Happy Birthday, Mom

I know birthdays were never really your "thing", right Mom? Mother's Day was your holiday. Your birthday? I don't think you really enjoyed bringing attention to your age. This one would have been another milestone. There could have been a party in your honor...

I'm so very grateful for all the gatherings, celebrations and reunions we had, when we did. Upon your request, your 65th birthday surprise was never to be repeated, so your 80th birthday reunion was done on your terms. It was a marvelous day. I recently leafed through those pictures...

Ten years ago and so many people who were in those pictures with you are gone. Whispers of memories of you, of them, of the day and all the collections of stories before, during and after your birthday "extravaganza" waft peacefully through my mind as I write these words.

Your clock is chiming 8:00 as I sit here with my second cup of coffee, writing to you. I can hear our good-night conversation in the hallway from all the times I slept over at your place. You would always suggest, "Shall we say 8:00?" as we set our wake up time for the next morning.

I thought of you when the clocks turned back in the fall. I smiled as I knew you would be pleased you did not have to endure another winter of daylight savings time. Last winter you said you went to bed on Saskatchewan time and woke up on Alberta time. You had "beat the system". Or you were simply tired? Either way, you endured.

Speaking of "endurance", I do believe we are (still) enduring the longest, coldest winter season in history (they do say it's been the coldest winter in 100 years). Our first snowfall was on November 3rd and here we are. It is April 4th and there are still snowbanks all around us. It's -16 degrees at the moment (feels like -23 with the wind). The wind has been so cold. The snow has been around so long.

It has been the longest, coldest winter I can remember.

I smiled and thought of you when the clocks moved forward this spring. I think of you and the many conversations we had about the lengthening of the days, even when it still felt like winter all around us ...

I spotted two rabbits yesterday and they were in no hurry to disappear from view. They frolicked and played together in the snow for a while, then each of them went their separate way and found something to nibble on, in their own separate patch of grass. The tips of their ears were dark and there were a few splotches of brown on their back. The rabbits appear ready, willing and able to usher in the spring weather.

Your mom must have been pleased to have a "spring baby" when you made your way into this world 90 years ago. Although things still appear dormant, there is a stirring of "things to come" underneath the snow banks. We will blink our eyes and soon enough our world will be restored to full technicolor once again.

That is exactly how I am feeling, as I type these words. I feel a stirring of life within me again. I lost it for a while. The long, cold winter has mirrored the way I have felt inside. The blanket of snow that has enveloped our world these past five months has insulated the world in this dormant state, much in the way I hunkered in close to home and "insulated" myself from the world outside these doors.

I think I'm starting to thaw. As I watched one of those rabbits rolling around in the snow, shedding some of its winter layer of white fur, I felt the desire to shed some of my protective coat as well.

It is spring. Whether it looks like it or not. New life is on the horizon. It is time to shed our winter coats, find a spot in the sun, look up and beyond the winter behind us. Things will look a whole lot different by Mother's Day. Your day.

I felt you and Dad all around me this past Easter weekend as I tended to your taxes. Easter was traditionally the weekend Dad chose to come home to get his taxes done. Easter became synonymous with "income tax time" and through no plan or design, it quite accidentally ended up being the day the accountant asked me to drop by and pick up your completed tax return. Life has come full circle.

The circle has brought us to your birthday. All of your children will be meeting up this weekend and I'm pretty certain your name will be brought up a time or two as we reminisce and reflect upon the life you and Dad gave us. Thank you for giving us "each other". We couldn't have done this any other way. We have leaned on, guided, supported, listened and shared so much together. Mom, I would be absolutely lost without "family". They have been like oxygen to me - necessary to support my existence.

Although I miss you, I wouldn't have wanted "last year" to go on any longer than it did for you. Thank you for staying with us for as long as you could. Thank you for everything, Mom. Don't stray too far from me, okay? I'm so grateful for all the memories I have to sustain me. I still feel you "have my back". Thanks for that, too.

Happy birthday, Mom ... wherever you may be.