Transition

I don't even have a blog title in mind this morning. My head is swirling with thoughts. Mostly on transition. It is exhausting.

Last night, I fell asleep at the kitchen table while doing a crossword puzzle. I took one look at the couch and knew that was where I belonged. Three hours later, I woke up.

A three hour nap in the evening does not hamper my ability to sleep the rest of the night. After I awoke at 9:30 p.m., I wasn't even able to stay awake to watch the remainder of 'You've Got Mail' which was on TV last night (a movie that I know that I would enjoy, but I have never had the ability to remain conscious long enough to watch all of it).

I woke up this morning before my alarm. Today will be the day that I can function on all cylinders. All day long.

Waves of exhaustion keep trying to overtake me. I stayed awake throughout our reunion weekends. I managed to push through the exhaustion when I was at work. I have had enough to do after supper to keep me awake and moving. But last night? All bets were off. I slept. And it was good.

I wake up in the morning, knowing that I must use my early morning energy towards creating change in my life. I look at the options and am reminded of what I presently have. I could easily talk myself into staying in 'this place'. But the anxiety that I feel on a regular basis keeps me moving forward. Is there a way that I could modify my present situation into a workable one?

Solutions are not leaping out in front of me. I find myself searching for a suitable answer. The state of transition is not a place that I enjoy. It exhausts me.

Change is not easy. But sometimes, it is necessary.