High School is Just the Beginning

Grade 9 seems like a bit of a wake up call for young students. Mid term assignments, exams and large projects are all coming to a head at the same time. For those that are struggling I can only imagine how coping strategies must be either hitting a passing or failing grade.

I find myself marvelling at my Youngest Son's desire to give his school work his 'all' this year. Elementary was fairly easy for him and the blasé marks of 'Not Meeting Expectations'; 'Meeting Expectations'; or 'Exceeding Expectations' did not bring out his personal best. The percentage marks that they hand out in high school is something so much more tangible. It has him competing against himself to do the best of his abilities.

His Easter Break was overcast in looming exams and big projects due within a week of returning back to school. He was overwhelmed and somewhat dismayed at the expectations that have been thrown at them this year, "Why even give us a break when we are expected to do so much homework?!" was his lament.

So he puttered away at the-biggest-project-of-them-all (and the first one due upon his return to school) throughout his holiday. All the while, muttering about the expectations in this new world of high school.

He finished that project with a few waking hours to spare on the first-day-back-to-school. The remainder of the week has been consumed with the other projects that are due. Last night was the granddaddy of them all with two projects and three exams all due today.

I am so happy to see his self-induced efforts and expectations. I am not the driving force behind his performance. It is all internal. And truly ... can we as parents really force our children to do as well as we think that they can? Encouragement, rewards, bribes, threats and everything else is a version of placing our expectations on someone else's shoulders. The real world isn't like that. We aren't coddled and cajoled into meeting expectations within a job, a relationship, running a home or simply managing our own life.

I couldn't help but think of the many ways that I can be overwhelmed by deadlines and responsibilities in my own little life, as I was doling out advise as per the 'wisdom I have gained by being an adult'. I realized the many ways that I am lacking the motivation that my young son has at the age of 14 years.

Don't leave big jobs until the last minute. I need that 'last minute' motivation to get big jobs done. A job without a deadline (real or perceived) in my mind is a job that doesn't get done. I could learn from a page in my son's book. Whittle away at the big jobs is better advise. As overwhelming as they are (real or perceived), you get nothing done by doing nothing. A little bit on a daily basis goes a long way when it comes to the final stretch. When the bulk of the work is behind you, it leaves you with the energy to work out the details in the end.

If you get the smaller jobs out of your way, you have more time and energy to put towards the bigger ones. As I watched my son's energy fizzle out as the week progressed, I wondered if he had used up all of his ambition on the 'big project' and had run out of momentum. But last night, as he was in the home stretch, I could see the wisdom in the way he progressed through the week. He prioritized by due dates. A smart move. A person is more motivated when a deadline is looming. It is definitely helpful when you've been placing some energy towards the end goal for some time preceding said deadline. To have to start and finish a project under the gun may produce action. But the results may be less than you could have come up with, if you work slowly and steadily towards the finish line. The moral of the story between the race between the tortoise remains as true today as it did in the decade it was written.

Take advantage of every opportunity to learn as you go. The final exams in life are best written with instilled knowledge that is absorbed and utilized to its fullest capacity along the way. That which is crammed into your brain at the last moment is the first to go. Read, listen, utilize and absorb the world around you to your fullest capacity every day. Review the details before the exam date, but if the knowledge is instilled the details are easier to remember. As my son planned to study for his exams as he progressed throughout the day today, I couldn't help but think that his retained knowledge will get him through the day. Perhaps he could do better if he had studied harder. Then again, many of the projects that were due this week may have been exactly what he needed to digest some of the information he will need for his exams.

High school is only the beginning of a lifetime full of projects and long term expectations. Some come with deadlines. Others don't. We have the ability to hang onto some of those lessons we learn in high school. Perhaps it would be wise for me to take a page from my son's book ...

My only fear? This is only Grade 9. It is bound to get worse. What if he burns out before he graduates? Where do kids find the motivation to keep going, when the going gets tough, tougher and seems never ending. Already, my son is comparing work to school. School does not end at the end of the school day. It seeps into evenings, weekends and holidays. Work? It is starting to sound pretty good to him.

Yet ... with work, comes a life of extra curricular responsibilities and expectations. 'Homework' is just that. You come home from a full-time job to a home full of work to be done. It really doesn't end. It just changes.

High school is just the beginning...