Keeping Engaged

I went to visit a friend and her dad last night.

Her dad has been in the hospital for 44 days. A person isn't hospitalized for that long without good reason. So it goes without saying that he's not feeling up to par.

He was sleeping when I first arrived. As the night nurse came on duty, she commented on his wakefulness the night prior. So the nurse and my friend started engaging her dad in conversation to keep him wakeful until visiting hours were over.

I was nothing short of amazed at the way he rallied and worked his way out of the fog of (what must be) exhaustion, pain, medication and a confusing state of drifting in and out of life-like dreams and wakefulness.

Several years ago, I helped my friend compile her dad's family memories into a book. I have listened to hours of her dad's memories. In person, on tape, via his brothers and my friend herself. I know the family history and I feel a connection that goes far beyond the surface.

It warmed my heart to hear him talk once again, about growing up on the farm and farming throughout his life. In a small way, it was like going back in time. Back to the months when we were compiling those memories.

His thoughts and passion about farming was as passionate yesterday, as it was four years ago. It was harder work for him to put a voice to his thoughts, but when he did ... it was the same voice. Underneath the illness, the pain and effects of being hospitalized for so long ... the essence of the man he always was (and still is), is still fighting.

As if that wasn't enough, he then started joking around with the nurse who had come in for her evening shift. The quick wit that has always been his trademark is alive and well. We laughed and enjoyed the lightness of the moments. The twinkle in his eyes was evident under all that his body is contending with.

These ... are the moments that my friend is fighting for. She spends hours at the hospital with him ... because it makes a difference. She waits out the challenging times and perseveres. She knows that he needs to keep engaged ... to keep fighting.

I returned home to my quiet and predictable life and reflected on the evening. The need to keep 'engaged':

en·gaged (synonyms)
absorb, engross, engage, occupy interest
hire, engage, employ

Isn't that something that everyone needs to fight to keep in their life? As I wander through my days, they may be quiet and unassuming ... but my interest, energy and thoughts are occupied. We all need to be needed ... and I believe that we are at our best when we some form of 'engagement' in our lives (people, work, appointments, social engagements) - structure.

We are very fortunate when we have the means and power to keep ourselves engaged in life. We can only hope that we have someone fighting for us (like my friend is fighting for her dad), to keep us engaged ... when we are feeling powerless to do so on our own.

To live a life with no regrets ... is to be able to look back and be grateful for all that you have done.

**Thank you, My Friend. You never fail to inspire me!**