Independence Encouraged Here

I am a great believer in providing children a safe, comfortable environment surrounded with opportunities to play, learn, adapt and grow within my daycare. Most of all, I try to encourage age-appropriate independence.

I have endeavored to collect toys that will grow with the kids and provide 'accidental learning' through play. I interject electronic gadgets into the mix but it isn't all about computer games. We watch some TV but I like to steer towards programs that teach values or lessons or learning.

I like to stand on the sidelines and guide them towards fair play and being kind verses sitting-on-the-floor and actually playing with the kids. This is how I have raised my own kids. I have two full-grown children and one semi-grown advanced teen as my testament that 'my way' is not a bad way to raise a child.

I am feeling a little challenged within my present-day-daycare situation. I take care of three children under the age of three. Two of these children have no other siblings and the third child has siblings that are about ten years older than her. Enter my part-time Kindergarten child who is the youngest child within his own family and all of his cousins on all sides of his family. I am surrounded by children who are a little bit used to the world revolving around them.

My three little ones, under the age of three are growing up together. They are interacting with each other within their days and life-at-daycare. It isn't 'all about them' here. They are part of a family. We have had some growing pains ... but I think we are headed in a good direction.

Enter my Kindergarten Guy. I was updating my daycare blog this morning and it wasn't until my fingers were telling the story of our day, that I realized that it didn't matter what I chose to do with our day ... Kindergarten Guy was not impressed.

He doesn't like daycare. He doesn't enjoy being around 'babies' (he isn't used to being the oldest). He doesn't enjoy walks. So I diverted our walk into 'Lunch at McDonald's'. I thought having a destination in mind would curb the complaining (walking to the mailbox a few blocks away was too far at first). And it worked. He didn't voice a negative word as we made our way down the city streets en route to our lunch destination.

But it was the 'adventure' that we could have had on our way home that makes me sit back and scratch my head.

We wandered through Petland. He held his nose and hated every moment of it. We were being shadowed by a store employee that gave off vibes of not trusting me to ensure my kids behaved in an animal-appropriate ways, so I was just as glad to get out of the store as my Kindergarten Guy was ...

We cut through the mall and I let the kids sit in the various coin operated 'rides' they have scattered throughout the mall. Kindergarten Guy didn't want to 'embarrass himself', so he trailed along his younger companion and went where he went ... but seemed determined not to have fun.

We stopped at a park that was on our shortcut back home. A dog scared Kindergarten Guy. He is afraid of animals. All animals (his fear is greatly exaggerated when he has an audience).

After that excitement, the boys stood atop of the play structure. The playground was not age appropriate for my little guy, but Kindergarten Guy simply stood there too.

At that point, there was little left to do than go home. And we did.

This little guy is not yet six years old but he makes being a 'child' look like very hard work. He plops himself down on the couch and has the look of "I'm here. It is now your job to impress me ..." about him. What will he remember when he looks back on being a child? Will he hear laughter in his memories? Will he remember using his imagination and creating his own fun? Or will it be all about the world around him creating the fun and enjoyment for him?

What is happening to our children? Are we taking away their creativity by filling every moment of every day with something to stimulate them so much that they are not learning the joy of using their imagination through plain old ordinary 'play'?

I am not climbing on a soap box here and saying what I think is right or justified or the only way. It is just what I am seeing through my own tunnel vision here within my little daycare world.

I will continue to do what I am doing. I will guide these children to play together and apart independently, fairly and within a safe, clean and comfortable environment. My goal is to do my part in creating 'good citizens' when they go out into this big, brave world. I strive to help them build their independent thinking skills. Because there is nothing more scary (to me) than sending a child out into the world without their own reasoning skills and 'free will' highly developed.

As I tell my 2-1/2 year old little guy each and every day:

• "Think"
• "Use your own brain"
• "Be a leader"
• "You can teach the little ones what you know"
• "You are the best little two-year-old that I know!"
• "Just be yourself" ...

He isn't absorbing what I am telling him right now, but I do hope that these words will someday start to become part of his own thinking skills. And most of all, I hope when he hears 'my voice' in  his head when he is all grown up, he will hear positive words.

I encourage independence here. Independent play. Independent thinking. Fair play and respecting others. These are good rules to follow no matter how old you get.