Family Speak

The unspoken language of family is precious.

There is the joy of a shared history and a genetic predisposition to understanding each other. The inside jokes and little knowing ways, that make the ordinary extraordinary. To share the same sense of humor, knowing and feeling understood makes an every day conversation go far beyond the surface.

There is the quiet understanding and intuitiveness that goes far beyond words and miles. Mom was marvelling at the way our family 'gets' each other yesterday and said something to the effect that no one else really understands us in that same capacity. The true gift that I have found in my life, is that I am surrounded with friends that do 'get' me. I have friends that I call sister-friends because there is a bond beyond the friendship. But Mom is right about one thing - our family does share a deep understanding and empathy for each other.

When a family member is hurting or struggling, we seem to pick up on what is beyond the surface. You feel their discomfort but have the ability to look at things from an outer perspective. And you just want to do something to alleviate that pain.

When a member of the family is joyous, you feel that too. I am very fortunate to have a family that celebrates each others glories without feeling envious or jealous. I see something unique within each member of my family and strive to attain a little of that within myself. We are all at different stages of our lives and our challenges and triumphs are vastly different. But as Mom has always said, all she truly wants for any of her children ... is for them to be happy. I have inherited that feeling from her.

The down side of being so sensitive and in tune with your family, is that very sensitivity that makes our relationship so special brings its own risks. When a person is so intuitive that they pick up on the unspoken words and feelings, this can also work against them. Because they are so acutely aware of the body language and all of the inner workings and feelings ... they pick up on the negative vibes as well. Words have the ability to cut like a knife, just as easily as they can bring a sense of closeness.

I am fortunate to be sitting in a very good spot in my life right now and looking at my family with a renewed sense of appreciation. They have rallied beside me at the most excrutiating turning points in my life.

My 'white knights' (that I call my sisters), have rescued me on several occasions. If only to lend an ear, they have miraculously appeared at my side even when they didn't truly understand what was going on at the time. They simply 'knew' that I needed a friendly ear. And they were there.

Mom has been my staunchest supporter - always believing that I am better than I truly am. But because she believed it, I aspired to be who she thought that I was.

My brother and I were the fiercest of enemies at one point in our lives. But as we grew into adulthood, we forged a close bond that is unique and special in every way.

I think I feel very much as Mom does, in my wish to sprinkle 'happy dust' all over those that I hold near and dear to me. I want to make the hurt and discomfort of some of the hurdles of life go away. I want to help in some capacity. I'm in a safe and happy spot right now and I have an excess within, that I want to share. I want to give back some of the wonder that my family has given to me.

We may speak a different dialect from time to time, but we still speak the same language - the language of a family that transcends words.