I Should Have Danced All Night

I could have went to a group dance class last night. But I didn't. Why????

• I didn't feel like getting prettied up.
• The couch looked too good
• I was afraid that I may have to 'lead'
• I didn't feel ... myself

I've lost a little bit of my 'happy' lately. The lack of dancing is a contributing factor - not because it is the only thing that makes me happy. But it is a big part of what brings contentment to my life.

The social contact, the music, moving and dancing. The easy camaraderie, the casual friendships. The dance studio is my 'Cheers' - it is the place where everybody knows my name.

I have been consumed with my financial situation lately. Quitting my job has most definitely not been the wisest choice for my financial peace of mind. Originally, my plan was to quit dancing for the summer. As I look into my crystal ball, I do not see dance lessons in my future.

Part of me is mourning. Another part is cheering me on, telling me "you have to find a way!!" There is yet another part of me that is reality-based and knows that I must cut back on spending. Dancing is a luxury item. It did not make it to the bills-which-must-be-paid-list.

This morning, I am kicking myself for not forcing myself out of the house last night. I needed to go to that 'happy place' and revitalize my sense of well being.

Part of me did not want to bring the 'me-that-I-am-right-now' into the dance studio. I want to have my feet firmly planted on the ground and know where I'm going, before I walk back into the world that brings me such joy. I didn't want to bring my cloud with me.

I'm still free-falling from that plane that I jumped out of on Monday. I haven't had the opportunity to open my parachute yet.

I should have taken a chance and danced ...