How Does Your Future Look?

 "Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. This is like driving a car by looking in the rear view mirror."

~ Herb Brody

Yesterday I was asked the question, "How is your future looking?" Instead of simply sending a reply email, I decided I would ponder that very question in today's post.

It seems that every time I think that I know where my future is headed ... I am proven wrong.

Life has blindsided me at times. I have taken detours. I have hit dead ends and had to turn around and find a new route.

No matter how much we think that the future is within our grasp. It isn't.

How is my present looking? One day at a time ... my life looks and feels very good. When I start projecting too far into the future, I become fearful.

I am quite enjoying my half-day work schedule so far this month. I have been puttering away my mornings and utilizing the extra time to write more thoroughly about the predominant thoughts of my mornings. I have been picking up a book. I have been contacting friends. This morning, I am going to meet a friend for breakfast.

Three and a half hours of work speeds by. Work is fun it feels like you just 'pop in for the afternoon' to help out! I feel like a paid volunteer.

I have been getting positive feedback at work. I solved a small puzzle yesterday afternoon. I am available to work every single day (even throughout the Christmas holidays). I am eager to work. I will apply for a temporary or permanent position each and every time one is posted. I am doing everything that I can possibly do to turn the uncertainty of my days into a full-time wage.

I am being very careful with my spending. I have a little bit of a cushion to fall back on if necessary. I made certain that I had a back-up plan when I changed jobs last July and (fortunately) I didn't need to utilize much of that little nest egg. This buys me time. Not much ... but it is my ace up the sleeve this month. I have no idea how many more times I may need a back-up plan. So I must respect my limitations. And I am.

I don't spend much time focusing on 'that which I don't have' ... but lately I have been spending just a little more time pondering the 'lack of a partner' in my life. I am not lonely. I don't need any man to 'complete me'. But the more time I spend on my own, the more familiar it becomes. I have a hard time visualizing where I would fit a man into my present-day life. I would enjoy a dance partner. Every now and again I think that it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand and walk into the future together. But right now? This moment? All I can think is, "It would be nice if there was a second income at times ..." This is not a good foundation for a relationship. So I am content to walk this path alone. For the moment, this is where I need to be.

The present is all that I know for sure. I can say with all certainty that as I wake up each morning, I am happy. I look forward to the day ahead of me. My life is surrounded in all that is important to me. A warm, safe and peaceful home. The security of family and friends that are within my reach. A purpose to wake up and greet each day. And hope. So much hope for the days/weeks/months that lie ahead.

Every now and again, I will be driving along the routes that I know well. I see the oncoming traffic and realize that all it would take is one millisecond ... one moment of inattentiveness on my part or the part of another driver. And life as I know it could change forever ...

I don't live my life in fear. I try to live it one day at a time. I acknowledge my past. I do my best to be grateful for each day that my life is what I expect it to be. And I have dreams of the future.

I am powerless over tomorrow. I see good things ahead. The past has taught me to expect the unexpected. Sometimes that is a good thing. Sometimes it isn't.

"How does my future look?" My future looks bright. I don't know the route I will end up taking. But I know without a doubt that no matter what happens today, I will keep hoping for the best. I will focus on the direction that I want to go. One day, I will get there. And then? I will just keep on going ...

 "Tomorrow will give us something to think about."

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero