Elusive

It's just out of my grasp. It flits by me and hovers close by ... but when I try to grasp it and hold onto it, it remains just out of my reach.

I long to wrap myself within the protective layers of my life and I don't want to peek my head out until I am transformed within. Something feels broken and I want to cocoon myself away from reality until it is mended.

I want to be alone; I need to be around people. I want to curl up into a ball until this passes; I need to get out and push my limits. I want to cry; I need to laugh. I want time off; I need to work.

This too, shall pass. I know this. But I am getting impatient. This has been going on too long.

There is only one person in the world that can make a difference. I look at her reflection in my mirror and I want to shake her out of this stupor.

Words are not enough. It is time to take action. Small steps are better than no steps at all.

“When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert