Opening the Door to a New Day

As I ceremoniously opened the blinds, unlocked and opened the door as I awaited the arrivals of the children that define my days this morning ... I realized just how lucky I am. I am simply facing another day of 'normal'.

I seem to be stumbling across blogs that are being written by people going through extreme pain and loss in their lives this past while. As these people write through their pain and I can scroll back and see the lives that they led prior to their present agony, I couldn't help but think how glad any one of these people would be ecstatic to be facing 'just another day' ...

I seem to be fretting about things that truly don't matter these days. Lack of time, excess weight, taking on too much, snow in May ... not one item on my worry list is really worth worrying about.

I am blessed to have 3 children - alive, happy and healthy. All at various ages and stages in their lives ... some needing less of me than others. But I have my children.

I have my health. Sure, I have more pounds sitting on my frame than I did 2 years ago. Maybe that is a reserve for a time when I may need to draw on it. A savings account perhaps? There were times in my life when the stress levels in my life ate up every calorie I consumed. I wouldn't trade that skinny and stressed body for the relaxed and serene one that I've gained, in a moment.

I am employed. No, I don't love what I do every moment of every day. But I work from home, I work for some of the best parents in the (daycare) business, I am in control of my days and for the most part ... when I look back on (most of) my days, I feel like I do a decent job and wouldn't trade it for the world. This 'career path' does more than pay the bills. It is a lifestyle. It has brought out sides of me that I didn't know existed (not all good, not all bad). I get paid to 'be a mom'. Who could ask for more?

I am living my life with passion. I have dreams, goals and aspirations. I see where I want my life to go and I am putting every ounce of spare energy that I have towards living my dream. I'm not focused on the end result, I am zeroing in on the passion that I feel at the moment as I pursue one more impossible dream. When my relationships didn't weather the storms of life, it was when I lost the ability to dream ... that I finally gave up on the relationship. Everyone needs a dream.

I wake up in the morning and know that the day will not be long enough for all that I hope to accomplish in that day. Even though some days, the aspirations are as small as reading a good book and having time to breathe ... I still get out of bed every day knowing that the day is going to be full of whatever I choose to fill it with.

I have people all around me. Even though I isolated myself this past weekend and faced some lack lustre moments as I didn't interact with other adult beings ... it was a choice. I saw it, I wrote about it, I went on living my days ... and miraculously people have been coming to me ever since. Even though I seem to feel that I don't have energy to pick up the phone and dial it, I do have the time to answer it. I always seem to have a friend that picks just the right moment to call.

Last night, Dale told me that he planned to win the $45 million dollar lottery last night. He said that he would give me $2 million ... and what would I do with it?

The first things that came to mind were:
#1 - quit babysitting
#2 - buy a Bed and Breakfast
#3 - buy a bedroom suite

Those were the Top 3 items that came to mind. And even after a little more thought they remained there.

I am fortunate to be in an internal and external 'place' where money isn't the end all solution to all of my problems. As I think about the people that I am reading about in Blog Land that are facing excruciating loss in their lives ... they have lost what no amount of money in the world could buy. The life of someone they loved with their entire heart.

As I face this day of normal ... I feel blessed.