post) yesterday afternoon, the words in my head started swirling around and I couldn't put them together coherently. This morning, I am putting together the 'word soup' that I started preparing yesterday. Hopefully it is more palatable after waiting a day.