Taking Care of What I Have

I looked at the clock and it was only 6:00 (p.m.). I had cleaned cat litter, eaten supper, updated our daycare blog and had my day officially done and tied up with a bow. It was only 6:00. It seemed like only yesterday when it felt like I was dragging around hundred pound weights with each step. To accomplish all of these feats and have them all behind me by 6:00 p.m. meant it was time to celebrate. I would jump into my pajamas, snuggle up on the couch and fall asleep in front of the TV. Yes, this is a girl who knows how to party!

Last night was different. I knew there was a chance I may have to leave the house so I didn't leap into my pj's at the first sign of slowing down. I stayed dressed. Then when I sat down on the couch, the only reason I grabbed the blanket was for it to serve as the home base for my mini-pedicure.

I hate when my feet get so rough I feel like I could sand down rough surfaces with them. It's annoying and frustrating because it seems like I barely get those appendages all neat and tidy and smooth to the touch and they need more attention.

Last night, I had the time, energy and motivation to sand down those sandpapery soles. I turned on one of last season's episodes of Grey's Anatomy (so I could be all ready and refresh my memory for tonight's season premiere). I was ready to go to work and settle in to watch some good television.

It seems like only yesterday when the I would be grabbing a bag of chips and calling it a party. Last night? A few foot files, some lotion and I was one happy camper.

I was getting nowhere, fast. It seemed like another case of "it's got to get worse before it gets better". My slightly rough feet started to take on the look of a bearded dragon. Yes, stop and take a look at "Google images" for the picture of a bearded dragon. That was what the heel of my foot and the rest of my roughened up calluses looked like. "There is a reason I pay people to do these things!" rambled through my mind on an endless loop as I tried to justify my overspending in the past. Then I remembered the second file I had just thrown out because it looked so worn. That may serve as a "fine sanding" tool to smooth down these rough edges.

Somewhere under 45 minutes later (I know this, because that is how long it takes to watch Grey's Anatomy without commercials), my feet were as smooth as silk and I still had "money in my pocket" from the savings of not running to get a professional to do the job for me. Granted, I still have 6-1/2 week, worn down, worn off and missing nail polish on those smooth toes. And I didn't even think about "cuticles". Whoa, Nellie! Let's take this one Grey's Anatomy episode at a time now. But I had smooth, silky feet and that was pretty amazing.

I have had so many excuses lately. I don't have the flexibility. That is a big one. It is THE reason I started rationalizing this pedicure idea to start with. I don't have the tools. Well, I do actually. I am simply to lazy to put them to use. I don't have the time. Give me a break. I had all the time in the world. I just didn't care to use my time towards that goal.

I have accumulated so many ways in which I waste money. And time.

Cooking is a big one. It seems I would rather waste a half  hour (or more) and gas to drive somewhere to pick up supper, than I would to take that same time and throw something simple together and call it a meal.

Cleaning is another. Simply put, I don't really clean any more. I wipe and I swipe and I keep things presentable. But I don't clean. Part of my excuse is that I have to get rid of the "stuff" first. There is too much clutter to clean. I'm starting to see the light of day when it comes to the excessive "stuff". My little one year old daycare daughter who is staying on, after all of her friends leave loves to "clean". I think we will spend part of our days cleaning together (she loves nothing better than to sit down and clean toys with me after the rest of the kids go home). I'm not sure how long that game will remain fun but we'll give it a whirl. When I become her only play partner at daycare, we may have to resort to desperate measures.

I have not been taking care of what I have. I have been doing a bare minimum, hiring out what is deemed socially acceptable to pay others to do (isn't getting a pedicure somewhat of a status symbol?). Maybe my little one-year-old daycare buddy and I can start doing some stretching and exercising too. I will have to find some inventive ways to pass time with last daycare daughter left standing. Maybe we can make this work for both of us.

I had a small revelation last night as I tended to my feet, in the comfort of my own home. I have so much. I must start taking care of it. Myself. With the tools that I have on hand. Tend to what I have and want to hold onto, while letting go of the rest is like a weight is lifting off my shoulders. I think I'm going to go weigh myself now. I must have lost at least five pounds with all of this "letting go".