It's What's in the Middle That Counts

"... beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..." ~ from "Hope Floats"

As it is with the ebbs and flows of life, I am ebbing back to a state of normal after a whirlwind four weeks, of preparing for and performing in 'Ballroom With a Twist'.

A lot of hype went into that 1 minute and 25 second dance routine.

As we were learning the choreography, I went through my (usual) "I shouldn't be here ... I'll never learn this ... I'm disappointing my partner/the team ..." thoughts. It happens every time. I keep shaking my head thinking "I don't belong here."

We were a group of 18. It took me a while to find my 'groove' within the whole. Our practises were from 9:00 to 10:00 p.m., so when the practise was over I was racing home to say good night to My Youngest before he went to sleep. I wasn't lingering afterwards and getting to know my team mates.

Beginnings are uncomfortable for me.

Fast forward to the end ...

Just as we were nearing the end, new hope was born. There was a chance that we may be asked to perform at the last two stops of their Canadian tour. Hope! Just as we were coming to an end there was a potential opportunity to postpone the inevitable.

It was so exciting to hold onto that dream. Hope to prolong the short mourning period of the end of our time together as a team. Hope that we could take our group on the road! Hope!

So when we didn't get the call to join the cast of 'Ballroom With a Twist' the day after our final performance - our final chance to be together as a group, it was a double whammy.

The end of a good run, coupled with the loss of a dream. It knocked the wind out of my sails. For one evening. I didn't realize how much I had wished for this ... until we didn't get 'the call'. Not even a call to say we weren't going. Nothing.

I woke up the next morning and I was back to remembering 'the middle' of this adventure.

Being involved in a group. Getting to know new people. Learning fun and peppy choreography. The primping (that drives me crazy) and all of the excitement of putting it all together.

I always look back on my involvement with these dance formation groups and remember the 'middle'. Feeling a part of a whole. No one person stands out - we are a team. It's a good feeling to belong.

This mini-adventure is just one little blip in the 'dash', which is my life.

"... For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth ..."

~an excerpt from the poem 'The Dash' by Linda Ellis