Four Pages

Yesterday was fraught with distraction. One mid-morning appointment threw my day out of kilter and I didn't fully recover from it.

My excuses were many. I can't write without coffee (I was on a twelve hour fast and was unable to eat or drink before my appointment). I need caffeine. I am so exhausted without my morning java. I need to go through my regular morning routines. I fell asleep on the couch until it was time to get ready to go to my 10:15 appointment.

I brought lunch home with me. I am only on Day Two of my voluntary seclusion and I felt the need to do 'something' for My Son (who am I kidding? I wanted this for myself!). I sat down at the kitchen table and ate my lunch. I never rarely eat at the table. Why could I not just take my nourishment into my Hotel Oasis and get back to my Book Project??! Who knows what my justification was. But I didn't turn on the TV. Yay for me. That was a step in the right direction.

I finished lunch. I threw a load of laundry into the washer. I waited for the mail carrier to walk by our house. I have no idea why the mail holds such fascination for me. It goes back to the days when I used to receive personal letters from time to time (insert audible sigh here). Oh, how I miss those days. Oh yes, right!! I need to get back to my writing.

Why was my Hotel Oasis not holding the same appeal as it did the day before? It was all because my morning was shot. And that was due to lack of caffeine. That's it!! I was too decaffeinated to write. So I grabbed some bottled iced coffee that I had bought for such an occasion and took it into my Oasis. This would do the trick!

That, it did. I spent the better part of the next while running to the bathroom. TMI - I know!! But this just goes on to explain just how lame my excuses were getting. I simply wanted to play. That is the long and short of it.

I kept putting myself back in My Room and shutting the door. I tried.

Then it happened. Sometime in and around the supper hour, my fingers started writing the tale that my subconscious mind had been willing them to write all along. Four pages which recap the story within the story. The story that is the root to who my grandparents were.

So much perspective (in my mind) came from those four pages. It is the basis on which the future was built.

Four pages. Not a lot. But a good, solid foundation is where I needed to begin. It explains my inability to let those stories go without being written.

Today, my agenda is to work on the next generation. My grandma and grandpa. I have a lot of data to work with. I don't think four pages will cover it.

I had my morning smoothie this morning. Coffee is at my side. A healthy lunch is at-the-ready.



All I need to do now is to close the door and carry on.

Four pages is a good goal. It is a very good place to start.