Going back through my journals from a lifetime ago, there were few times that I wrote when I was entirely down and out.
I wrote my way through a lot of transitions. There were a few entries that I wrote when I was in a desperate place. But it never failed. I talked my way through it as I wrote. By the end of the entry, I had written out what was wrong; how I felt; diffused the emotions; and started looking to how I would get through the moment.
My writing was sporadic in those days. I would come across my journal every now and again, and would write an update (I must have cleaned more regularly in those days because it seemed I stumbled across that scribbler at least once a year). But there were also a few incidents where I simply needed to write my way through.
In trying to find a way to sell myself as a writer in my cover letter, I drew examples from my personal life to illustrate the fact that I have a deep well to draw from. I tend to have a very 'pollyanna' way of looking at life which is not always realistic (and down right annoying at times, I'm sure). There is still a naivety in my ways and I am almost grateful for it. Life's blows haven't taken away my ability to believe in the best of people.
I believe that it is important to have the fight to rally back, no matter what life throws at you. I don't do well when I'm kicked when I am down. But it is still my instinct to fight.
My Great Career Change of 2011 has proven to be one of my biggest challenges in recent history. At my lowest, I knew that I had to stay where I was at (if they would keep me) because I could not have sold myself to another employer if my life depended on it (I exaggerate of course, but it felt that bad). The idea of brushing up my resumé just one more time brought me to my knees.
But this past weekend ... I did it! I overcame the fear of trying again and I did it with a gusto. It was harder than it should have been. But considering the place that I was at only three months ago, never did I believe that I would have the ability to revamp, reword and resell myself to not only another employer ... but a completely and totally different line of work. And, so soon.
No matter where things go from here, I made it over a hurdle this weekend. I struggled. Next time will be easier. But I overcame my fear of ever trying again. I did it! Because ... "I'm a Survivor"!♫ ♫
My roots are planted in the past
And though my life is changing fast
Who I am is who I want to be
Reba McEntire - "I'm a Survivor"
No comments:
Post a Comment