Will Someone Please Clean the Cat Litter ...

I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't think about ''what if ..."

What if ... these were my last days to walk on this earth? Did I leave my life in order? Did I say all that I needed to say? Do the people in my life know what they mean to me? Is the house clean??

I have had waves of feeling ''this is it'' ... life is too good. I've said all I have to say. I think the end is near. Then the calendar pages continue to fly by.

There have been many times when I had written letters and told people near and dear to me how special they are to me. I would write one letter, then the next and yet another. I thought "I have said good-bye to the people I care about''. I'm ready to go now. Then, another decade passed by.

Every time we headed out on the open highway, I would have a sense of trepidation. "What if ... we don't make it home?" Is the house clean? Is the laundry done? I've always been rewarded to returning to a clean house and only the laundry that we brought home.

I've had general anesthetic twice in my life. Each time, it has been for something very minor. But it reminds me of my human vulnerabilities when I am oblivious to all that is going on around me. "What if ... I don't wake up?" Have I done everything that needs to be done? Obviously, I woke up as I continue to wake up every single morning of my life. Even at times when I'd rather be sleeping ... I wake up. That's life.

Last year, my mom and I headed off on a winter holiday together. This holiday involved four separate flights for me. Four landings and four take offs. I had just lived the best-year-of-my-life-so-far. I had spent Christmas with my own little family ... some frail relationships were on the cusp of becoming healed. I was happy beyond words. I had written a book, compiled many photo slide shows - for my kids, about my own family, our extended family and for all of the kids I babysat for. I had just sent off Christmas cards, letters and a poem about my extraordinary year. It just doesn't get better than that. I was so entirely happy, I was scared. And I was going on a plane. "What if ... that was the last year of my life?" I was peaceful with the knowledge that I had written and put together the evidence of a life I was eternally grateful to be living. But ... I was still around to write the next years Christmas cards, so obviously it wasn't my time to go.

There was a time in my life when I didn't know what it felt like to be happy, serene and at peace with my world. 'Happiness' was foreign to me. With it, there always came a foreboding thought of "It can't last ..." This ominous sense of dread marked many of my years in my Old Life. Thus, my preoccupation with the idea of 'good things can't last'.

The last few years of my life have proven me wrong on every level. Just when I think that life couldn't get better ... it does. Just when I think that I couldn't be happier ... I am. Just when I think I have life by the tail ... I climb one more 'mountain'. I have come to accept the fact that good things ... can get better!

That said, at this very moment I'm flying off to The Greatest Adventure of My Life So Far.

Is my house clean? Relatively. When leaving two people, a cat and a dog behind to tend to 'life' in my absence, I know that the house will be well lived in. If someone doesn't vacuum while I'm away, I think that we will be able to knit up a Chihuahua out of the hair that The Monster Dog has shed.

This brings me to the title of my blog ...

My family loves cats. All of us are cat lovers. When My Oldest went through a heart wrenching time in his life and was feeling lost and alone, I suggested that he get a cat. He loves cats. A cat is undemanding, yet entertaining and loving when they want to be (kind of like my little family). I love living in a home with a pet. You are never alone. My Oldest considered it, but decided (rather easily) that he wouldn't get a cat. He didn't want to clean the litter. I asked My Second Son and My Youngest if they would be willing to clean the cat litter while I was away. They (as easily as My Oldest vetoed the idea of adopting a cat) said ... "No".

So ... as I have done before, I lined up the spare cat litter boxes that I have on hand for occasions such as this and I will clean a week's worth of 'litter' upon my return.

Yes - I've had another great year. My family unit feels stronger than it has ever felt before. I continue to tell people what they mean to me. My house is clean (at least when I leave, it will be). And ... I'm living my dream. I'm participating in a dance competition!!

I still have another 'book' to write. I have an education to complete, a new career on my horizon and my next dream vacation is to go on an Alaskan cruise. Then there is the Bed and Breakfast of My Future. Not to mention, my house hasn't had a good cleaning in more years than I can remember. I have a lot left on my life-list-of-things-to-do. I'll be back!!

But, if I don't return ...

"Would someone please clean the cat litter??" "Please??"