I thought the post I was about to write felt familiar to my fingertips. I started writing, then searched my blog. Yes. Here it is again.
Life goes around and back and then comes back again. Here is the original post:
Whenever Mom came for a visit, we always lingered over our morning toast and coffee. It was a ritual that was as predictable as the sun coming up in the morning.
On more than one occasion, after I had left the kitchen and returned again, Mom asked, "Guess what I did while you were gone?" She had an expression that dared me to guess correctly so I played the game.
I wasn't able to come up with the answer so she would give me a clue: "You can't see it". As I said, I'm pretty certain we had this conversation before. Even at that, I didn't come up with the correct answer.
She would straighten up in her chair (even more, because her back was always straight and her posture was excellent) and wore the expression of a cat who just ate a canary and reply, "I emptied the crumb tray in your toaster". That tray was always full because Mom may have been the only person who emptied it.
Now? Whenever I empty the toaster's crumb tray, I hear Mom's voice: "Guess what I did while you were gone?"
And in a moment, Mom is right beside me, smiling over my shoulder again.
I love those little memories. They find me when I least expect them.
Here is this morning's picture:
Full circle. Thoughts, patterns, life events, history repeating itself. I'm not talking about toast crumbs any more. Life.
My youngest has decided to change their name. Yesterday, I pulled out their birth certificate which was a required part of the process. Some missing information, which was news to them, on their original birth certificate unknowingly aligned with their decision to also change their middle name.
A few days ago, we had a brief text conversation about the spelling of their new/old middle name (they have chosen to revert back to the middle name I had originally chosen when they were born) and the question was how to spell it.
"Would it be "Jordan" or "Jordon" or some other spelling?"
"I believe originally I spelled it Jordan. It is a nod to my dad if you spell it with an 'o'."
The decision to go back to their original middle name. The decision to acknowledge a version of my dad's name with the revised spelling came long before the missing information on their birth certificate aligning with the lack of support which has led to the decision to change their middle name.
Interesting.
On another note, we noticed "Mother's Place of Birth" on the birth certificate. It is the name of the town where I have just purchased a new house I hope to call home when I retire.
Full circle. Going back to the beginning with a fresh new perspective and starting all over again.
Funny what thoughts can come of emptying the toaster crumbs. I hear Mom's voice, "Guess what I did ..." How I wish I could sit down with some coffee and rye toast and ask her the same question after the quick decision to invest in a potential home to retire in. "Mom ... guess what I did!"
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