If You Don't Have Anything Good to Say ...

I visited some one that inspires me, last night.

I have always felt a connection to this person. Their life took some detours that weren't the readily accepted by society at that time. My life took a parallel detour so I have compassion for some of what I can relate to in their life.

This person lived through the depression era and knew what it was like to make do with little. They grew up knowing that hard work and sacrifice were a part of life. They had aspirations and went after them.

This person married into 'the right family'. They worked hard and raised their family. From all outward appearances, it would seem that it was a good life.

But there is always more to the story. Theirs is a story that has been played close to their chest. It is not a tell-all-expose. They were divorced in an era where divorce was not an option often chosen.

It is simply something that they have never spoken about. There may be a multitude of reasons for that silence. But to me, there is much more than meets the eye.

There are 2 sides to every story. In a case where someone walks away from what appears to be a perfect life, makes a choice that was unaccepted socially and doesn't justify it with a lot of excuses ... there is a reason that they made that choice.

Our conversation led us to a place where this person had the opportunity to talk or not talk about their first marriage. In their manner, I could see the determination to stay mute on the topic. The few words that were spoken, were positive ones. Anything that was stated, was wrapped up in a two-person description, as any discussion about their ex, was in context with another family member.

As a person who has overcome 2 failed relationships and an inability not to be 'mute' on the subject, I admire this person's stand. I have been a part of relationships that were physically and psychologically unhealthy for me. I personally know that I was just as much at fault for the relationship's demise as my partner despite the fact that my 'allies' could side with me, from the information they knew.

There are two sides to every story. I admire someone who can say nothing when it is one's natural instinct to defend themselves when under fire.

A person doesn't marry someone unless they see some redeeming qualities within them. A person doesn't divorce someone unless there are some qualities within that same person, that makes a life of 'forever' feel impossible.

No one person is ever at fault for a failed marriage. But when it does fail, if a wounded party can walk away from that without harming the character of the person they have left ... they have my admiration. No matter what the story may be ...