The Five Love Languages

Oprah recently aired a show featuring Dr. Gary Chapman and his book/concept of "The Five Love Languages". I was eager to take the love language quiz but there must have been some technical glitch that prevented me from doing so.

Ever since I watched this show, I have been very conscious of the concept behind Dr. Chapman's book. He says that knowing and understanding the primary 'love language' of your partner or the people in your life can transform relationships.

The five languages are:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Without the ability to take the quiz, I was very conscious of what language I 'spoke' and needed as this week progressed. I tried to figure out the language of the children I babysit, friends and basically anyone whose path I crossed this week.

What I knew right off the bat are that words mean the world to me. But 'talk is cheap' and I have experiences where I have heard all of the right words without the corresponding actions ... so it is important to me, that the words are backed up in actions.

I also recognized that gifts are very unimportant to me. A card with a few thoughtful words means the world to me. A gift? I am not a good gift-giver, because physical gifts are inconsequential to me.

Physical touch? Our family is not a touchy/feely family. Or we never used to be. The vast majority of my siblings (and even my mom!) have consciously worked at this 'hugging thing'. I have thought (from time to time) that perhaps I should do this too. But it is not even an afterthought in my mind. Hug me with your words and actions and no touch is required. Though ... I do suppose that it is a language that I should become more fluent in, because of its increasing importance to those that touch my world.

Being conscious of the love language other people need and respond to, has heightened my awareness as to the how's and why's of various friendships/relationships in my life seem to thrive (or not). This is a good tool to keep in my 'book of tricks' as I weave my way through this life of mine.

There is a language that Dr. Chapman does not address that I have recognized that I need in my relationships. Humor. The ability to laugh in the face of adversity. The need to diffuse a hot topic with a light hearted comment. Laughter is a basic requirement in my relationships. I need it to sustain me through the good and the bad.

As I make my way through my days and weave other people into the patchwork quilt that is my life, the relationships that last will most certainly be seasoned with laughter.

Words + actions + humor = A language I speak and understand