I have graduated from my first school-year at my new job.
I walked out the door yesterday afternoon with a school-year of 'firsts' under my belt. I have learned a lot. I have a lot yet to learn. I have made mistakes and I have learned from them. There are several things that I would do differently if I was to do it all over again ... but then again, there were lessons to be learned by doing things the way I did. It's all good ...
Ten months of uncertainty has led to two months of summer holidays. Two more months of not quite knowing what the day will bring. It isn't the summer holiday of my youth, but it is a change.
My school-year ended with a phone call from the principal of the school that I have been working at. I was offered a position at their school for the upcoming school year. It is 1.5 days a week ... but it is 1.5 days of knowing where I am going, the people that I am working with and a good idea of the job that I am doing.
It is a start. It is hope. It is symbolic of what lies ahead. It is another new beginning. It is good. I am pleased ... and I am grateful.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Watch Your Thoughts
Watch your thoughts ...
they become words.
Watch your words ...
they become actions.
Watch your actions ...
they become habits.
Watch your habits ...
they become character.
Watch your character ...
it becomes your destiny.
~ Author Unknown
(I tried google to find out the author of these words and I found: Unknown; Lao Tse; and Mahatma Gandhi ... so I stopped looking for more options. It is important that you know that the words are not mine and I tried to give credit where credit was due. But couldn't).
Sunday, June 24, 2012
A Weekend is Not a Weekend ...
... when you have to work both days.
The hours before the morning/early afternoon shift are spent in count-down mode. How much longer until I must go to work? What can I get done with the time I have on hand? Is it worth starting doing anything that I can't finish? Tick ... tick ... tick ...
... the morning slips away.
The hours after the late afternoon shift is over (which is extended when asked if you can work a little longer; then you stick around to try and finish something before you leave your co-worker fighting against the clock to do what is expected), are spent finding nourishment of some sort and showering off 'the day'. Anything accomplished after that point is pure gravy.
... then you sleep.
It is an anxiety-ridden siesta as you can't stop the day from whirling past your eyes when you close them. It would be easier if you didn't have to go back to work the next morning. But you do. So you dream of the day over and over and over again.
... you wake up and try to give yourself the time you deserve in the morning.
Time for 'me' things. Reading, writing, doing word puzzles, puttering ...
But the phone rings at 8 a.m and they ask if you can come in an hour and a half early. Grateful as you are, that you have been given two hours notice of this change of schedule ... you wonder. This has only just begun. What is in store from here on???
The schedule change also includes an extra half-hour tacked on to the end of the day. Dare you hope that this means they will not ask you to stay longer than that?
Rinse and repeat the previous night.
Only your sleep is haunted by what you must get done at your other job. One more week where the two jobs collide. I am grateful that this cycle did not begin any sooner than this.
But I can't wonder ... how and when will all of this end???
The hours before the morning/early afternoon shift are spent in count-down mode. How much longer until I must go to work? What can I get done with the time I have on hand? Is it worth starting doing anything that I can't finish? Tick ... tick ... tick ...
... the morning slips away.
The hours after the late afternoon shift is over (which is extended when asked if you can work a little longer; then you stick around to try and finish something before you leave your co-worker fighting against the clock to do what is expected), are spent finding nourishment of some sort and showering off 'the day'. Anything accomplished after that point is pure gravy.
... then you sleep.
It is an anxiety-ridden siesta as you can't stop the day from whirling past your eyes when you close them. It would be easier if you didn't have to go back to work the next morning. But you do. So you dream of the day over and over and over again.
... you wake up and try to give yourself the time you deserve in the morning.
Time for 'me' things. Reading, writing, doing word puzzles, puttering ...
But the phone rings at 8 a.m and they ask if you can come in an hour and a half early. Grateful as you are, that you have been given two hours notice of this change of schedule ... you wonder. This has only just begun. What is in store from here on???
The schedule change also includes an extra half-hour tacked on to the end of the day. Dare you hope that this means they will not ask you to stay longer than that?
Rinse and repeat the previous night.
Only your sleep is haunted by what you must get done at your other job. One more week where the two jobs collide. I am grateful that this cycle did not begin any sooner than this.
But I can't wonder ... how and when will all of this end???
Saturday, June 23, 2012
A Day That I Needed
I couldn't pry myself out of bed yesterday morning. I was so exhausted that I felt on the cusp of being ill (this is a sensation that passes the moment my feet hit the floor so I know it is all in my head ... or lack of sleep??). I looked at Andre, our cat, who was 'at one' with My Youngest and his bed. I told him, "I think I'm going to have a Cat Day if I don't have to work today " A day where you find a sunbeam, a couch and doze in and out of consciousness. All day. Then all night.
I think that I may have cried if I had gotten called in to work at that point of the day.
In reality ... I would have agreed to work (at my first job), put in my day and at the end of it I would have been grateful for the way it turned out. There is a little treasure hidden among every day at my job despite the fact that it is still rather unpredictable.
But! The phone didn't ring and as the clock inched closer to 8:00 a.m., I had the feeling that I got the day that I was hoping for.
My Youngest Son has lost interest in all available lunch foods. Since we were only four days away from the last day of school, I offered to pick up some lunch and bring it home for him. I didn't have to ask him twice. We had a date!
So ... my 'challenge' was to do what I had to do and be back home by 11:45 a.m.
My to-do list consisted of: getting groceries. My want-to-do list consisted of: trekking over to a used book store to see what good reads I could find for the summer (and for an aunt who is back in the hospital). My pure-indulgence desire was: to do something to treat myself.
Am I just a little bit pouty because I worked last Saturday & Sunday at my second job and I'm booked to work today & tomorrow as well? In a word? Yes.
Seven day work-availability is for the birds. I want to shout "I QUIT!" at the top of my lungs. But I settled for making myself unavailable to work at my second job for the July 1st long weekend. Mom is coming out Sunday night (tomorrow) and I just want to keep that weekend free so that we can play things by ear. And so that I can just ... breathe.
But since they do actually pay me to work there, I decided to indulge myself in a little bit of pampering with my second income. Lucky for me, a new salon opened up in our neighborhood. They do hair and all of the esthetics menu of goodies. I ran my fingers through my hair ... then looked at my toes that needed to be tended ... and at the shabby cuticles on my hands ... and opted for HAIR.
I called to see if they had an opening. And I was asked, "When would you like to come in?" It sounded like the day was wide open. So I took a risk and asked about the price of getting a color and highlights. The price was reasonable. She had the time. And so did I. I booked an appointment for 1:00 and thought to myself "My second job will pay for this extravagance!"
Once that appointment was booked, the day took off. I ran my errands and was home with our lunch with minutes to spare. I had time to eat lunch, return a phone call ... and I was soon strolling over to my date with a hair stylist!
It was a most pleasant way to spend an afternoon! My stylist didn't have other people booked in while we waited for the color to set (or whatever it does), so we had coffee and visited like old friends. Between the cup of caffeine, the psychological lift one gets from getting their hair cut and colored; and the company ... I walked out of that appointment with more life in me than I have had in a while. Yes. Two hours of pampering was definitely what the doctor ordered!
Yes ... a Cat Day was originally all that was on my agenda. But I feel ever so much better for having spent the day in a mildly productive manner. And the best reward of all? A little bit of pampering.
When you feel a little out of sorts and like you are being pulled in too many directions ... a small bit of pampering goes a long way.
I think that I may have cried if I had gotten called in to work at that point of the day.
In reality ... I would have agreed to work (at my first job), put in my day and at the end of it I would have been grateful for the way it turned out. There is a little treasure hidden among every day at my job despite the fact that it is still rather unpredictable.
But! The phone didn't ring and as the clock inched closer to 8:00 a.m., I had the feeling that I got the day that I was hoping for.
My Youngest Son has lost interest in all available lunch foods. Since we were only four days away from the last day of school, I offered to pick up some lunch and bring it home for him. I didn't have to ask him twice. We had a date!
So ... my 'challenge' was to do what I had to do and be back home by 11:45 a.m.
My to-do list consisted of: getting groceries. My want-to-do list consisted of: trekking over to a used book store to see what good reads I could find for the summer (and for an aunt who is back in the hospital). My pure-indulgence desire was: to do something to treat myself.
Am I just a little bit pouty because I worked last Saturday & Sunday at my second job and I'm booked to work today & tomorrow as well? In a word? Yes.
Seven day work-availability is for the birds. I want to shout "I QUIT!" at the top of my lungs. But I settled for making myself unavailable to work at my second job for the July 1st long weekend. Mom is coming out Sunday night (tomorrow) and I just want to keep that weekend free so that we can play things by ear. And so that I can just ... breathe.
But since they do actually pay me to work there, I decided to indulge myself in a little bit of pampering with my second income. Lucky for me, a new salon opened up in our neighborhood. They do hair and all of the esthetics menu of goodies. I ran my fingers through my hair ... then looked at my toes that needed to be tended ... and at the shabby cuticles on my hands ... and opted for HAIR.
I called to see if they had an opening. And I was asked, "When would you like to come in?" It sounded like the day was wide open. So I took a risk and asked about the price of getting a color and highlights. The price was reasonable. She had the time. And so did I. I booked an appointment for 1:00 and thought to myself "My second job will pay for this extravagance!"
Once that appointment was booked, the day took off. I ran my errands and was home with our lunch with minutes to spare. I had time to eat lunch, return a phone call ... and I was soon strolling over to my date with a hair stylist!
It was a most pleasant way to spend an afternoon! My stylist didn't have other people booked in while we waited for the color to set (or whatever it does), so we had coffee and visited like old friends. Between the cup of caffeine, the psychological lift one gets from getting their hair cut and colored; and the company ... I walked out of that appointment with more life in me than I have had in a while. Yes. Two hours of pampering was definitely what the doctor ordered!
Yes ... a Cat Day was originally all that was on my agenda. But I feel ever so much better for having spent the day in a mildly productive manner. And the best reward of all? A little bit of pampering.
When you feel a little out of sorts and like you are being pulled in too many directions ... a small bit of pampering goes a long way.
Friday, June 22, 2012
To Award or Not to Award ...
In this world of political correctness and success at all costs, have celebration ceremonies lost their lustre?
The Grade 8 Graduation Ceremony has been genetically altered to a Grade 8 Farewell. Students are acknowledged for 'putting in their time' at elementary school in lieu of graduating.
School is geared for success these days. I agree with the concept. But when students that are struggling with the academics of learning are moved through their education according to their age instead of their abilities ... is this a good thing?
I agree that the social aspect of moving along with your peers is something that bears consideration. But should it be a blanket decision for all students? Shouldn't each student and situation be based on individual needs and what is in the best interest for that student?
I attended my Youngest Son's Grade 8 Farewell ceremony last night. I have done this twice before when my Oldest Sons graduated (yes, they used the word 'graduate' in those days) from the elementary school system and onto high school. Each of these ceremonies struck an emotional chord within me.
Perhaps it was because each of my sons had challenges in their elementary years and due to circumstances beyond their control, they struggled.
My Oldest repeated the second grade and he went through his entire school life saying "I'm in Grade __ ... but I should be in Grade __ (the grade above)". I am certain that he could tell you all of the reasons that it is important (socially) to move along with your peers. But because he repeated a grade that was vital to learning the basics on which the rest of his education was based, he succeeded academically. As a parent, I was quietly relieved ... because he had a one year advantage to better equip him with the peer pressures.
My Middle Son struggled with school but did not fall in the spectrum of any learning ability that was making this a challenge. So my mom subsidized the cost for him to attend an out-of-school, after-school-hours tutorial type of school to assist those who struggled academically. Yes ... my son moved along with his peers. But he struggled to keep up and succeed. Personally, I think that his state of feeling overwhelmed was at the core of some of the phone calls I received from his teacher in elementary. School does not hold a lot of fond memories for him.
Yet ... the Grade 8 Graduation ceremonies for each of them was a memorable occasion. Why? Because each of them were acknowledged for a challenge they overcame (I believe that, in part, is the reason behind the French Award that My Oldest received) and what they were successful at.
The presentation of these awards were preceded with an explanation of what the award was, what qualities they were looking for in the recipient and then before the actual presentation of the award, they described the student's qualities who was receiving the award. I felt the drum roll in my heart. When the award was presented, my heart swelled with joy as their lives passed before my eyes and I saw all that they overcame to achieve this.
My Youngest Son has had an easy go of it so far. Our home life is calm, stable and supportive. He catches on to the academics of school easily. He enjoys sports and has a flair for the arts (especially drama). He is a good citizen at his school. He does small things that make a big difference in his community. That ... is just who he is.
This year, he made a conscious effort to make it a memorable year. He ensured that he was involved in what was important to him. Right from the onset of the school year, he made it his goal to have perfect attendance for the year. He succeeded in his goals.
Last night, I had few expectations but I was hopeful that the ceremony would feel up close and personal. This is the last Grade 8 ceremony that I will attend as a mother. That sentiment alone should have made this a momentous occasion.
But it wasn't.
My number one complaint is that I could barely hear what was being said. The vast majority of the ceremony was in the voice of the students. Unfortunately we couldn't hear a lot of the voices. Half way into the ceremony someone had the bright idea to turn up the volume on the speakers. The other half of the frustration was with the unending voices of the children in the audience. If I have one suggestion for these ceremonies, it would be to strongly encourage a quiet audience. Provide childcare or make a concerted effort to ensure the adults in the audience are able to hear over the small children (this really irks me and I can still feel a residual grudge this morning).
The farewell program (from what I could tell) was thoughtful and highlighted each student equally. As each student went up to accept their certificate, the student preceding them described who they were; their likes & dislikes; their hopes and dreams. It would have been nice to hear all of them ...
Then as (what appeared to be an afterthought) the ceremony was winding up, they had a few awards to hand out. The only word that I heard to describe the first one, was 'proficiency'. Oh. With little fanfare and an unmemorable description of the award, two female students were called up to accept this award. Then there was one more. I thought I heard the word 'Kinsmen' ... that's all I made out before My Son and another boy's name were announced and they went up and touched the award and went back to their seats.
What just happened here???
As the vice principal came up and congratulated My Son after the ceremony, I asked him what the award was for. I was dumbfounded when I heard his (lack of) answer.
He stumbled and fumbled over the words and said words like: overall; community; academically; and a few more words that I have forgotten. He said that the school had made the decision not to have any awards and an organization "Kids Up" (????) approached the school and insisted that they had this award that they wanted to be given. They didn't have the plaques made up in time (they hope they will deliver them before school ends next week), nor did they have a presenter for the award. But they insisted ... so the school obliged. Even though their heart was not in it.
Am I proud of my son for receiving this acknowledgement? I think so. I feel like I should make up words to describe why he received it. But it was an honor to hear that he stood out in a positive way.
What the school decided to do in lieu of awards, was to put stickers on the individual student's certificate to acknowledge the areas in which they were award-worthy. Do I agree that these acknowledgements be made on an individual basis? Definitely. How can you give one award when there are a dozen worthy students? How can you discern the vast differences as to why one student should receive this acknowledgement over another? If one percentage point makes a difference as to who receives an award over another ... it doesn't encompass the individual efforts required. Yes! Acknowledge all students for what they excel at.
But to me, there is one acknowledgement that could and should have been made. Attendance. Yes ... there are a wide and vast array of reasons why some students must miss school. But after a year of being responsible for taking attendance calls and following up on unexcused absences ... I am quite biased in regards to this matter.
Reasons that I have heard for students being absent:
That is why I think that there is one award that is politically correct to acknowledge. Attendance. Even my mom received the Perfect Attendance award for every (?) year she bowled. Why not at school?
My Son told me that they were told at the beginning of the year, that they would come up with a special acknowledgement for those that had perfect attendance for the year. My son was inspired by another student who had perfect attendance for four years. He made up his mind and achieved his goal. What was the special acknowledgement?? Pizza lunch. Oh.
Well, my son ... this is real life. You must set your own sights and standards high. Reach for the stars and believe anything is possible. You will find your rewards as you go along ... but most of them will come from doing your personal best and giving yourself credit where credit is due. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge every small victory.
The reality is that awards aren't given out for life successes. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the little things that people do when ever you have an opportunity. We all need a little encouragement from time to time.
The Grade 8 Graduation Ceremony has been genetically altered to a Grade 8 Farewell. Students are acknowledged for 'putting in their time' at elementary school in lieu of graduating.
School is geared for success these days. I agree with the concept. But when students that are struggling with the academics of learning are moved through their education according to their age instead of their abilities ... is this a good thing?
I agree that the social aspect of moving along with your peers is something that bears consideration. But should it be a blanket decision for all students? Shouldn't each student and situation be based on individual needs and what is in the best interest for that student?
I attended my Youngest Son's Grade 8 Farewell ceremony last night. I have done this twice before when my Oldest Sons graduated (yes, they used the word 'graduate' in those days) from the elementary school system and onto high school. Each of these ceremonies struck an emotional chord within me.
Perhaps it was because each of my sons had challenges in their elementary years and due to circumstances beyond their control, they struggled.
My Oldest repeated the second grade and he went through his entire school life saying "I'm in Grade __ ... but I should be in Grade __ (the grade above)". I am certain that he could tell you all of the reasons that it is important (socially) to move along with your peers. But because he repeated a grade that was vital to learning the basics on which the rest of his education was based, he succeeded academically. As a parent, I was quietly relieved ... because he had a one year advantage to better equip him with the peer pressures.
My Middle Son struggled with school but did not fall in the spectrum of any learning ability that was making this a challenge. So my mom subsidized the cost for him to attend an out-of-school, after-school-hours tutorial type of school to assist those who struggled academically. Yes ... my son moved along with his peers. But he struggled to keep up and succeed. Personally, I think that his state of feeling overwhelmed was at the core of some of the phone calls I received from his teacher in elementary. School does not hold a lot of fond memories for him.
Yet ... the Grade 8 Graduation ceremonies for each of them was a memorable occasion. Why? Because each of them were acknowledged for a challenge they overcame (I believe that, in part, is the reason behind the French Award that My Oldest received) and what they were successful at.
The presentation of these awards were preceded with an explanation of what the award was, what qualities they were looking for in the recipient and then before the actual presentation of the award, they described the student's qualities who was receiving the award. I felt the drum roll in my heart. When the award was presented, my heart swelled with joy as their lives passed before my eyes and I saw all that they overcame to achieve this.
My Youngest Son has had an easy go of it so far. Our home life is calm, stable and supportive. He catches on to the academics of school easily. He enjoys sports and has a flair for the arts (especially drama). He is a good citizen at his school. He does small things that make a big difference in his community. That ... is just who he is.
This year, he made a conscious effort to make it a memorable year. He ensured that he was involved in what was important to him. Right from the onset of the school year, he made it his goal to have perfect attendance for the year. He succeeded in his goals.
Last night, I had few expectations but I was hopeful that the ceremony would feel up close and personal. This is the last Grade 8 ceremony that I will attend as a mother. That sentiment alone should have made this a momentous occasion.
But it wasn't.
My number one complaint is that I could barely hear what was being said. The vast majority of the ceremony was in the voice of the students. Unfortunately we couldn't hear a lot of the voices. Half way into the ceremony someone had the bright idea to turn up the volume on the speakers. The other half of the frustration was with the unending voices of the children in the audience. If I have one suggestion for these ceremonies, it would be to strongly encourage a quiet audience. Provide childcare or make a concerted effort to ensure the adults in the audience are able to hear over the small children (this really irks me and I can still feel a residual grudge this morning).
The farewell program (from what I could tell) was thoughtful and highlighted each student equally. As each student went up to accept their certificate, the student preceding them described who they were; their likes & dislikes; their hopes and dreams. It would have been nice to hear all of them ...
Then as (what appeared to be an afterthought) the ceremony was winding up, they had a few awards to hand out. The only word that I heard to describe the first one, was 'proficiency'. Oh. With little fanfare and an unmemorable description of the award, two female students were called up to accept this award. Then there was one more. I thought I heard the word 'Kinsmen' ... that's all I made out before My Son and another boy's name were announced and they went up and touched the award and went back to their seats.
What just happened here???
As the vice principal came up and congratulated My Son after the ceremony, I asked him what the award was for. I was dumbfounded when I heard his (lack of) answer.
He stumbled and fumbled over the words and said words like: overall; community; academically; and a few more words that I have forgotten. He said that the school had made the decision not to have any awards and an organization "Kids Up" (????) approached the school and insisted that they had this award that they wanted to be given. They didn't have the plaques made up in time (they hope they will deliver them before school ends next week), nor did they have a presenter for the award. But they insisted ... so the school obliged. Even though their heart was not in it.
Am I proud of my son for receiving this acknowledgement? I think so. I feel like I should make up words to describe why he received it. But it was an honor to hear that he stood out in a positive way.
What the school decided to do in lieu of awards, was to put stickers on the individual student's certificate to acknowledge the areas in which they were award-worthy. Do I agree that these acknowledgements be made on an individual basis? Definitely. How can you give one award when there are a dozen worthy students? How can you discern the vast differences as to why one student should receive this acknowledgement over another? If one percentage point makes a difference as to who receives an award over another ... it doesn't encompass the individual efforts required. Yes! Acknowledge all students for what they excel at.
But to me, there is one acknowledgement that could and should have been made. Attendance. Yes ... there are a wide and vast array of reasons why some students must miss school. But after a year of being responsible for taking attendance calls and following up on unexcused absences ... I am quite biased in regards to this matter.
Reasons that I have heard for students being absent:
- (s)he's tired
- I can't make her/him go
- they don't have mitts/boots/appropriate clothing
- grandma/cousins/family are in town
- we are going out of town
- family vacation to an exotic (out of country) location
- extra-curricular activities (in the old days, didn't that mean AFTER school?)
- a sibling's tournaments
- they don't have a way to get to school
- I need them at home to help out
- ... and that is just to name a few ...
That is why I think that there is one award that is politically correct to acknowledge. Attendance. Even my mom received the Perfect Attendance award for every (?) year she bowled. Why not at school?
My Son told me that they were told at the beginning of the year, that they would come up with a special acknowledgement for those that had perfect attendance for the year. My son was inspired by another student who had perfect attendance for four years. He made up his mind and achieved his goal. What was the special acknowledgement?? Pizza lunch. Oh.
Well, my son ... this is real life. You must set your own sights and standards high. Reach for the stars and believe anything is possible. You will find your rewards as you go along ... but most of them will come from doing your personal best and giving yourself credit where credit is due. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge every small victory.
The reality is that awards aren't given out for life successes. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the little things that people do when ever you have an opportunity. We all need a little encouragement from time to time.
Eighty percent of success of success is just showing up.
~Woody Allen
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Because I Didn't Make My Lunch ....
If I would have made my lunch yesterday ... I would have missed a chance encounter with some friends that I worked with a lifetime ago.
As I was standing in the line at Tim Hortons waiting for my sandwich, I recognized the person who walked in. We worked together for a few years before My Youngest was born and came to know each other well. Each of us shook our head as we turned back the clock about 16 years and neither of us could disguise our pleasure as we greeted each other.
We barely said hello and she said, "You remember Bonnie? ... she is right over there!" I had no place that I needed to be (I usually eat my sandwich in the car as I drive back to work, so no one suspects my take-out-food addiction), so the three of us sat down and had lunch together.
It was light. It was easy. It was fun. We caught up and heard little snippets of where life has taken us and where we were 'at' in our lives.
Two of the three of us have changed career directions since we last knew each other. One had divorced. One had a child (albeit 14 years ago!). Our children had grown up, gotten educated, pursued careers, married and had their own children. A lot changes over the course of a year ... let alone 15 or more.
But when we sat down and talked, it was as if no time had passed. I felt like the 'me' that I was when I knew them.
I met 'Bonnie' 24 1/2 years ago. She worked at the very first branch that I had ever worked at after our move to our New City.
At the time, my score was pretty high on the 'stress survey'. Within four months I: had a baby; separated from my husband; suffered the death of a parent; moved to a new province; and started a new job. Not to mention, a few financial challenges due to 'all of the above'. I didn't talk much in those days and the people who I worked with knew very little about my story.
About four years ago, I wrote a blog post that mentions a story that Bonnie told one day when three of us went out for coffee:
"Three people who were each dealing with very stressful problems (at the time I was told this story the 3 of us sitting at the table were dealing with cancer, a child with serious health issues and the after effects of an abusive marriage), once went to a very wise man and asked for him to take their problems away. The wise man agreed and each of them were immediately rid of their problems. But what they got in exchange was one of the other problems the other people were living with. After a short time, these same three people returned to the wise man and asked for their original problems back."
It was one of those knee shaking and thought altering conversations that you never forget. I often think of that conversation and the three of us that sat around the table that day.
Yesterday before I left, I mentioned that this truly felt like a déjà vu moment. Three of us sitting around a table at a coffee shop. Talking of things that mattered and simply enjoying each other's company. The moment was much lighter yesterday than it was when we had that original conversation. But I had the opportunity to tell Bonnie that I often thought of that conversation and the story she told us that day.
Sometimes life just opens itself up to golden opportunities. A chance to thank someone for making a profound difference ... 24 years later.
If I would have made my lunch yesterday, this chance encounter would not have happened. My laziness and Tim Hortons addiction set the stage for a most memorable lunch date!
As I was standing in the line at Tim Hortons waiting for my sandwich, I recognized the person who walked in. We worked together for a few years before My Youngest was born and came to know each other well. Each of us shook our head as we turned back the clock about 16 years and neither of us could disguise our pleasure as we greeted each other.
We barely said hello and she said, "You remember Bonnie? ... she is right over there!" I had no place that I needed to be (I usually eat my sandwich in the car as I drive back to work, so no one suspects my take-out-food addiction), so the three of us sat down and had lunch together.
It was light. It was easy. It was fun. We caught up and heard little snippets of where life has taken us and where we were 'at' in our lives.
Two of the three of us have changed career directions since we last knew each other. One had divorced. One had a child (albeit 14 years ago!). Our children had grown up, gotten educated, pursued careers, married and had their own children. A lot changes over the course of a year ... let alone 15 or more.
But when we sat down and talked, it was as if no time had passed. I felt like the 'me' that I was when I knew them.
I met 'Bonnie' 24 1/2 years ago. She worked at the very first branch that I had ever worked at after our move to our New City.
At the time, my score was pretty high on the 'stress survey'. Within four months I: had a baby; separated from my husband; suffered the death of a parent; moved to a new province; and started a new job. Not to mention, a few financial challenges due to 'all of the above'. I didn't talk much in those days and the people who I worked with knew very little about my story.
About four years ago, I wrote a blog post that mentions a story that Bonnie told one day when three of us went out for coffee:
"Three people who were each dealing with very stressful problems (at the time I was told this story the 3 of us sitting at the table were dealing with cancer, a child with serious health issues and the after effects of an abusive marriage), once went to a very wise man and asked for him to take their problems away. The wise man agreed and each of them were immediately rid of their problems. But what they got in exchange was one of the other problems the other people were living with. After a short time, these same three people returned to the wise man and asked for their original problems back."
It was one of those knee shaking and thought altering conversations that you never forget. I often think of that conversation and the three of us that sat around the table that day.
Yesterday before I left, I mentioned that this truly felt like a déjà vu moment. Three of us sitting around a table at a coffee shop. Talking of things that mattered and simply enjoying each other's company. The moment was much lighter yesterday than it was when we had that original conversation. But I had the opportunity to tell Bonnie that I often thought of that conversation and the story she told us that day.
Sometimes life just opens itself up to golden opportunities. A chance to thank someone for making a profound difference ... 24 years later.
If I would have made my lunch yesterday, this chance encounter would not have happened. My laziness and Tim Hortons addiction set the stage for a most memorable lunch date!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A Look in the Rear View Mirror
Yesterday, I had an opportunity to (literally) see how far I've come these past two years ...
Two years ago, I wrote this post: Return to the 9 to 5 . I was so close to the end of my schooling that I could almost reach out and touch it. My future ... and what I thought it would be.
Did I have a clue of the reality that I would soon be living? Not an iota. But I had my education, my diploma, a brain full of freshly learned knowledge and I was on my way!
A diploma does not guarantee success. My goals took a detour but I was still fueled by the knowledge that I had taken and succeeded in learning all about the Microsoft Office applications. I had the education. I was armed and ready for my future. Whatever that may be.
Yesterday, I met a lady who was just completing her work practicum for an Admin Assistant course. She was working within Microsoft Word and was stuck when some formatting issues prevented her from completing a simple task. She was so disappointed in herself because "... I should know this! I just completed a course all about this ..."
For the first time in two years, I was the one with some answers. I reassured her that all that she has recently learned has given her the tools to really begin to put this textbook knowledge to practical use. I assured her that she will learn far more as she goes along. We talked about trial and error ... and the beauty of the 'Undo' button and the ability to save a document and try whatever we think may work ... and not losing all of the work we had already done.
We are both 'mature' students of life. Both of us are stepping into a brand new world that we are not entirely familiar with. She talked of the steep learning curve that she felt when she returned to school. I warned her that there is another steep learning curve ahead of her when she starts her next job.
An education doesn't give you all of the answers. It opens doors and gives you new opportunities to learn. The learning does not end once you have that diploma in hand. If you are lucky, the learning never ceases. Your ability to learn as you go, think on your feet and trust that you have the tools to take you where ever you dream is just the beginning.
I hope that this lady has the same zest and enthusiasm that I felt when I wrote that blog post two years ago. I hope that she can weather the winding road ahead. I hope that she doesn't encounter as many twists and turns as I did. But if she does ... I hope that she remembers the small victories that I talked about as I gave her the Reader's Digest version of my life-after-my-education.
I looked at this lady and saw myself. I saw how far I have come over the past two years. I still don't have all of the answers, a secure future or even a full time job. But these past few years have taught me things that you can only learn by living the dream and giving it your best shot.
It was like looking in a rear view mirror. Now that I've had a time to appreciate and reflect on my most recent round of 'education', I am ready to look ahead and keep following this road ...
Two years ago, I wrote this post: Return to the 9 to 5 . I was so close to the end of my schooling that I could almost reach out and touch it. My future ... and what I thought it would be.
Did I have a clue of the reality that I would soon be living? Not an iota. But I had my education, my diploma, a brain full of freshly learned knowledge and I was on my way!
A diploma does not guarantee success. My goals took a detour but I was still fueled by the knowledge that I had taken and succeeded in learning all about the Microsoft Office applications. I had the education. I was armed and ready for my future. Whatever that may be.
Yesterday, I met a lady who was just completing her work practicum for an Admin Assistant course. She was working within Microsoft Word and was stuck when some formatting issues prevented her from completing a simple task. She was so disappointed in herself because "... I should know this! I just completed a course all about this ..."
For the first time in two years, I was the one with some answers. I reassured her that all that she has recently learned has given her the tools to really begin to put this textbook knowledge to practical use. I assured her that she will learn far more as she goes along. We talked about trial and error ... and the beauty of the 'Undo' button and the ability to save a document and try whatever we think may work ... and not losing all of the work we had already done.
We are both 'mature' students of life. Both of us are stepping into a brand new world that we are not entirely familiar with. She talked of the steep learning curve that she felt when she returned to school. I warned her that there is another steep learning curve ahead of her when she starts her next job.
An education doesn't give you all of the answers. It opens doors and gives you new opportunities to learn. The learning does not end once you have that diploma in hand. If you are lucky, the learning never ceases. Your ability to learn as you go, think on your feet and trust that you have the tools to take you where ever you dream is just the beginning.
I hope that this lady has the same zest and enthusiasm that I felt when I wrote that blog post two years ago. I hope that she can weather the winding road ahead. I hope that she doesn't encounter as many twists and turns as I did. But if she does ... I hope that she remembers the small victories that I talked about as I gave her the Reader's Digest version of my life-after-my-education.
I looked at this lady and saw myself. I saw how far I have come over the past two years. I still don't have all of the answers, a secure future or even a full time job. But these past few years have taught me things that you can only learn by living the dream and giving it your best shot.
It was like looking in a rear view mirror. Now that I've had a time to appreciate and reflect on my most recent round of 'education', I am ready to look ahead and keep following this road ...
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