Finding Normal ... Again

In our quest to help Mom find answers to the symptoms that she has been living with lately, we noticed that whenever the doctors would ask her how she was feeling, she'd cheerfully say, "Good!" or "Fine!". She would dress up, put on make up and look like a spritely senior who was just dropping by for a visit. She asked us what we would prefer, as she slumped over, scowled and pretended to act sick.

Mom seems to be resigned to the fact that the doctors don't have answers. They ruled out 'the big stuff' and she learned to live with her 'new normal'. Mom really doesn't enjoy dwelling on health issues, so she has rebuffed many of our concerns over the course of the past 10+ months. "Who wants to hear about that?" is her answer at times. "I'm fine" is her answer at other times. We have learned to quieten our concerns and respect her wishes.

As her health became an issue once again, we have been trying to be more assertive and hoping that one doctor would look at Mom in her entirety and help us put the pieces of the puzzle together. When you go to the ER, they treat the one symptom and send you on your way. When you go to the medicentre, the doctors are overwhelmed with all of their obligations and they don't appear to have the time to know their patients. When you go to the specialist, they look at what they specialize in. Where was the doctor who would take the time to sit down with us? We needed someone who explained as well as listened. We needed to find someone who cared!

Yesterday ... we found that person. A doctor took the time. He looked at Mom's file in its entirety. He explained the possibilities of why Mom is feeling the way she does. He examined the preliminary findings which were in Mom's file - an ECG from her first visit to the ER on May 31st of last year. An irregular heartbeat was noted in Mom's file over 10 months ago. And she was never told of this. We are well on a path to further investigate her heart, because that appears to be the underlying cause of her symptoms. Symptoms which started over 10 months ago. Symptoms which have been swept under the carpet as Mom quietly redefined 'normal' and learned to live with it.

"Why are we relieved that it is her heart?" my sister asked. I believe that we are relieved because we finally feel that we are the right path. Heart disease is frightening, but we have personally witnessed success stories once the problem was diagnosed. Issues which could have been life threatening had they not been detected.

Finding the root of the problem - the reason behind this symptom is like a ray of light to us. Once you know the problem, you can work on solutions. Treating (or not) a symptom was not the answer we were looking for. Accepting that there were no answers was not acceptable any more.

The doctor that finally took the time to talk and listen to Mom did very little other than assure us that we were already doing exactly what we needed to do. The appropriate tests have been done or have been ordered. The medication Mom is on is exactly what he would have recommended.

We were already on the right path. We just didn't know it. And now we have the assurance from a trusted professional that we are well on our way to finding solutions.

Hopefully a firm diagnosis will redefine 'normal' for Mom. A state of living which allows for the quality of life that she has been fighting for all along.