An Empty Slate

An empty canvas. That is what my day was until a few minutes ago. What is empty one moment begins to fill up, the next.

When the phone didn't ring at 6:30 a.m. with a call to go to work, my mind started filling the day. How could I make the most of the day in front of me? I have wasted far too many days. How can I overcome that bad habit with summer holidays looming another set of unknown months ahead? Where do I begin? When does this end?

The phone rang at 6:45 a.m. and gave my day direction. I now think that I know where this day will begin. As long as the phone doesn't ring again and change that direction.

I have to work at my second job this weekend. I thought that they had given up on me when I was unavailable to work for three hours on Saturdays (while I was taking a course). But they called and scheduled me to work on both Saturday and Sunday. I wish that I felt overjoyed at this prospect. I am simply relieved that I haven't had to be available to work seven days a week any sooner than this.

I glimpse into the summer months and the slate is not empty. It is not full, but I must be available to work. My only hope? That this job will come with a schedule. I hope that this is not another case of jumping every time the phone rings with an unexpected twist to the day.

I need to relearn the skill of mapping out my days ... for days on end. I want to jump out of the bed in the morning with an eagerness to start the day and accomplish what I set out to do in the day.  I need purpose.

It is nice to wake up with a free day every now and again. A day where you can go with the wind and let it unfold the way it is meant to be. But it is better (for me) to wake up with an agenda. One that I know in advance.

I know there is a lesson to be learned here. It is good to have the ability to adapt and be flexible. I just need to have a Plan B in place for those days that begin with an empty slate.