Hanging in the Balance

A little while ago, I wrote about my favorite place to be: "The Place Between Yes and No". May I add an addendum to that? My least favorite place to be is "Hanging in the Balance".

It is the place where you stick your neck out and ask, suggest or attempt to change your destiny. And the answer is "Nothing". Absolutely nothing.

Where do you go from there?

I asked the questions. I received the response "I'm very busy right now, but I will answer you later". That was over two weeks and two quiet reminders later.

I have submitted some resumes/applications to a few job positions that could enable me to continue to follow the path that I'm on. It is not surprising that I have heard nothing. But it is disappointing.

I even applied to be a volunteer for an upcoming event in our city. Even though my application was received on the last day of their deadline, would it be too difficult to set up an automatic reply that stated the positions were filled and thank me for my application? Or a 'thanks-but-no-thanks' response? Something? Anything??

As Easter Monday (a holiday for some, but not all) turned into a regular work-day-Tuesday, I thought that a few responses would roll in. That the phone would ring. That I would hear something. Tuesday has turned into Wednesday and I am still waiting.

I can accept that no response is the answer "No" from a position with a well-defined deadline. I wish that on-line applications were acknowledged with a response: "We have no openings at this time, but will keep your application on file." I know that resumes are accepted with the proviso, "Don't call us, we'll call you". I know that people are busy and return phone calls are not high on the urgency list. But people ... please give me something!

I may not find the answers that I am seeking, but "No" or "I cannot guarantee what the future holds" gives me something to work with.

Hanging in the balance is depleting me. I didn't have much to start with. I know that "no answer" really means that I must take the reins of my life and move forward. In some direction. In any direction. Standing still is really not an option (but if I got the answer I was hoping for, I could afford to idle just a while longer).

I am stuck out here in no-man's land. In a place where there are no answers. Only more questions.

The biggest question I face? "What now??"