Creating a Fortress of Solitude

Why does it feel so easy to let go of good habits and so hard to return to what worked so well for years on end? I was thinking of my writing as I wrote this, but the minute I started this second sentence, I realized it was not the writing habit I gave up so easily. It was waking at 5:30 a.m., in order to ensure I had time to myself before the rest of the world woke up.

I remember savoring my early morning paper route for that very reason. As I walked my route, houses were dark, car traffic was minimal and the foot traffic was next to none. I remember breathing in the peace and quiet. I thought of those who were inside those dark houses, still fast asleep &/or just starting to stir as I finished my route. I saw the Northern Lights dancing in the sky, shooting stars and even the snow glistened and shone as the street lights reflected their shimmer and shine.

Early mornings are truly magical. The magic ends as soon as the rest of the world starts to enter that place of solitude. I truly miss those moments.

Instead, I have become very cat-like in my sleeping habits. 

I nod off to sleep very easily, I wake often and when morning comes I feel just like my little big black cat when he woke up this morning. He stood up, he did an on-the-spot cat stretch, walked in a semi-circle for exactly one step, then changed his mind and curled back up into a tiny little cat ball. Yep! That is exactly how I felt too. So we all enjoyed one last cat nap before we jumped out of bed and into the day.

I have another morning off today and I am without an agenda to push me into action. The cats and I took our time getting out of bed and now that we are all up, every little thing is distracting me from my new found desire to get back into the habit of writing.

I am torn between working on a Suduko puzzle, answering emails, buying tickets and unjamming the printer after buying said tickets. My attention span is very cat like. Every moving thing and little noise distracts me. I'm up and about, then down for the count. 

My brain is starting to fill with all the things I could be and should be doing but instead, I am making myself another cup of coffee. The morning is going to take care of itself and I will have very little to show for it. 

I need to bring back that-which-was-good in my life. I need to bring early morning solitude back into my days. A quiet place to start. Time to reflect. A chance to fill myself up before I go out into the world and spend my energy.

I have a sense of feeling "depleted" within me. I believe it stems from waking up at a time when the world starts beckoning to me. I need to create a "Fortress of Solitude" just like Superman. Those superpowers may have come from his deep seated knowledge that one must fulfil themselves with what they need before they can go out and save the world.

Superman and I have a lot in common that way...