Fifteen hours of unemployment is the only storm I've had to face so far in my New Adventures of Career Swapping.
My day/job ended at 5:15 yesterday afternoon. I was hired before 8:30 this morning.
That was Phase One of (at least) a Two Phase plan.
Onward!!!!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Today ...
Today is the first day of the rest of my new life!!
After a week of second guessing myself, my decision, my future and my sanity ... I have arrived.
My last day of work was unceremonious, uncelebrated, uneventful and unworthy of much further conversation.
I did my absolute best to leave everything in as organized fashion as humanly possible. I left behind 16 pages of 'how-to' instructions and several 'cheat sheets' that I used throughout my work span. I tried to anticipate ways to make the next person's work a little easier.
I did as much as I could. I offered to help out during their transition - to help show a new person what I did or to help out with the monthly must-do items.
I tried. I truly and honestly tried. And I am done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came home to find that my Second Son and his entourage (his Girlfriend and their two dogs) had camping plans for the weekend.
I hovered around as they made their way out the door. I eventually made some supper. Then I started to clean.
It all started by sweeping the back door step. With the dogs gone for the weekend, I could sweep the straw (from their dog house) off the back step and sidewalk to prevent it from continually making its way into the house.
That is where I began.
I ended after the entire house felt fresh, clean, dusted, organized and ready to begin a new life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke this morning to a brand new world.
The house feels fresh and happy. My heart is full of anticipation. My stress levels are zero.
I have a job interview in one hour. It is not the-job-of-my-dreams. It is a job which could prove to be a most excellent way to transition into the life that I want to build.
I don't need, want or expect my expectations to be met immediately. I know that I have to walk the long walk, to get where I want to go. I plan to enjoy the scenery along the way. It is my hope that my destination simply becomes the arrival of new hopes and dreams.
Today ... is only the beginning.
After a week of second guessing myself, my decision, my future and my sanity ... I have arrived.
My last day of work was unceremonious, uncelebrated, uneventful and unworthy of much further conversation.
I did my absolute best to leave everything in as organized fashion as humanly possible. I left behind 16 pages of 'how-to' instructions and several 'cheat sheets' that I used throughout my work span. I tried to anticipate ways to make the next person's work a little easier.
I did as much as I could. I offered to help out during their transition - to help show a new person what I did or to help out with the monthly must-do items.
I tried. I truly and honestly tried. And I am done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came home to find that my Second Son and his entourage (his Girlfriend and their two dogs) had camping plans for the weekend.
I hovered around as they made their way out the door. I eventually made some supper. Then I started to clean.
It all started by sweeping the back door step. With the dogs gone for the weekend, I could sweep the straw (from their dog house) off the back step and sidewalk to prevent it from continually making its way into the house.
That is where I began.
I ended after the entire house felt fresh, clean, dusted, organized and ready to begin a new life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke this morning to a brand new world.
The house feels fresh and happy. My heart is full of anticipation. My stress levels are zero.
I have a job interview in one hour. It is not the-job-of-my-dreams. It is a job which could prove to be a most excellent way to transition into the life that I want to build.
I don't need, want or expect my expectations to be met immediately. I know that I have to walk the long walk, to get where I want to go. I plan to enjoy the scenery along the way. It is my hope that my destination simply becomes the arrival of new hopes and dreams.
Today ... is only the beginning.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friends in my Inbox
Life has gotten very, very quiet around here lately.
It is self induced. This much I know. I don't much like the thoughts that are swimming around in my head so I am hesitant to send off an email, pick up the phone or suggest getting together with people.
I am diligently keeping to my non-spending budget. There are numerous activities that have piqued my interest. But I keep telling myself "No!" This is cramping my style.
My Second Son and I have an easy rapport between us. Due to mutual stress levels that we are each facing in our own lives, the banter has declined to polite chit chat. We aren't chit chatters. We talk of stuff that is tangible and 'real'. It is very quiet within these walls at home without that sustaining conversation.
I didn't even have enough news to send my mom her weekly letter. I just about had to write a work of fiction so that I had something to send off by mid-week. She called last night due to the silence on this end. Neither of us had much new to report. So I suggested that we should go on an adventure together and create our own excitement. I think I heard a little bit of ''let me think on that for a bit'' in her voice.
What has been my saving grace?? Finding a friend in my Inbox first thing in the morning. I have had several emails scattered throughout the day/evening. But there is something unique about finding friendship greet me, as I greet the day. It has made the world of difference these past few mornings.
It has been a very long time since I've had a hard time getting up in the morning. I love mornings. I eagerly anticipate the day ahead and try to squeeze as much 'life' into the morning as I possibly can, before I must trudge off and face my responsibilities.
Not lately. I have (had) been utilizing that positive energy and directing it towards finding a new job. I needed to present the sunny side of myself towards my new life and goals. But my sunny side is overcast and gloomy these days. I am lost.
Then there are my friends.
I have a friend that is a cheer leader. She is full of energy and enthusiasm. She is contagious.
I 'found' my Anchorage friend awaiting me in my Inbox this morning. I was transported back in time to our recent visit.
I love that I can hear my friend's voices when they write. I can picture their expressions. I can see and hear the family members that they write of. I am not alone.
It really doesn't take much to make a person's day. Reach out and write/touch/call someone today. You'll never know what a difference you have made!
It is self induced. This much I know. I don't much like the thoughts that are swimming around in my head so I am hesitant to send off an email, pick up the phone or suggest getting together with people.
I am diligently keeping to my non-spending budget. There are numerous activities that have piqued my interest. But I keep telling myself "No!" This is cramping my style.
My Second Son and I have an easy rapport between us. Due to mutual stress levels that we are each facing in our own lives, the banter has declined to polite chit chat. We aren't chit chatters. We talk of stuff that is tangible and 'real'. It is very quiet within these walls at home without that sustaining conversation.
I didn't even have enough news to send my mom her weekly letter. I just about had to write a work of fiction so that I had something to send off by mid-week. She called last night due to the silence on this end. Neither of us had much new to report. So I suggested that we should go on an adventure together and create our own excitement. I think I heard a little bit of ''let me think on that for a bit'' in her voice.
What has been my saving grace?? Finding a friend in my Inbox first thing in the morning. I have had several emails scattered throughout the day/evening. But there is something unique about finding friendship greet me, as I greet the day. It has made the world of difference these past few mornings.
It has been a very long time since I've had a hard time getting up in the morning. I love mornings. I eagerly anticipate the day ahead and try to squeeze as much 'life' into the morning as I possibly can, before I must trudge off and face my responsibilities.
Not lately. I have (had) been utilizing that positive energy and directing it towards finding a new job. I needed to present the sunny side of myself towards my new life and goals. But my sunny side is overcast and gloomy these days. I am lost.
Then there are my friends.
I have a friend that is a cheer leader. She is full of energy and enthusiasm. She is contagious.
I 'found' my Anchorage friend awaiting me in my Inbox this morning. I was transported back in time to our recent visit.
I love that I can hear my friend's voices when they write. I can picture their expressions. I can see and hear the family members that they write of. I am not alone.
It really doesn't take much to make a person's day. Reach out and write/touch/call someone today. You'll never know what a difference you have made!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Life Lesson #32441
Words are not coming easily these days.
I believe that the negativity that I am working feverishly to stifle, is hampering the flow of words out of my fingertips.
"What have I done??" is the question of the hour.
I gave my employer two weeks notice. Despite the many reasons why I know that I must resign, I cannot help but feel that I have betrayed them.
They don't have time to take a few minutes to explain a job that they want for me to do. How in the world will someone walk in off of the street, and be able to survive in this atmosphere?
I honestly thought that my last week of employment would have involved showing someone else what I do. I have two days of work left. It hasn't happened yet.
I read somewhere, that when someone exits your life ... ask yourself what they have added to your life.
In some cases, the notepad would be all but empty. This is not the case with my employer.
When communication breaks down, you start a slide down a slippery slope. Even as a last ditch effort, I would fully appreciate sitting down and talking with these people. I feel that I could offer a perspective that may help. Heavens! I would even work on a part time basis for them, to help them through this transition. But they haven't talked to me. Not a word.
I honestly thought that my resignation would be an opportunity. Not an end.
This hasn't been a healthy situation for a while. But it started out as one. Working together, communication, flexibility and compromise could have saved what could have been a very good working relationship.
Hmmm ... I could be talking about one of my failed relationships.
It never ceases to amaze me, just how often life comes full circle. My own actions have come back to haunt me in more ways than one recently. I see, feel and admit my failings. I have been on the receiving end of what I have given others. It has not been pleasant.
This has been yet another one of life's lessons. The older I get, the more I realize that I have to learn. I will forever be a student in life. I am grateful for the lessons. I appreciate the perspective and opportunity to gain from whatever life tosses my way.
I just hope that I have learned these lessons well enough, so that I don't have to repeat this particular class!
I believe that the negativity that I am working feverishly to stifle, is hampering the flow of words out of my fingertips.
"What have I done??" is the question of the hour.
I gave my employer two weeks notice. Despite the many reasons why I know that I must resign, I cannot help but feel that I have betrayed them.
They don't have time to take a few minutes to explain a job that they want for me to do. How in the world will someone walk in off of the street, and be able to survive in this atmosphere?
I honestly thought that my last week of employment would have involved showing someone else what I do. I have two days of work left. It hasn't happened yet.
I read somewhere, that when someone exits your life ... ask yourself what they have added to your life.
In some cases, the notepad would be all but empty. This is not the case with my employer.
- They hired me at a time when I desperately needed the income.
- They were willing to take a chance on my inexperience and willingness to learn.
- They paid me very well from the onset, despite my lack of hands-on knowledge.
- I was rewarded with financial bonuses on several occasions.
- They trusted me.
- They allowed me the opportunity to work from my home.
When communication breaks down, you start a slide down a slippery slope. Even as a last ditch effort, I would fully appreciate sitting down and talking with these people. I feel that I could offer a perspective that may help. Heavens! I would even work on a part time basis for them, to help them through this transition. But they haven't talked to me. Not a word.
I honestly thought that my resignation would be an opportunity. Not an end.
This hasn't been a healthy situation for a while. But it started out as one. Working together, communication, flexibility and compromise could have saved what could have been a very good working relationship.
Hmmm ... I could be talking about one of my failed relationships.
It never ceases to amaze me, just how often life comes full circle. My own actions have come back to haunt me in more ways than one recently. I see, feel and admit my failings. I have been on the receiving end of what I have given others. It has not been pleasant.
This has been yet another one of life's lessons. The older I get, the more I realize that I have to learn. I will forever be a student in life. I am grateful for the lessons. I appreciate the perspective and opportunity to gain from whatever life tosses my way.
I just hope that I have learned these lessons well enough, so that I don't have to repeat this particular class!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
This May be a Good Time To ...
As I tread into a future of unknowns, it feels like control over my life is slipping out of my hands. The only certainty is that of my finances.
When my financial future is threatened, I stop spending. I have bought groceries on an as-needed basis only. Take-out restaurant adventures have been capped. Frivolous expenditures have consisted only of paper for the printer so that I can print out resumes as needed.
As I gazed into our deep freeze which is becoming emptier by the day, I thought "This may be a good time to defrost the freezer!"
As I perused the contents of the cupboards and found boxes of Kraft Dinner, I thought "This may be a good night to have KD and HD (hot dogs) for supper!" The squeal of delight as My Youngest found out what was on the supper menu felt like I had earned a 'Mother of the Day' award.
As I laundered My Youngest's bedding (Batman sheets and comforter) that is now at least 11 years old, I thought "This may be a good time to bring out sheets-and-duvet-cover-from-the-past (from when my Second Son was growing up) and revamp My Youngest's room!" A 'retro' face lift. It looks wonderful!
As My Youngest started clearing out some of the excess that has accumulated on his dressers over the course of the past year (or more), I thought "This may be a good time to give this room a bit of an overhaul". Some decluttering, some reorganizing and a little bit of elbow grease and it looks like a whole new room.
Amount spent on the above items? $ 000.00
The best things in life are free. I am about to embark on some of the best that life has to offer. Because 'free' is most definitely allowed on this new and improved budget.
This may be a good time to examine all that I already have in my life. And revel in it ...
When my financial future is threatened, I stop spending. I have bought groceries on an as-needed basis only. Take-out restaurant adventures have been capped. Frivolous expenditures have consisted only of paper for the printer so that I can print out resumes as needed.
As I gazed into our deep freeze which is becoming emptier by the day, I thought "This may be a good time to defrost the freezer!"
As I perused the contents of the cupboards and found boxes of Kraft Dinner, I thought "This may be a good night to have KD and HD (hot dogs) for supper!" The squeal of delight as My Youngest found out what was on the supper menu felt like I had earned a 'Mother of the Day' award.
As I laundered My Youngest's bedding (Batman sheets and comforter) that is now at least 11 years old, I thought "This may be a good time to bring out sheets-and-duvet-cover-from-the-past (from when my Second Son was growing up) and revamp My Youngest's room!" A 'retro' face lift. It looks wonderful!
As My Youngest started clearing out some of the excess that has accumulated on his dressers over the course of the past year (or more), I thought "This may be a good time to give this room a bit of an overhaul". Some decluttering, some reorganizing and a little bit of elbow grease and it looks like a whole new room.
Amount spent on the above items? $ 000.00
The best things in life are free. I am about to embark on some of the best that life has to offer. Because 'free' is most definitely allowed on this new and improved budget.
This may be a good time to examine all that I already have in my life. And revel in it ...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Walking Into the Storm
I receive a daily inspirational email from Mountain Wings. This morning's message spoke directly to me.
The author wrote about the "words he was hearing in his spirit". He followed where those words took him, even though it was illogical and (most) anyone else would have looked back on his ill fated experience and shook their head in dismay. From the outside, looking in ... it would appear that nothing good came of heeding his own inner spirit.
But the message that came through loud and clear to the writer was: "You have storms ahead but remember during the storms that I will be with you. I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."
Those were exactly the words that I needed to hear today.
Last week, I took a giant leap of faith.
I heeded the wisdom of my wise, all knowing inner voice and quit a job that is killing my spirit. I looked ahead and knew the path that I was meant to follow. I started forging my way.
I have been encouraged and I know without a doubt that this is 'my answer' ... but as of today, I am still free falling.
My last day of work is on Friday. I don't have a new job lined up. If I get the job that I have my hopes set on, there will not be a pay cheque for (possibly) two months.
The job that I have set my sights on will not pay my bills. I will need at least one more source of income.
I started making inquiries about that second job last week. I am hopeful (but not certain) that at least one of these opportunities will come come through for me (thus, I have sent out numerous other applications/resumes). I have been told that it could be mid-September before I hear from one employer ...
I am making it known that I am ready, willing and able to take on casual work. I have a one-day, biweekly job that sounds like a definite possibility. I have another potential opportunity to work (perhaps) once a week. I will continue to keep my eyes and ears open ...
The anxiety levels are starting to rise. But each day that I go into work and face the dynamics of that situation, I know that it was right to walk away from this job. My self esteem is plummeting and it is getting harder and harder to pump myself up to get myself through the rest of my life.
I cannot listen to my own thoughts lately.
I look at the family book-project that I am working on and I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I fear that I will never come close to achieving the goals that I have set out for myself.
I have gone back to the Group Fitness course that I am one step away from completing. I am reading about what is required to achieve this final hurdle. And I ask myself "What were you thinking???" ... when I thought that I could achieve this goal.
I am dying inside.
Then I read this issue of Mountain Wings. I know with absolute certainty, that the choices that I have made are right for me. I am convinced that I am on the right path. Solutions are not unfolding quickly ... but in the time that I must wait, my convictions are growing stronger.
This is where I am meant to be right now. Walking into a storm. I have not faced the eye of the hurricane yet. I hope that it doesn't get that bad. I do have the feeling that it could get worse before it gets better. But it will get better. Of this, I am certain.
The author wrote about the "words he was hearing in his spirit". He followed where those words took him, even though it was illogical and (most) anyone else would have looked back on his ill fated experience and shook their head in dismay. From the outside, looking in ... it would appear that nothing good came of heeding his own inner spirit.
But the message that came through loud and clear to the writer was: "You have storms ahead but remember during the storms that I will be with you. I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."
Those were exactly the words that I needed to hear today.
Last week, I took a giant leap of faith.
I heeded the wisdom of my wise, all knowing inner voice and quit a job that is killing my spirit. I looked ahead and knew the path that I was meant to follow. I started forging my way.
I have been encouraged and I know without a doubt that this is 'my answer' ... but as of today, I am still free falling.
My last day of work is on Friday. I don't have a new job lined up. If I get the job that I have my hopes set on, there will not be a pay cheque for (possibly) two months.
The job that I have set my sights on will not pay my bills. I will need at least one more source of income.
I started making inquiries about that second job last week. I am hopeful (but not certain) that at least one of these opportunities will come come through for me (thus, I have sent out numerous other applications/resumes). I have been told that it could be mid-September before I hear from one employer ...
I am making it known that I am ready, willing and able to take on casual work. I have a one-day, biweekly job that sounds like a definite possibility. I have another potential opportunity to work (perhaps) once a week. I will continue to keep my eyes and ears open ...
The anxiety levels are starting to rise. But each day that I go into work and face the dynamics of that situation, I know that it was right to walk away from this job. My self esteem is plummeting and it is getting harder and harder to pump myself up to get myself through the rest of my life.
I cannot listen to my own thoughts lately.
I look at the family book-project that I am working on and I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I fear that I will never come close to achieving the goals that I have set out for myself.
I have gone back to the Group Fitness course that I am one step away from completing. I am reading about what is required to achieve this final hurdle. And I ask myself "What were you thinking???" ... when I thought that I could achieve this goal.
I am dying inside.
Then I read this issue of Mountain Wings. I know with absolute certainty, that the choices that I have made are right for me. I am convinced that I am on the right path. Solutions are not unfolding quickly ... but in the time that I must wait, my convictions are growing stronger.
This is where I am meant to be right now. Walking into a storm. I have not faced the eye of the hurricane yet. I hope that it doesn't get that bad. I do have the feeling that it could get worse before it gets better. But it will get better. Of this, I am certain.
"I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."
Here is the Mountain Wings issue that I mentioned, recopied in full:
Master of The Storms
=============
"Ride your motorcycle today," were the words that I was hearing in my spirit. When God speaks, I do my best to heed the words.
I looked out of the window. It looked cloudy. It looked like rain and it didn't seem wise to ride my motorcycle.
I checked the weather report quickly on my computer. 80% chance of thunderstorms was the result. Not just rain - THUNDERSTORMS!
"Ride your motorcycle today," I heard again, this time clearer and more insistent. I've learned to listen to the voice even when it doesn't exactly agree with my logical sensibilities.
So I put my briefcase in the luggage box on the back, put on my helmet, cranked up and took off. As I left the subdivision it felt that the bike (a BMW RT1100) wasn't riding as smooth as normal. Was it just me or was the bike unbalanced?
A truck went by me and the driver blew the horn and yelled out the window, "You've got a flat tire on the back!"
I was halfway to the office. I stopped and looked at the back tire. I couldn't really get a good look at it while sitting on the bike but it wasn't completely flat, just flat enough to cause the bike to wobble slightly. So I slowly continued on to the office. I had not ridden the motorcycle in awhile so I figured the tire just lost air as the motorcycle was sitting.
I called my wife and asked her to drop off the portable air pump I keep in her van on her way to pick up the kids.
Then the rain came. It poured down. I looked out of my office window at the bike being drenched in the parking lot and thought that it needed a good washing anyway.
By closing time the rain had stopped and my wife had left the air pump on the bike seat. I pumped up the tire. As I turned the pump off I heard a slight hissing. I looked closely and saw that the tire had a nail or screw in it. It was a slow leak. I figured that I could make it home and patch it later so I cranked up and drove off. The sky looked dark and ominous.
Then the bottom fell out.
In 30 seconds I was absolutely drenched. I'm on 42 (Do42.com) so that meant no complaining about anything.
It was refreshing I thought and at least since I was thoroughly drenched, I absolutely couldn't get any wetter. I slowly drove along as thunder rattled my helmet. Lightning flashed every few seconds. It was as if I was in the maelstrom of angry winds, electricity and water.
The rain was so heavy that I could barely see. I was expecting lightning to strike around me at any moment because the thunder was a constant crack and rumble.
In the midst of all of that seeming mess, I heard Him speak, "You have storms ahead but remember during the storms that I will be with you. I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."
With a tire oozing air, a waterfall of water pouring over me, lightning flashing like police lights and thunder booming like canon fire, I rode on. I was aware of it all but completely at peace and unafraid. Oddly enough, I was quite comfortable.
I walked into the house dripping a steady stream of water.
"Look at you!" my wife and kids exclaimed.
"It was a magnificent ride," I said.
It was.
You have storms ahead but always remember those words spoken in
the midst of the storm.
"I am the master of the storms, have no fear for I am with you."
~A MountainWings Original~ from MountainWings.com
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Not Even Up To My Ankles
I spent the better part of yesterday working with my dad's family story.
I started collecting memories in December, 2008. I have travelled to visit my uncle in Ontario. I have driven down prairie roads and into the 'hills' to talk to various family members and neighbors. I have collected an assortment of information from a few of my aunts and my mom. I've sent email requests for memories.
And I have succeeded.
I have a myriad of conversations that I have transcribed into written form. I have a mish mash of arsenal in my possession to begin to create a book full of memories and stories.
All I have to do ... is put it all together.
Yesterday, I began the process of amalgamating this data into one document (instead of 15 ... plus notebooks full of transcribed conversations), insert appropriate photographs and cull through the tickle trunk full of memorabilia that has slowly amassed over the course of my research.
As I waded through my computer and box full of family memories, I heard the voices of the people that told those stories. I am so grateful that there is such a wide array of viewpoints.
This will be a story told by many. A book full of memories of 'Life as They Knew It'.
I started collecting memories in December, 2008. I have travelled to visit my uncle in Ontario. I have driven down prairie roads and into the 'hills' to talk to various family members and neighbors. I have collected an assortment of information from a few of my aunts and my mom. I've sent email requests for memories.
And I have succeeded.
I have a myriad of conversations that I have transcribed into written form. I have a mish mash of arsenal in my possession to begin to create a book full of memories and stories.
All I have to do ... is put it all together.
Yesterday, I began the process of amalgamating this data into one document (instead of 15 ... plus notebooks full of transcribed conversations), insert appropriate photographs and cull through the tickle trunk full of memorabilia that has slowly amassed over the course of my research.
As I waded through my computer and box full of family memories, I heard the voices of the people that told those stories. I am so grateful that there is such a wide array of viewpoints.
This will be a story told by many. A book full of memories of 'Life as They Knew It'.
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