Time to Shift Into Neutral

I am coasting through the morning...

I slept in a little. Not long, but just enough to convince my brain to slow down and keep pace with my body.

I followed the trail of a good deed (via a Facebook status). Once again, Facebook is my inspiration and reminds me of good people doing good things).

I sat back and perused some photos of a friend I once knew. It is so reassuring when you remember the essence of who someone as a teen and see how they have remained true to themselves (at least according to the pictures they post and the words they use to describe them).

I am sitting in the quiet of the morning and reflecting on all-things-good. Light and uplifting. Deeper and soul enriching.

I know I need to inhale. I have not been taking deep enough breaths lately and I am lacking in 'oxygen'.

I am taking the time I need this morning and trusting that all-I-have-done is good enough.

Planning and anticipation is invigorating and uplifting. But it gets old after a while. It is time to just coast and watch the scenery pass me by as I make my way down this slope.

It is time to get back to living in the 'present'. It is truly all we ever have. So why do we spend so much time in anticipation of future events?

I suppose we need something to strive towards and keep us moving in a forward direction. I was stuck in neutral for a long time. It took a lot of work to push myself into first gear. Once I gained momentum, driving forward became easier. I accumulated a few speeding tickets along the way.

The time is right, to shift into neutral and just enjoy the ride before I encounter the next incline. I can feel the wind in my hair right now ....

Packing My Suitcase

I have been methodically dealing with my 'must do' list before our upcoming family reunion. Many things are like 'the book project'. One could keep tweaking and checking and adding and changing for as many days as one is given. But I must tie this up with a bow and let it go. Soon (I just received one more email asking "Is it too late ...").

I brought out my suitcase this morning and placed a few 'must bring' items inside of it. I felt the weight of those items fall off of my shoulders as I dropped them into their allotted spot. A few more worries off of my mind ...

I need to lighten my load so I can go into this event rested and ready to simply relax and go with the flow. No more worries. No more must-do lists.

I know 'good enough' is the motto I must adopt. I know it is time to let go. What I know and what I do are two different things.

Maybe the physical act of packing my bag will convince my brain it is time to stop working and just coast for a day or two.

It is time to relax this brain muscle of mine so that-which-needs-tending has an opportunity to rise to the top.

It is time to sit back and breathe in a day so I can exhale slowly and inhale the memories of this upcoming weekend.

I will pack my suitcase and be ready to go by the day's end. Time to let go and let the experts take over.

Thankfully we are going to a place where I can do exactly that. And I will.

It's a Book!!

Our new arrival arrived at

10:30 a.m.

Monday, October 27th

Weighing in at 2.6 lbs

Height - 11.5 inches 

It is named 

"Life as We Knew It"

the story of 

seven bouncing baby boys

(one of) who grew up to be my father

Author and book are doing fine

P.S. And the unexpected news!?! I have already lost double my baby weight!! The bad news? I could have swore this 'baby' would weigh at least 10 lbs. It felt at least that heavy as I carried it around with me during my six years of 'labor'.

Looking Forward

What words are left in me at the end of the day? Not too many but I'll see what I can do.

I am getting lonely for my own company. I long to sit still in the quiet of the morning with little more to do than tend to a purring cat. That is exactly where I want to land after the busyness of the next week settles.

Reunion-planning has consisted of planning and scheming; organizing and directing; creating and editing; corresponding and communicating. These past weeks have been full and fulfilling.

But there comes a time where you simply have to say 'enough is enough'. We have done all we can do and now it is time to coast.

I plan on coasting right into next weekend with my feet on the ground and ready to simply absorb the wonder of what I anticipate is going to be a most memorable weekend.

I am afraid to set my sights high but I feel that I won't be disappointed. I have few expectations other than the expectations I have placed upon myself. I hope I can keep them in check ...

Thankfully, we will be in a venue where basically all we have to do is 'show up'. They will feed us, house us and provide everything we need during the time we spend together.

I have looked after as many little details as I can think of, ahead of time to ensure I don't get wrapped up in minutia and miss the big picture once the big day(s) arrive.

I can't believe it has all come together.

I set a few goals last spring. I am attaining them. I remember becoming hooked on this goal-setting frame of mind and I do hope I incorporate this renewed way of thinking back into my life.

It is invigorating to set your sights on something that is just out of reach. Something you have to work for. Something that feels like a 'job well done' when you attain it.

The secret is to keep looking up and beyond of where you are at.

I long to settle back into the quiet, comfortable life I know so well. But something tells me I will not be quite as easily satisfied as I once was, when I wasted hours upon hours that seeped into days, weeks and months of doing little more than was absolutely necessary.

I don't want to become complacent again. I hope to keep the magic of looking up, looking ahead and looking beyond the moment.

I may have to start small. I will settle for cleaning, to start. Maybe I'll toss in a little painting and home repair just to set the bar a little bit out of reach.

I'll see...

Suddenly, starting another book project sounds rather enticing.

My Horoscope for the Week of Oct 19 - 25

"After being a bit zealous at the office, a little rest is needed. Try to think more about yourself. A getaway or even a small trip will completely renew your energy."

I may not have an office. But I have been planning a reunion. And 'zealous' feels like a word which may describe my passion for this upcoming event.

We are exactly one week away from Reunion Day. I am excited and anxious and overwhelmed. But mostly excited.

There have been so very many reminders why we have planned this little family reunion. There have been too many funerals and not enough weddings. There have been too many calls of a serious nature over the concern of a family member and not enough celebrations .

Life is short. We need to take the time to gather with those who bring us up, carry us through and bring comfort just by showing up.

We are beyond fortunate that is what our family is and does for each other.

The legacy our grandparents left behind is a family who you simply want to get to know and to spend time with. The more I know of my family, the more I want to get to know them.

Now, if only I didn't have to 'work' for a living, I could sit back and revel in this last week of wrapping my thoughts around all-things-family.

I've been enjoying the anticipation of this little family reunion for quite some time. I can't wait for the rest of the family to come and enjoy this little party in my mind.

After it is over, will a small trip be in order? Probably not.

For me, the best place I can be, is exactly where I am. Just over a week from now, I will be in exactly the same place but I will be wrapped up in warm thoughts and memories of a weekend well spent. I cannot think of any other place I would rather be.

Don't Blink

In light of the tragedies that have touched down and landed in the lives of many, my thoughts continue to stay in the vein of how things can change in the blink of an eye. Which brings me to a post I am reposting today.

"Don't Blink" - a song my son brought to my attention, with these words:

“I write this to the tune of Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t  Blink”. A tune that starts out with an interview with an old man, who’s turned 102 years old, expressing the importance to essentially stop and smell the flowers. He starts off by saying he remembers when he was young and him and his buddy laid and watched the stars and moon, and how good of a time of life that was. And how today, even at 102, life is whizzing by as fast as a bullet.”

“Time? An unstoppable force of life out of my control, and the old man’s words ring far too true, that it used to creep by as slow as a snail. But now, even at the ripe age of 22 years, it’s going by far too fast, and this is what scares me. I have too much I want to accomplish ‘right now’ … I find in the warming afternoon sun at The Farm, I wish I could keep on working at my leisure and just suspend time.”

“It seems unfair that It’s just ingrained that at a time where we feel so invincible; at a time where we really don’t appreciate our lives and surroundings, where life sits in a list (*sic), like a windless evening at the lake. Today more of a feeling of a turbulent hurricane comes to mind when I think about time.”

“The Farm, although my greatest burden in my current life – is my daily vacation.”

On May 15, 2010 I wrote:

I heard this song for the first time yesterday. I love how music can stir my emotions.

For me, it is usually the beat of the music that catches my attention first. The words come some time after that. I don't listen to country music unless someone else brings my attention to a song. But it is the lyrics of country music that bring the music to a new level.

The interview at the beginning of this video heightened my appreciation for the lyrics that were to follow.

The wisdom gained from a man who is 102 years old. And the fact that a talented songwriter put all of that together in a package so that people of every age could hear the words of someone who has a lifetime of experience to share. It touches a chord deep inside of me when the talent of a stranger reaches out and makes an impact in my life.

I loved the old man's words at the end of his interview as he tells new generation about life: "To give love and respect ... not all day, every day ... but at least once a week, to your mother and father. Especially your mother."

Instantly, I could relate.

The letter that I write to my mom every week. "At least once a week" ... I've been writing on a weekly basis for years. It's my time to sit down and connect. To take the time to show my mom she's in my thoughts. Time to give love and respect.

My own family's recent Sunday Supper habit. It's new. But it feels like a time when my adult sons join me in my life. It's small stuff. But it's a time where they show their love and respect.

One on one time with each of My Boys. It's a special time. Each of the individual in their thoughts, their challenges and their joys. I love when I feel like I've spent time enjoying each of my children, without other distractions. It's a time where I can show my love and respect.

My aunt was telling my mom about an anecdote that she read about today's generation and music. Mom and her sister come from a generation of music where the lyrics tell a story. They enjoy testing and refreshing their memories by recalling the verses of music that was a part of their life. The stories within the songs are meaningful and poignant. The author of this article my aunt quipped, "When the kids of today's generation are in their 'golden years', what are they going to recall about the lyrics of the music they play today? 'Oh baby, baby' ... ?"

It was my 22 year old son that brought this song to my attention. Along with some words that he wrote about how this song heightened his awareness of time.

I sent my mom a copy of this song yesterday with a little yellow sticky note that said "Tell (my aunt) that 'this' is what (some of) the younger generation is listening to ...".

Music that withstands the test of time. You know you've heard something special when it touches something deep within. Words that you can appreciate now ... as well as 70 years from now.

In the Blink of an Eye

"In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So forgive often and love with all your heart. You may never know when you may not have that chance again." ~ Author Unknown

This is the message I found on my Facebook page as I perused the events of other people's lives a few mornings ago.

It was posted by my cousin's daughter with a few of her own words which assured the casual Facebook lurker (such as myself) that all was okay now. But she was was reminded of this truth the day prior.

I read that and thought of life in 'moments'.

One moment, your biggest concern is what to have for supper. The next, is unknown.

I walked through the moments that followed that day and my senses were heightened. In the blink of an eye, everything can change.

A slight twinge of discomfort became thoughts of "What if this didn't go away?" "What if something bigger was at play?"

My son heads off to school (by bike) each and every weekday and comes back, as expected each and every day. "What if he didn't?"

I went for a walk with my daycare family and was (once again) reminded of the close proximity of the road to the sidewalk. "What if a driver was distracted and veered towards us?"

I think these thoughts (almost) every time I venture out onto the highways. The roadways are filled with two to three thousand pounds of glass and steel moving at a speed in excess of 110 kph. Those drivers are distracted (myself included). Adjusting heat, music preferences, sipping on coffee, watching the time ... just doing things that we 'all' do when we are on the road for hours at a time. I look at those speeding bullets and marvel at the fact that one individual person's safety relies on millions of variables out of our control.

Each and every time I make the five hour trip to and from my mom's, the moment I drive back into my home city I breathe a sigh of relief. I make that final turn onto my street where I see our garage and I audibly sigh and exhale the words "Home at last. Thank you ..."

I have been on the receiving end of a phone call that has changed my life or altered the life of someone forever. The health of those we know and love is taken for granted. Until it is in jeopardy.

The last time Mom had a health scare, the ground beneath my feet opened up. I fell into a place of fear and uncertainty. I looked life-as-I-knew-it and was reminded that it could all change in a New York minute.

Thankfully, it was just a reminder. Not my reality. Others are not so fortunate. I am reminded of this each and every day.

My cousin's daughter replied to my message of concern last night. I can see clearly why she felt compelled to acknowledge how life can change in the blink of an eye. I can only imagine the fear and uncertainty of their reality. My knees shake when I think of myself in the shoes I remember wearing once upon a time.

"All is okay now." That doesn't seem to be enough. But it is truly all we ever have. Each and every day.

When the moment we are in is okay, it is enough. Okay gives us time to formulate an action plan. Okay gives us time to investigate and scrutinize. Okay gives other moments. Okay gives us hope. Okay gives us the opportunity to look beyond the moment and dare to dream.

One cannot live in fear of the "What if's" in life. It is paralyzing. But each and every time I am given a second chance, I start marveling at those life changing moments in time that sharpen my perspective and remind me of all I am already holding in my hands at that very moment in time.

Who cares what is for supper!? I guess that is why my fallback is fast food and frozen prepared entrees. Because in the whole scheme of things, what is for supper really doesn't matter.