Sometimes we see it coming. Other times we don't. There are times we think we know what to expect but life throws us a curve we weren't expecting. Usually? It is 'all of the above'.
Change.
Personally, I love my ruts. I have learned from experience that ruts aren't good for me in the long run. Even though I pretty much despise the concept of change, I've learned that change is good.
There for a while I got a little addicted to shaking up my world. When things began to feel to stagnant, I seemed to find some aspect of my life to change up a bit. It worked very well me for a while. Until it didn't. Then I went running for safety and I have been hanging out there ever since.
I love my little life. My life where my work comes to me each and every week day morning and leaves around supper time each and every week day evening. It is a relatively predictable life. Considering I run a daycare from my home, it has become unbelievably predictable. There have been few shake-ups in my daycare world since its re-inception last fall.
But times, they are a-changin'.
Everything has been running on schedule. People come (for the most part) when they tell me they are going to come. People leave (mostly) when I expect them to go. I am given notice (almost always) when schedules change. And (drum roll please) ... I get paid. The same amount each month. No matter what. It is a little bit awesome. Stability like this in the daycare world is rare. I cannot believe my good fortune.
I knew things were going to change. No surprise. I have a new one-year-old starting in November. One of my two-year-olds will be on maternity leave in December. Another new one-year-old to begin in January. I was going to transition from three children ... to four. Slow and easy.
Then the phone rang.
A dad was desperately seeking daycare. The family came to meet me Monday night. They started Tuesday morning. I am not located in a convenient location for them. But at the end of yesterday he said, "As long as she's happy, it doesn't matter".
This new little four-year-old girl is going to teach me many things. I can feel it.
Last night, at 9:59 p.m., I thought I knew what to expect of my day today. At 10:00 p.m., I received a text. My three-year-old who was not due to be back until Monday or Tuesday? He would be here bright and early this morning. When they arrived this morning, I received more news. They will be moving to Winnipeg December 1st. He will be done here at the end of November ...
How did our little four-year-old girl find us before I knew how much we needed her? She came into our home and it was like have been waiting for her all along. The toy room that was filled with a play kitchen and doll-tending area drew her into our world like I created this play space just for her.
I wasn't sure what I was doing when I said 'Yes' to this new family. I was afraid I had taken on too much. I cringed (just a little bit) wondering how I'd manage with all of the change in the air.
I didn't know how this would all work out in the end. But somehow I knew that it would. There wasn't a doubt in my mind.
Change. It isn't easy. But it is necessary. Go with the flow of changes within your world. Sit and wait. And you will see how well things manage to work out in the end.
"It all works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out ... it is not yet the end." ~ my favorite quote of the year from "The Exotic Marigold Hotel"
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
The Tapestry That is Our Life
I have been so very blessed to feel Dad's presence within my life even though he died almost twenty six years ago.
My marriage had deteriorated beyond repair and I had just left my husband when Dad died. I had no idea where I was going and how I was going to get there. Looking back, I simply surrendered to my reality and followed the path that opened up before me. I was guided away from a life that was killing me softly. I moved away and rebuilt a new life. It was so easy. I moved five hours away from everything I knew but I simply knew that this was where I needed to go. I rarely put words to it in those days but I felt Dad all around me. I was not alone.
I couldn't help but wonder if Dad was looking down upon me when I met 'the man of my dreams' a few years later. This man's parents had died before we met. Something clicked when we sat down and talked. Our friendship caught fire and our lives intertwined in ways that ensured we will always be connected. I often wondered if my dad and his parents smiled down upon our relationship.
I met up with a childhood friend at our home town reunion. We hadn't seen each other for almost thirty years but the moment we sat down together our friendship sparked and we never lost touch again. Once again, as we sat down and talked and followed the path that this new/old friendship would take us, I wondered if her parents and my dad were instrumental in guiding our friendship. I have felt their presence so strongly at times ...
I feel a very strong connection to my bookkeeping boss and her family. Our lives have intertwined in ways that amaze and astound me and I can't help but wonder if some how, some way her late husband and my dad have watched over this friendship and helped us weave and intertwine our lives.
A very close friend of mine lost her parents last year. I knew her mom better than I knew her dad so I 'feel' her mom guiding me to my friend at times. We sat down together and I spoke my thoughts aloud to her. I said, "I wonder ... do you feel it too?"
While collecting memories to compile for my parent's family's stories I was enveloped in a warmth that defied words. At the time, I didn't stop to think about it but now that I think about it I truly believe that I have not been alone as I compiled their stories. I quite literally feel embraced by more than just the memories ...
I could go on and on about the friendships that I have, that have felt 'heaven sent'. The times that I have felt a sensation that is hard to put into words. A feeling that in my darkest hours, I have never been alone. I believe that is one of the reasons I crave quiet in and around my life. When life gets too 'noisy' I don't feel as much as I like to feel.
It was after listening to Anita Moorjani's talk on YouTube that I had the courage to believe what I had hoped to be true. If I hadn't felt all that I have felt before I heard her speak, I may have been sceptical about what she said. What she said validated what I had sensed all along. I am so comforted that her experience coincides with my thoughts.
Anita says that we are but one thread in the tapestry of our lives. Every person we meet touches us in some way. It becomes part of the overall picture that is our life. We are where we are meant to be right now.
No matter where you are. You are where you are meant to be. And if you feel like you are 'not alone' in this world. Believe. Maybe ... just maybe you are not.
My marriage had deteriorated beyond repair and I had just left my husband when Dad died. I had no idea where I was going and how I was going to get there. Looking back, I simply surrendered to my reality and followed the path that opened up before me. I was guided away from a life that was killing me softly. I moved away and rebuilt a new life. It was so easy. I moved five hours away from everything I knew but I simply knew that this was where I needed to go. I rarely put words to it in those days but I felt Dad all around me. I was not alone.
I couldn't help but wonder if Dad was looking down upon me when I met 'the man of my dreams' a few years later. This man's parents had died before we met. Something clicked when we sat down and talked. Our friendship caught fire and our lives intertwined in ways that ensured we will always be connected. I often wondered if my dad and his parents smiled down upon our relationship.
I met up with a childhood friend at our home town reunion. We hadn't seen each other for almost thirty years but the moment we sat down together our friendship sparked and we never lost touch again. Once again, as we sat down and talked and followed the path that this new/old friendship would take us, I wondered if her parents and my dad were instrumental in guiding our friendship. I have felt their presence so strongly at times ...
I feel a very strong connection to my bookkeeping boss and her family. Our lives have intertwined in ways that amaze and astound me and I can't help but wonder if some how, some way her late husband and my dad have watched over this friendship and helped us weave and intertwine our lives.
A very close friend of mine lost her parents last year. I knew her mom better than I knew her dad so I 'feel' her mom guiding me to my friend at times. We sat down together and I spoke my thoughts aloud to her. I said, "I wonder ... do you feel it too?"
While collecting memories to compile for my parent's family's stories I was enveloped in a warmth that defied words. At the time, I didn't stop to think about it but now that I think about it I truly believe that I have not been alone as I compiled their stories. I quite literally feel embraced by more than just the memories ...
I could go on and on about the friendships that I have, that have felt 'heaven sent'. The times that I have felt a sensation that is hard to put into words. A feeling that in my darkest hours, I have never been alone. I believe that is one of the reasons I crave quiet in and around my life. When life gets too 'noisy' I don't feel as much as I like to feel.
It was after listening to Anita Moorjani's talk on YouTube that I had the courage to believe what I had hoped to be true. If I hadn't felt all that I have felt before I heard her speak, I may have been sceptical about what she said. What she said validated what I had sensed all along. I am so comforted that her experience coincides with my thoughts.
Anita says that we are but one thread in the tapestry of our lives. Every person we meet touches us in some way. It becomes part of the overall picture that is our life. We are where we are meant to be right now.
No matter where you are. You are where you are meant to be. And if you feel like you are 'not alone' in this world. Believe. Maybe ... just maybe you are not.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun
A person attracts a lot of attention when you have two children in a double stroller. A lady came up to me and knowingly said, "Double the trouble ... double the pleasure" and I wholeheartedly agreed with her.
Watching the two little one-year-old girls (in my daycare) interact with each other this past week has been a delight. Except when it has not. Kids can be so nasty. I think that (sometimes) they do what they do just to make the other guy cry. But then they turn around a minute later and natter away with each other like two little ladies, with their conversation generously seasoned with "Thank you", "Excuse me", "You're welcome". Definitely double the pleasure.
Our double cat scenario is another case in point. I have never, ever ... in my entire life of 'parenting' cats ... ever gotten to know my vet and her supporting staff so well. Double the vet bills, double the worries. On the other hand, we sit down and enjoy their antics for undetermined stretches of time on a daily basis. These cats bring our family together, entertain & amuse us and are most definitely a part of our family unit. They are truly double the fun.
Then there is the issue of my dual car status at the moment. I have never, ever had a dilemma like this before. I have two very reliable, low mileage cars in great condition. I laugh to myself as I decide which car to use. One has frost on the windows? I'll take the one in the garage. Grabbed the wrong set of keys? Oh well, I'll go where ever my keys guide me. Screw in the tire of one? I'll take the other. This is where the fun ended. I took the other car and the 'check oil' light lit up. I checked the oil. It was low. And dirty. And it was time for an oil change. Where was my other car? Oh ya, it had a screw in the tire. Suddenly my big joke of taking 'the other car' blew up in my face. I need a road-worthy vehicle for an out-of-town trip next weekend. And I have two cars in need of some TLC. Suddenly these vehicles were double the trouble.
Last but not least is my dual (or is it triple?) employment status. Daycare provider by day; bookkeeper by weekend; writer whenever I can fit it into my brain space. I have become very conditioned to want my work responsibilities to fall between the days of Monday to Friday. I realize how fortunate that I am to have an opportunity land at my feet where I can gain bookkeeping/accounting experience after hours. This experience could prove to be very valuable one day (not to mention the fact that I actually get paid to do this). But it is not easy. A decade ago, I managed my responsibilities a little more efficiently. My juggling skills are getting rusty. Even though double the employers can (not quite) double the income ... the price feels too high to pay. Double the work? Takes 'double' the time.
Then there are my friends and family. They equalize all that life deals out. As long as 'all of the above' is balanced with a good dose of all that sustains me, there is energy and an ability to cope with whatever comes my way.
Watching the two little one-year-old girls (in my daycare) interact with each other this past week has been a delight. Except when it has not. Kids can be so nasty. I think that (sometimes) they do what they do just to make the other guy cry. But then they turn around a minute later and natter away with each other like two little ladies, with their conversation generously seasoned with "Thank you", "Excuse me", "You're welcome". Definitely double the pleasure.
Our double cat scenario is another case in point. I have never, ever ... in my entire life of 'parenting' cats ... ever gotten to know my vet and her supporting staff so well. Double the vet bills, double the worries. On the other hand, we sit down and enjoy their antics for undetermined stretches of time on a daily basis. These cats bring our family together, entertain & amuse us and are most definitely a part of our family unit. They are truly double the fun.
Then there is the issue of my dual car status at the moment. I have never, ever had a dilemma like this before. I have two very reliable, low mileage cars in great condition. I laugh to myself as I decide which car to use. One has frost on the windows? I'll take the one in the garage. Grabbed the wrong set of keys? Oh well, I'll go where ever my keys guide me. Screw in the tire of one? I'll take the other. This is where the fun ended. I took the other car and the 'check oil' light lit up. I checked the oil. It was low. And dirty. And it was time for an oil change. Where was my other car? Oh ya, it had a screw in the tire. Suddenly my big joke of taking 'the other car' blew up in my face. I need a road-worthy vehicle for an out-of-town trip next weekend. And I have two cars in need of some TLC. Suddenly these vehicles were double the trouble.
Last but not least is my dual (or is it triple?) employment status. Daycare provider by day; bookkeeper by weekend; writer whenever I can fit it into my brain space. I have become very conditioned to want my work responsibilities to fall between the days of Monday to Friday. I realize how fortunate that I am to have an opportunity land at my feet where I can gain bookkeeping/accounting experience after hours. This experience could prove to be very valuable one day (not to mention the fact that I actually get paid to do this). But it is not easy. A decade ago, I managed my responsibilities a little more efficiently. My juggling skills are getting rusty. Even though double the employers can (not quite) double the income ... the price feels too high to pay. Double the work? Takes 'double' the time.
Then there are my friends and family. They equalize all that life deals out. As long as 'all of the above' is balanced with a good dose of all that sustains me, there is energy and an ability to cope with whatever comes my way.
"Shared joy is a double joy shared sorrow is half a sorrow."
~ Swedish proverb
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Our Children Are Hurting ...
I barely walked the edge of that teetering line when My Oldest was a teen. Life was very tense, I felt like I was reliving my marriage and I no longer saw My Son for who he was. He had to move out before we could move on and (much later) resume a healthy mother/son relationship.
They were tough years. I wouldn't want to relive them but I did learn lessons along the way that would make the same scenario easier to deal with a second time around.
I have a small dose of understanding for what I am hearing from family and friends as their dependants wade through the dark and murky waters of adolescence.
Growing up is hard. It is hard when life all around you is easy. You don't know who you are and have no idea who you will become. Your measuring stick is the world around you, how you perceive it and how you feel treated within that world. Add hormones and self esteem issues and it is one hot mess.
Add mental health issues into the mix and the entire scenario changes. It is like walking through a mine field. You never know what the next step will bring.
It is happening all around me. Parents and guardians walking on eggshells because they have a child that is at risk.
I have no answers. All I know is to seek out the professionals, take whatever advise that fits and 'grab your oxygen mask'...
An Alanon adage that replays in my mind when life gets too hard is: "Let Go and Let God".
We are mere mortals in this world. We cannot fix everything that is broken. Sometimes to surrender, is to hand the hard stuff over to The Powers That Be and envelope yourself in faith. Faith that you will know what to do when it happens. Faith that a strong guiding force will open the windows to help you see what you need to see. Faith that you can get through the moment ...
What am I talking about? My situation was so small. So easy when I look at the complications that life, sexuality issues and mental health issues add to the equation. I have no idea what it is like to parent a child when you fear for their life ...
We live in a country where health care is free. We can walk into a doctor's office and put our trust in professionals to guide us where we need to go to protect our children.
We live in a world where mental health issues are talked about and real. There is no need to gloss over and pretend it is all going to go away when you have the inner knowledge that it is here to stay.
We live in a world where all avenues of all sexuality are out in the open. But until you are the one in those shoes you really have no idea how it feels to not fit within the invisible lines that society deems 'typical'.
We live in a time where we live openly and out loud on all of the social medias available to man. On one hand, this opens doors that were never open before. We can reach out and find support from those who are walking a similar path and feel less alone. The more dangerous path is that there is no time in between the time someone spouts off their thoughts and hits the "Post" button on their cell phone which is connected to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
We know more. We are more connected. It is a time where 'the world' is at our fingertips. Yet ... our children are still hurting and we feel more helpless than ever before.
I have no answers. All I have is the faith that you must sometimes surrender and accept whatever help comes your way. Grab that oxygen mask and save yourself first. So that you are there to help others ....
They were tough years. I wouldn't want to relive them but I did learn lessons along the way that would make the same scenario easier to deal with a second time around.
I have a small dose of understanding for what I am hearing from family and friends as their dependants wade through the dark and murky waters of adolescence.
Growing up is hard. It is hard when life all around you is easy. You don't know who you are and have no idea who you will become. Your measuring stick is the world around you, how you perceive it and how you feel treated within that world. Add hormones and self esteem issues and it is one hot mess.
Add mental health issues into the mix and the entire scenario changes. It is like walking through a mine field. You never know what the next step will bring.
It is happening all around me. Parents and guardians walking on eggshells because they have a child that is at risk.
I have no answers. All I know is to seek out the professionals, take whatever advise that fits and 'grab your oxygen mask'...
An Alanon adage that replays in my mind when life gets too hard is: "Let Go and Let God".
We are mere mortals in this world. We cannot fix everything that is broken. Sometimes to surrender, is to hand the hard stuff over to The Powers That Be and envelope yourself in faith. Faith that you will know what to do when it happens. Faith that a strong guiding force will open the windows to help you see what you need to see. Faith that you can get through the moment ...
What am I talking about? My situation was so small. So easy when I look at the complications that life, sexuality issues and mental health issues add to the equation. I have no idea what it is like to parent a child when you fear for their life ...
We live in a country where health care is free. We can walk into a doctor's office and put our trust in professionals to guide us where we need to go to protect our children.
We live in a world where mental health issues are talked about and real. There is no need to gloss over and pretend it is all going to go away when you have the inner knowledge that it is here to stay.
We live in a world where all avenues of all sexuality are out in the open. But until you are the one in those shoes you really have no idea how it feels to not fit within the invisible lines that society deems 'typical'.
We live in a time where we live openly and out loud on all of the social medias available to man. On one hand, this opens doors that were never open before. We can reach out and find support from those who are walking a similar path and feel less alone. The more dangerous path is that there is no time in between the time someone spouts off their thoughts and hits the "Post" button on their cell phone which is connected to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
We know more. We are more connected. It is a time where 'the world' is at our fingertips. Yet ... our children are still hurting and we feel more helpless than ever before.
I have no answers. All I have is the faith that you must sometimes surrender and accept whatever help comes your way. Grab that oxygen mask and save yourself first. So that you are there to help others ....
Friday, October 25, 2013
Maybe I'm a Night Writer
I get up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. I keep telling myself that I need that quiet time in the morning to think. To process. To ready my head for the day. To write. I keep running out of time.
I used to wake up in the morning with a head full of thoughts that rose to the surface over night. This morning I woke up with a hangover of the nightmare kind. Did you ever have one of those dreams when 'your worst nightmare' walked in the door (literally, in my dream) and all you had to do was force your eyes open?
I think it took every muscle in my body to override the paralysis in my eyelids to pull myself out of my dream-coma. I woke up with my heart pounding and that vision in my mind for minutes. I rolled over and turned on the TV. My heart kept pounding but it took a little longer to get that vision out of my mind.
I didn't have to get up for two and a half more hours. So I rolled over and fell back to sleep.
I wasn't ready to wake up and face this day. So I stayed in bed and watched more TV. Television numbs my brain.
Presently, I am still feeling the effects of my nightmare which has been numbed by a dose of television watching.
I am going through the paces of readying myself for the day ahead but I just want to crawl back into bed and throw the covers over my head.
The weekend is coming. The weekend is coming. And I'm not ready for it! I have a work-packed weekend followed by a week-with-commitments. Which will be followed by another weekend which is already booked up.
Friday has become the new Monday for me. I just have to get through the weekend and it will be okay. I will be back in the routine that is my life. I will earn my living from my home. It will all be okay in the end.
These early morning thoughts are not what I had hoped they would be. Maybe I have become a night-writer. I may have to try that on for size and start exercising in the morning instead ...
I used to wake up in the morning with a head full of thoughts that rose to the surface over night. This morning I woke up with a hangover of the nightmare kind. Did you ever have one of those dreams when 'your worst nightmare' walked in the door (literally, in my dream) and all you had to do was force your eyes open?
I think it took every muscle in my body to override the paralysis in my eyelids to pull myself out of my dream-coma. I woke up with my heart pounding and that vision in my mind for minutes. I rolled over and turned on the TV. My heart kept pounding but it took a little longer to get that vision out of my mind.
I didn't have to get up for two and a half more hours. So I rolled over and fell back to sleep.
I wasn't ready to wake up and face this day. So I stayed in bed and watched more TV. Television numbs my brain.
Presently, I am still feeling the effects of my nightmare which has been numbed by a dose of television watching.
I am going through the paces of readying myself for the day ahead but I just want to crawl back into bed and throw the covers over my head.
The weekend is coming. The weekend is coming. And I'm not ready for it! I have a work-packed weekend followed by a week-with-commitments. Which will be followed by another weekend which is already booked up.
Friday has become the new Monday for me. I just have to get through the weekend and it will be okay. I will be back in the routine that is my life. I will earn my living from my home. It will all be okay in the end.
These early morning thoughts are not what I had hoped they would be. Maybe I have become a night-writer. I may have to try that on for size and start exercising in the morning instead ...
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Blissfully Quiet
I don't have a little story to tell this morning.
Yesterday was an easy day. It has been a pretty easy week within my Daycare World, as one of my daycare charges will be away for two weeks. His dynamic is going to be missed before he returns, but at the moment ... it is quite enjoyable.
I had time to putter yesterday.
I used to be able to putter at things a lot within my Daycare Days (Part I). Daycare, The Sequel has been a whole new ball game. Year One was filled with 1 & 2 year olds. Year Two is presently 2 & 3 year olds, with two, 1 year olds on the list of Coming Attractions. Those little people require a lot of attention!
So yes, I enjoyed the quiet.
I am trying to come up with a play space downstairs. We have one large room that has been dubbed The Playroom from Daycare, Part I. It hasn't been a playroom for a very long time. Its new name has been Storage Area.
It felt good to do a little bit of extra curricular housework (as I started organizing our new/old playroom) within my day.
I actually had energy left over at the end of the day yesterday. I have been putting off getting groceries for close to a week. The longer I wait, the bigger the job becomes. I was thrilled to have a very small list of items. I was less than thrilled to leave the store with a full cart (kitty litter and five, 4-litre jugs of milk will do that to a cart).
My Son found a laser pointer in the cat aisle.
We returned from our shopping trip and My Son immediately unpacked the laser pointer and shone it across the kitchen floor. Our Senior Cat forgot everything else in the world as he re-enacted his youth and chased the little red dot on the floor like a kitten.
Our Junior Cat had never seen such a thing. The look on his face as he watched this little dot of light dart around him was hilarious. Junior Cat doesn't do 'new' well. He likes things to stay the same and he very much likes to know what to expect within his environment. He likes to be the one to make the moves. So when this little ray of light started dancing around him, he didn't quite know what to think.
My Son and Junior Cat disappeared for a while. Within the safe confines of My Son's room (Junior Cat's haven), they played 'laser tag'. Junior Cat became quite familiar with this hypnotic little game.
A while later, all four of us (the cats, My Son and I) congregated in the living room to watch the Laser Cat Show.
Senior Cat played out quickly but he made quite a few laps around the living room before he had to take a rest. Junior Cat took over at that point but after Senior caught his breath, he had one last spurt of energy as they played a joint game of chase-the-light.
Senior Cat's medication has been adjusted and it seems to have given him more energy and a renewed lease on life. We are crossing our fingers and hoping that this is our answer.
I'm tucking away the laughter and joy that we get every single time Senior Cat regains a piece of his old self back. These good times don't last forever so it is wise to cherish the moments.
Yesterday was an easy day. It has been a pretty easy week within my Daycare World, as one of my daycare charges will be away for two weeks. His dynamic is going to be missed before he returns, but at the moment ... it is quite enjoyable.
I had time to putter yesterday.
I used to be able to putter at things a lot within my Daycare Days (Part I). Daycare, The Sequel has been a whole new ball game. Year One was filled with 1 & 2 year olds. Year Two is presently 2 & 3 year olds, with two, 1 year olds on the list of Coming Attractions. Those little people require a lot of attention!
So yes, I enjoyed the quiet.
I am trying to come up with a play space downstairs. We have one large room that has been dubbed The Playroom from Daycare, Part I. It hasn't been a playroom for a very long time. Its new name has been Storage Area.
It felt good to do a little bit of extra curricular housework (as I started organizing our new/old playroom) within my day.
I actually had energy left over at the end of the day yesterday. I have been putting off getting groceries for close to a week. The longer I wait, the bigger the job becomes. I was thrilled to have a very small list of items. I was less than thrilled to leave the store with a full cart (kitty litter and five, 4-litre jugs of milk will do that to a cart).
My Son found a laser pointer in the cat aisle.
We returned from our shopping trip and My Son immediately unpacked the laser pointer and shone it across the kitchen floor. Our Senior Cat forgot everything else in the world as he re-enacted his youth and chased the little red dot on the floor like a kitten.
Our Junior Cat had never seen such a thing. The look on his face as he watched this little dot of light dart around him was hilarious. Junior Cat doesn't do 'new' well. He likes things to stay the same and he very much likes to know what to expect within his environment. He likes to be the one to make the moves. So when this little ray of light started dancing around him, he didn't quite know what to think.
My Son and Junior Cat disappeared for a while. Within the safe confines of My Son's room (Junior Cat's haven), they played 'laser tag'. Junior Cat became quite familiar with this hypnotic little game.
A while later, all four of us (the cats, My Son and I) congregated in the living room to watch the Laser Cat Show.
Senior Cat played out quickly but he made quite a few laps around the living room before he had to take a rest. Junior Cat took over at that point but after Senior caught his breath, he had one last spurt of energy as they played a joint game of chase-the-light.
Senior Cat's medication has been adjusted and it seems to have given him more energy and a renewed lease on life. We are crossing our fingers and hoping that this is our answer.
I'm tucking away the laughter and joy that we get every single time Senior Cat regains a piece of his old self back. These good times don't last forever so it is wise to cherish the moments.
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| Senior Cat's favorite time of day? Snuggle time with the kids. |
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| He even endured a little tug on the whiskers without blinking an eye. What a guy! |
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
The Truth Hurts
Have you ever had someone slap you in the face with your own words? It hurts. Because what you are feeling is the pain that you have inflicted on another being.
Each and every time I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, I have realized that this unique kind of pain is when I recognize that it is the truth of my actions have been hurled back at me. When my heart is hurt before my head has had the chance to figure things out, I know that I have just heard the truth.
I remember sitting across the table from my husband one time when he told me how my actions hurt him. There was a lot of pain inflicted within that marriage but I believe the time that I hurt the most was when he painted a picture with words. I felt what he felt as a direct result of my actions.
I learned to be very critical of myself within a relationship. I became the master of putting myself down first so that no one could beat me to the punch. I was a little bit proud of the fact that I did not feel hurt when my inadequacies were hurled back at me decades later. No one could possibly be harder on me, than I was on myself. I held my head high and carried on.
Yet what was the reason that another being felt compelled to inflict this pain? Because they were hurting themselves. Other conversations revealed that truth. The truth was (once again) that my words and actions hurt another person. Now that stung.
Job performance is another arena that is open for discussion. No one is perfect. You don't grow and learn without making mistakes. It was the one-the-spot discussions or a conversation 'in general', when I recognized that it was my actions had prompted this need for clarity that struck me hardest.
Whether it is within my writing, bookkeeping or tending to the children in my care I know I have short comings and if someone calls me on it before I've remedied it, I recognize the truth when I hear it.
When it comes to matters of the heart and home it is the hardest of all. "You always hurt the ones you love" (the ones you shouldn't hurt at all). We censor our thoughts and words carefully within this world of strangers ... yet it is when we are in the company of the people that we love the most, that we let our words fall off our tongue carelessly.
Life loves to hand out learning opportunities. Kind of a one-two sucker punch at times. A heartfelt compliment from a stranger on one hand. A simple statement from a loved one starting with the words "I feel _____" as a direct or indirect result of my actions on the other hand. A few words have the ability to hold great impact. Good or bad.
"Constructive criticism welcome here" is the motto I attempt to live by. I welcome comments and criticism that help me become better at what I do. But there is something about hearing the truth. It stings a little when you know what you hear is right.
That sting of the truth gives us an opportunity. A chance to right a wrong or work at making a change within. The truth may hurt but it is better than not knowing at all.
Each and every time I feel like I've been punched in the stomach, I have realized that this unique kind of pain is when I recognize that it is the truth of my actions have been hurled back at me. When my heart is hurt before my head has had the chance to figure things out, I know that I have just heard the truth.
I remember sitting across the table from my husband one time when he told me how my actions hurt him. There was a lot of pain inflicted within that marriage but I believe the time that I hurt the most was when he painted a picture with words. I felt what he felt as a direct result of my actions.
I learned to be very critical of myself within a relationship. I became the master of putting myself down first so that no one could beat me to the punch. I was a little bit proud of the fact that I did not feel hurt when my inadequacies were hurled back at me decades later. No one could possibly be harder on me, than I was on myself. I held my head high and carried on.
Yet what was the reason that another being felt compelled to inflict this pain? Because they were hurting themselves. Other conversations revealed that truth. The truth was (once again) that my words and actions hurt another person. Now that stung.
Job performance is another arena that is open for discussion. No one is perfect. You don't grow and learn without making mistakes. It was the one-the-spot discussions or a conversation 'in general', when I recognized that it was my actions had prompted this need for clarity that struck me hardest.
Whether it is within my writing, bookkeeping or tending to the children in my care I know I have short comings and if someone calls me on it before I've remedied it, I recognize the truth when I hear it.
When it comes to matters of the heart and home it is the hardest of all. "You always hurt the ones you love" (the ones you shouldn't hurt at all). We censor our thoughts and words carefully within this world of strangers ... yet it is when we are in the company of the people that we love the most, that we let our words fall off our tongue carelessly.
Life loves to hand out learning opportunities. Kind of a one-two sucker punch at times. A heartfelt compliment from a stranger on one hand. A simple statement from a loved one starting with the words "I feel _____" as a direct or indirect result of my actions on the other hand. A few words have the ability to hold great impact. Good or bad.
"Constructive criticism welcome here" is the motto I attempt to live by. I welcome comments and criticism that help me become better at what I do. But there is something about hearing the truth. It stings a little when you know what you hear is right.
That sting of the truth gives us an opportunity. A chance to right a wrong or work at making a change within. The truth may hurt but it is better than not knowing at all.
"The truth hurts for a little while, but lies hurt forever."
- Eileen Parra
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