A Quiet Weekend at Home

It was a productive weekend. Or so I thought, until I sat down and thought about what I had accomplished.

I did start and complete a few small projects. I have followed through on a few of my Christmas goals. I have issued an invitation and accepted another.

I talked with a few people on the phone. I ran one quick errand.

I cooked two meals yesterday! Hey ... on further thought, we didn't eat out all weekend so I must have scavenged for food around here Friday and Saturday too.

I finished a few crossword puzzles. I sent off a handful of emails. I wrote a letter. I read two pages in a book ...

Why do I feel like I accomplished so much, when in reality all I did was putter?

Because I used to putter constantly. I propelled myself through a day by continually moving and doing. Something. Anything.

Moving through a day in a state of perpetual motion feels good. Things get done.

This weekend, very little interrupted the slow and quiet flow of my days.

It felt wonderful to be home. To stay home. To know that I didn't need to be running here and there.

I was quiet. I wrote a little, thought a little and talked a little. But for the most part, thoughts simply flowed in and out of my head like a quiet breeze.

I didn't have to 'be' anything to anyone.

My Youngest and I quietly co-existed in the house all weekend. We chatted a little now and again. I invited him to come and watch a movie with me Saturday night but he declined. He needs very little from me these days ... but it feels good to quietly share the same space. In peace and harmony.

This past weekend was idyllic. As were the weekends preceding it. In reflecting, my weekends seem to be a continual state of movement. I have been so busy with 'being', 'doing' and 'going' that I haven't had time to appreciate the simplicity of just being home.

Working outside of my home five days a week, working in and around people all day, learning new faces and a new job is exhausting. I haven't had the energy nor ambition to push myself out of my comfort zone after work. Because I am 'there' all day. Friends and family have rallied at my side. I have not walked this path alone.

So this past weekend of (almost) solitude ... was just what the doctor ordered. I thoroughly enjoyed the simple pleasure of a quiet weekend at home.

My Hands Will be Empty ... But My Heart Will be Full

Christmas. I am feeling oddly unaffected by the upcoming stresses of the season, because I am shifting my focus this year.

Random acts of kindness, giving in ways I haven't given before and looking outside of my friend and family circle to find alternate ways of gifting, has relieved the pressure of trying to find the perfect gift that represents the gratitude that I feel for having that person in my life. Once I closed my eyes to the materialism and opened them to looking at alternatives, I felt a part of me come to life.

In this day and age, there are truly very few people that I know that are in dire need. I am one of them. I want for absolutely nothing in my life. I have the ability to indulge in not only necessities ... but many frivolous items. It kind of makes me crazy to think that someone has spent their hard earned (or saved or borrowed) cash on something that may end up collecting dust in my home.

I look at the material gifts that are collecting in my home and it seems like such a waste. How do I make this stop without telling those who gave so generously that though the gesture is fully appreciated, the gift is unnecessary (and there are so many other ways their money could have been utilized ...)?

I must set out early and let those that are on the list that I would dearly love to give to, that a gift will not be forthcoming this year. Instead, I will open my eyes and heart to those who will never know what I may have done on their behalf.

The magic is in keeping the details to myself. I want to be Santa this year. An anonymous, mysterious figure who only exists in the hearts of those who 'believe'. I will still buy for My Youngest ... but I would like to donate the rest of my budgeted Christmas funds to my 'Santa Goal'.

I would like to enact a NO-GIFT policy to those who have given to me in the past.

Instead, I would like for them to take what they may have spent to treat themselves to an indulgence. Whether it is to treat themselves to a cup of coffee ... an afternoon at the movies ... a day with friends ... a dance lesson … a book … or getting their hair done. I would ask them to indulge themselves to anything that brings happiness to their heart.

If they find that in the act of being kind to themselves, they have more to give … commit random acts of kindness. Listen with their heart to hear of those who need a helping hand and give what you may have to offer. Whether it is a material or emotional need that they discover, follow their instincts and reach out in the spirit of the season.

The gift of ‘you’ is all that I could ever want

The gift of your caring, sharing, understanding and compassion is all that I need.

In this season of giving, if I am (or ever have been) on your gift list,

I have but one small request:

Please pay it forward.

Look for ways to spend your time and money

in ways that have significant value to you … or someone in need.

I will look for ways to continue this trend long past the Christmas season. When the opportunity arises, I hope to find ways of acting on giving simple pleasures all year through.

This is a long, convoluted way of saying when I see you throughout this holiday season my hands will be empty but my heart will be full.

Code of Conduct

Yesterday, I had time on my hands to research the school that I will be working at for the next three weeks. I perused their website, current newsletter and student handbook. There was a wealth of general information available and I was able to get a feel for the school I will soon be working at.

This school belongs to the "League of Peaceful Schools" where moral values are emphasized, teaching empathy, self-control and respect for all.

I was intrigued. I believe that the peace within our community/nation/world begins at home. If children are taught methods of resolving issues without the use of violence, coercion or bullying tactics at home, they have a better chance of utilizing those tools once they are out in the real world.

When the school system is dedicated to peaceful resolution of behavioural issues, it gives our next generation the best chance they have to learn the tools to create a peaceful environment. I admit that the school system is up against incredible odds, when children already come equipped with varying backgrounds, morals, behaviour issues and have already learned their own set of problem-solving-techniques.

But when I see and hear teachers consistently treating students fairly, I continue to believe that these students are still given the opportunity to see that the goal of peaceful resolution to problems is something to strive towards.

I continued my journey through the student handbook and found their Code of Conduct, based on the FISH! Philosophy (based on the DVD "FISH! : Catch the energy, release the potential"). I read the four simple practises that encompass the meaning of this philosophy and I thought it was a most perfect way to encompass good living no matter what your age (slightly adapted from the original FISH! Philosophy, so they apply to the students):

• Be There
• Choose Your Attitude
• Make Someone's Day
• Play

Be There - Make every moment count, no matter where you are. Be present and accounted for - whether it is school, work, family, friendship or any place that life takes you.

Choose Your Attitude - I love this one. It is not what happens to you in life, it is how you react to it. Your reaction is a choice that you make. Make choices you can live with. Choose a positive attitude.

Make Someone's Day - The best way to have a great day is to do a good deed, pay someone a compliment, commit random acts of kindness and envelope the spirit of giving. Helping to make someone's day always makes my day brighter.

Play - This is one that I often forget. Take time to laugh, to be joyful, to indulge yourself in that which makes you happy. Watch children playing independently. Watch their expressions, listen to their laughter. Take time to play and rediscover your inner child.

I have often read that "Everything I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten". It's never too late to learn. I am encouraged to find these philosophies enveloped in our school system.

I knew that I wanted to go back to school. Little did I know how much there was to learn in the Elementary grade levels!

The Gift is in the Giving

Thoughts are many ... but words are few this morning. It is a morning where small miracles are at the forefront of my mind.

Simple things like:

•  Waking up to a day where I have the luxury of living a day that is not unlike most of the days that preceded it.
• A day blessed by good health and the health and happiness of my loved ones.
• Feeling safe, happy, secure and content not only in my home and within my family ... but a general sense of feeling good about where I am 'at' in this world.
• Being in a position to 'give'. As this Christmas season rolls around, I am thinking less of buying presents and more about giving.

I am coasting through life at the moment. Life is easy. There are few surprises. Some may call this boring. I call it 'blessed'.

The state of living an expected life can change in a moment. I will appreciate what I have, while I have it ... and do my best to share what I have to give.

I have a lot left over at the end of a day. It is time to push myself out of what is easy and do something with the excess.

The true gift is in the giving.

Unfinished Business

I have spent the morning sending off emails that were long overdue. The words that I should have sent off days ago are finally finding their way to their recipients.

Unfinished business. It takes an enormous amount of energy to not do something.

Putting off something for tomorrow, which could have been done today is recently my most annoying habit. This must change!

I have been talking the talk ... but not walking the walk. I have inspirational and motivational articles and books all around me. I have not pushed myself out of my comfort zone to do anything I have not wanted to do for too long.

It is time to make an action plan that I can and will follow through on! It is time to wrap up unfinished business so that I can pursue that which I am passionate about. The stuff that dreams are made of.

"If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up."

~ J.M. Power

Ready For Anything

It was an unexpected day. I thought I knew where I was working yesterday, but one phone call just before I walked out the door changed that.

I already had my brain turned on and working through strategies to make the day ahead of me productive and positive. All I had to do when my destination changed unexpectedly, was to take that plan and make it work in a brand new environment.

Another new school. A day where Head Office didn't receive the change of location information in time to make any of my computer programs functional where I was working.

New faces, no other secretary in the office and a whole new set of challenges were set out before me.

And it was okay! It was really okay!! I introduced myself to staff members as they walked through the door and treated the day as if I was 'there to stay'. I made a conscious effort to remember names. I worked independently and treated this as a practice run for the new school that I will be working at next week (for the next three weeks).

The staff were wonderful. The students were awesome (I actually had one student tell me that I was awesome, too!). It was a whirlwind day and I was still standing at the end of it all.

It was a day that helped me appreciate the gift of a new beginning. Another chance to start all over again, utilize the knowledge and strategies I've learned the past month and make the most of a day.

It was a day when I woke up and prepared myself for whatever the day had in store. I was ready for anything. It proved to be a very good way to start the day!

I Won't Go Back There!

I've had many life-experiences which were unfair and hurtful which have marked the hills and valleys in my journey through this life of mine.

As I wrote that sentence, my life past flashed before me. Yes. There have been some life-changing experiences which I wouldn't want to live again. But I did live them ... once. It is my choice not to go back and emotionally dwell those occasions unless doing so, will help someone else (usually my children).

I've had some interesting lessons. Some of them had to repeated in various forms before I finally learned what I needed to know, so that I could move onto new lessons.

This fall has been one of those 'new lessons'. I found myself in the middle of a situation that I did not create and was out of my control. It tore me up inside. I was a shadow of the person that I thought I had become. Nothing that had worked in the past, worked in that situation. All I could do was try my best ... and cry (and I did a lot of that).

Finally, the solution was taken out of my hands. The powers that be removed me from a toxic situation and tossed me into a brand new set of lessons. I walked away from a situation which I could not change, knowing that I had done everything in my power to overcome the challenges. I didn't say or do anything that I regretted. I am trying my best to take the 'lessons learned' and pay them forward into my newest set of life-lessons.

I won't go back and relive those months. It wasn't fair. Some people don't play by the rules but it doesn't mean that others have to resort to their behaviour to 'win'. I remain firm in my resolve that it was a blessing in disguise that the choice to remain in a bad situation was taken out of my hands. I will move on.

I had a conversation last night where I had the opportunity to go back and reopen freshly healed wounds. I refused to take the bait and let my emotions take over my thinking. It was what it was. It isn't any more. I feel happier in this new state of flux, than I did in the state of upheaval that I lived during that time frame. My new situation isn't perfect. But it isn't eating me up inside. I won't go back to 'that place' unless it serves a purpose.

I have done my best to take the lessons learned and apply them to other situations. Bad leadership trickles down and affects all those who work under that leadership. It infects bystanders. It affects the innocents. It is those that don't have a clue what is going on that receive the inferior service, uncaring attitude and a myriad of oversights because 'the obvious' isn't apparent when staff are receiving pressure from all angles.

Now, when I am on the receiving end of poor customer service, I try my best not to jump to conclusions. Perhaps it is a new employee. There may be inadequate training or inadequate staffing. Perhaps there isn't an adequate system of checks and balances to assist staff who walk into a new role (or shift). The staff may not have a strong and supportive team behind them. They may be on the receiving end of subtle but chronic bullying in the workplace. And management that does not confront those issues. Or ... they may simply not be suited for that position and have remained where they are because it is easier than starting from scratch somewhere else.

Now, I won't go back there. But I will do my best not to jump to conclusions. When I run across this 'lesson' in its next revised form ... I will try to empower myself by taking what I learned and pushing through.