Walking Into the Storm

I receive a daily inspirational email from Mountain Wings. This morning's message spoke directly to me.

The author wrote about the "words he was hearing in his spirit". He followed where those words took him, even though it was illogical and (most) anyone else would have looked back on his ill fated experience and shook their head in dismay. From the outside, looking in ... it would appear that nothing good came of heeding his own inner spirit.

But the message that came through loud and clear to the writer was:  "You have storms ahead but remember during the storms that I will be with you. I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."

Those were exactly the words that I needed to hear today.

Last week, I took a giant leap of faith.

I heeded the wisdom of my wise, all knowing inner voice and quit a job that is killing my spirit. I looked ahead and knew the path that I was meant to follow. I started forging my way.

I have been encouraged and I know without a doubt that this is 'my answer' ... but as of today, I am still free falling.

My last day of work is on Friday. I don't have a new job lined up. If I get the job that I have my hopes set on, there will not be a pay cheque for (possibly) two months.

The job that I have set my sights on will not pay my bills. I will need at least one more source of income.

I started making inquiries about that second job last week. I am hopeful (but not certain) that at least one of these opportunities will come come through for me (thus, I have sent out numerous other applications/resumes). I have been told that it could be mid-September before I hear from one employer ...

I am making it known that I am ready, willing and able to take on casual work. I have a one-day, biweekly job that sounds like a definite possibility. I have another potential opportunity to work (perhaps) once a week. I will continue to keep my eyes and ears open ...

The anxiety levels are starting to rise. But each day that I go into work and face the dynamics of that situation, I know that it was right to walk away from this job. My self esteem is plummeting and it is getting harder and harder to pump myself up to get myself through the rest of my life.

I cannot listen to my own thoughts lately.

I look at the family book-project that I am working on and I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I fear that I will never come close to achieving the goals that I have set out for myself.

I have gone back to the Group Fitness course that I am one step away from completing. I am reading about what is required to achieve this final hurdle. And I ask myself "What were you thinking???" ... when I thought that I could achieve this goal.

I am dying inside.

Then I read this issue of Mountain Wings. I know with absolute certainty, that the choices that I have made are right for me. I am convinced that I am on the right path. Solutions are not unfolding quickly ... but in the time that I must wait, my convictions are growing stronger.

This is where I am meant to be right now. Walking into a storm. I have not faced the eye of the hurricane yet. I hope that it doesn't get that bad. I do have the feeling that it could get worse before it gets better. But it will get better. Of this, I am certain.

"I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."

Here is the Mountain Wings issue that I mentioned, recopied in full:

Master of The Storms

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"Ride your motorcycle today," were the words that I was hearing in my spirit. When God speaks, I do my best to heed the words.

I looked out of the window. It looked cloudy. It looked like rain and it didn't seem wise to ride my motorcycle.

I checked the weather report quickly on my computer. 80% chance of thunderstorms was the result. Not just rain - THUNDERSTORMS!

"Ride your motorcycle today," I heard again, this time clearer and more insistent. I've learned to listen to the voice even when it doesn't exactly agree with my logical sensibilities.

So I put my briefcase in the luggage box on the back, put on my helmet, cranked up and took off. As I left the subdivision it felt that the bike (a BMW RT1100) wasn't riding as smooth as normal. Was it just me or was the bike unbalanced?

A truck went by me and the driver blew the horn and yelled out the window, "You've got a flat tire on the back!"

I was halfway to the office. I stopped and looked at the back tire. I couldn't really get a good look at it while sitting on the bike but it wasn't completely flat, just flat enough to cause the bike to wobble slightly. So I slowly continued on to the office. I had not ridden the motorcycle in awhile so I figured the tire just lost air as the motorcycle was sitting.

I called my wife and asked her to drop off the portable air pump I keep in her van on her way to pick up the kids.

Then the rain came. It poured down. I looked out of my office window at the bike being drenched in the parking lot and thought that it needed a good washing anyway.

By closing time the rain had stopped and my wife had left the air pump on the bike seat. I pumped up the tire. As I turned the pump off I heard a slight hissing. I looked closely and saw that the tire had a nail or screw in it. It was a slow leak. I figured that I could make it home and patch it later so I cranked up and drove off. The sky looked dark and ominous.

Then the bottom fell out.

In 30 seconds I was absolutely drenched. I'm on 42 (Do42.com) so that meant no complaining about anything.

It was refreshing I thought and at least since I was thoroughly drenched, I absolutely couldn't get any wetter. I slowly drove along as thunder rattled my helmet. Lightning flashed every few seconds. It was as if I was in the maelstrom of angry winds, electricity and water.

The rain was so heavy that I could barely see. I was expecting lightning to strike around me at any moment because the thunder was a constant crack and rumble.

In the midst of all of that seeming mess, I heard Him speak, "You have storms ahead but remember during the storms that I will be with you. I am the master of the storms and I am sending you into them, have no fear for I am with you."

With a tire oozing air, a waterfall of water pouring over me, lightning flashing like police lights and thunder booming like canon fire, I rode on. I was aware of it all but completely at peace and unafraid. Oddly enough, I was quite comfortable.

I walked into the house dripping a steady stream of water.

"Look at you!" my wife and kids exclaimed.

"It was a magnificent ride," I said.

It was.

You have storms ahead but always remember those words spoken in

the midst of the storm.

"I am the master of the storms, have no fear for I am with you."

~A MountainWings Original~ from MountainWings.com