Truly Impossible Things

Glossary for reading the following blog entry:

Book keeping - a part time job that I do from my home; a second income; work that I would like to eventually replace my daycare income with; a responsibility

Book project - a project that I have taken on, compiling family history and memories; something that I would like to pursue in my eventual retirement from my daycare job; a passion

Book - a piece of fiction that someone else has written; reading provides me with such insight and appreciation of the work involved; a mental vacation from my real life; reading is something I do for me

I was giving myself some kudos for tackling the family history book project that I had been avoiding. I had placed my 'book-project' pile (passion) in the place that my book-keeping (responsibility) pile usually goes, to give this job a priority in my life. And yesterday, I was faced with what feels like a truly impossible thing.

It felt as though the person who I do the book keeping for, saw other work sitting in her spot and was jealous. Because she came up with the most time consuming, inane task that will occupy a great part of the upcoming long weekend.

Things had been very busy at their shop this past week, so I wasn't getting any book keeping work. She didn't have time to work on the things that she needs to do, before she can pass along some of the follow-up work to me. I allowed myself a day off to indulge myself in reading a book, before I realized that this was the opportunity that I had been waiting for. Time to focus on the family history book project that I had been putting off for so long.

I spent 2 days doing 'impossible things' and with a long weekend forth coming, I knew that I was gaining some good momentum for the task at hand. And then I got handed this other job.

The task at hand (for the book keeping) is to go into their accounting system and hand write every invoice number, dollar amount and date of every single invoice posted since June 1, 2008. This is a very busy company. I spent 5 hours at this yesterday, feverishly trying to hit a half way mark so that it wouldn't infringe on my weekend too much. And I got to the end of the "F's". That is about a quarter of the way through the alphabet! That means that it is very likely that I have 15 more hours to invest in this job. 5 hours a day, for the 3 days that I have off. I am just a tad bitter.

Now to be realistic, I get paid well to do this job. I can do it at my leisure and I can do it all from home. All I have to do, is be willing to sacrifice a great part of my weekend. And the truth is, that she may have felt badly for not giving me work all week because she knows that the pay cheque that I earn from my book keeping job has made a huge difference in my budget. So in every logical sense, I should be eternally grateful that I have this job and this income. And I am.

But I must prioritize my jobs this weekend. My brain is the freshest in the morning. So the mornings will be devoted to working on the family history book project that I am helping my friend put together. I need to get caught up with that job. It has piled up on me and I don't do well with unfinished work staring me in the face. Working on a task that I am determined to complete, brings me a great deal of satisfaction. Seeing the pile visibly lessen will spur me on to great things. I want to get excited about this, but it is very hard when I don't keep on top of it.

Yesterday I truly realized why my family-history-book-project has been tabled for so long. What I suspected was true. The book keeping job has taken priority. And it must. This is a responsibility that I asked for, that I wanted and I hope to attract more of this type of work to me. So I am not berating myself for putting it first.

The family-history book project is a passion. This is also something that I want to attract into my life. I would love to be able to retire from the work-world and devote myself and my time to collecting family memories and compiling them for people. I am working on a dream and a direction that I want my life to take. So I desperately need to find a way to work this into my life because this is something that is important to me. The friend that I am helping is my first experiment with doing this for someone outside of my own family. And I feel like I am failing at it. I haven't placed the appropriate amount of value on it. I haven't set my priorities.

It was on this long weekend last year, that I was going on 'road trips' with my mom to collect memories from her and her sisters for the 'The Book' that I blogged about for the early part of last year. My work was just beginning - I had a weekend's worth of conversations to transcribe into the written word, I had yet to purchase and decipher Microsoft Word, I was in regular contact with the book publishing company to ensure that I was formatting the book properly, I had to scan photos for the photo album section of the book (I didn't realize that I just had to scan the photos that were lent to me until after I had invested endless hours and dollars copying the pictures at my neighborhood Walmart photo lab) and I still had to put their memories into a 'story' format. I was on the cusp of the work that lied ahead of me. And by March 23rd, I had completed the first draft http://colleen-lifeasiknowit.blogspot.com/2008/03/mission-accomplished.html .

When I look at the road that lied before me at this time last year, I know that I am well on my way to completing my friend's family history. I went on my first memory gathering expedition with her family on August 27th last year, so in that context I am not doing so well. But the goal that I set for myself to have the first draft of her book complete by March 31st doesn't look so unrealistic to me now.

I have 3 full days ahead of me. Work to do, passions to pursue and ... a book that I would like to lose myself in with the time that is left over.

I love long weekends. The extra time off makes the impossible ... possible!