Power of Suggestion

My horoscope for this week has resonated with me ever since I read it. It's not that I'm really all that hung up on astrology. My take on horoscopes are that they are so general that they could really apply to anyone. But every now and again, I read one that fits like a glove.

I have been well aware of the indirect route that I have been following towards my goals. I have recognized that I have learned many lessons that I needed to know. The key word in the horoscope that put a different spin on what I have been thinking all along is the word wanted. "... the winding path is a function of destiny's intent for you to learn more than you wanted to know ..."

I have learned a few things that I didn't enjoy learning. I recognized that they were still very good lessons for me and my Middle Son told me that he was glad that I learned that the ways of the world are not always kind, fair and full of happy endings. I became more empathetic to what others were going through after I experienced a few inequities first hand.

I have learned many other important lessons. Flexibility, the ability to think on my feet, adaptability, how to take constructive criticism ... I could go on and on.

I honestly thought that the lessons were over. I had accepted my fate, learned and was grateful for all that unfolded in the end. There is usually a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This is where my story typically ends. Not this time.

This time around, there isn't a happy ending in sight. This is not the lesson that I wanted. I am still striving towards my goal and I have no idea how long it will take to attain it. It may be around the corner. It may not. I must prepare myself for more rocky road if I want to keep travelling this path. Just when I think that maybe I am going against the natural flow of the way things are meant to be, a get a good dose of hope and it pushes me through another rough patch.

I have recycled and rehashed these same thoughts for the better part of the last ten months. But the phrase in my horoscope that really made me think was the last one. Destiny's intent has been for me to "... connect with people with whom you wouldn't have otherwise connected."

It made me think twice about an invitation issued by a co-worker and gave me the courage to invite another co-worker out for lunch.

Last night I went for coffee with someone I wouldn't have otherwise connected with, had it not been for this long and winding path towards my destiny. We talked like old friends and our time was up much sooner than either one of us was ready to see it end. Her parting words to me were "I think that we are going to be great friends!"

I have met many people that I would have never met this year, had life gone according to plan. I cannot help but think of the infinite ways that this could change my destiny. There is not one person that we encounter that does not affect us in some way. Big or small. The flip side of that phrase (that I rarely, if ever consider), is the difference I may (or may not) make in the lives that I touch.

One of the thought provoking questions in the movie "The Bucket List" is: "Has your life brought joy to others?" I was in a bit of a depressed state when I watched the movie (it lost its impact for me when I kept falling asleep and had to go back three more times to finally piece all of the movie together) and when I pondered that question, my answer was, "I think that my life used to bring joy to others ..." It is time to turn that phrase into the present tense.

I have had a 'needy' year. I have pulled my energy from outside sources. Though there are times when we need to lean a little and let ourselves accept a little help from our friends... there is danger in becoming dependent on that energy source. We need to be self sustaining as well.

I can feel my energy coming back to me. It has been gradually seeping its way back into my being in a way that feels like it is here to stay. It has been a bit of a roller coaster ride at times. It went from that, to being a little 'hilly'. Ups and downs ... but not too steep of an incline or a crash.

I grew up on the prairies. Long stretches of road as far as the eye can see is what I have become accustomed to. I'm ready steer my life back onto that familiar path.