My Brother Said I Could ... So I am Trying

This idea has been stirring within me since October, 1994. It was fuelled once again throughout 1999 - 2000. I have been dabbling with various possibilities no matter what official job title I hold. People have encouraged me to take a step in this direction throughout the years since then. I took some forward steps in 2008 and continued down that same familiar path ever since. But now? I'm making a serious attempt to take myself where I have never gone before.

In a moment of clarity one weekend in October of 1994, I put together a very half hazard attempt at selling myself as a columnist for a Sunday paper that is distributed at no charge within our city and outlying areas. I wrote a passionate cover letter and enclosed several samples of 'articles' that weekend. I mailed them off and never heard another word about it.

Tabled but not forgotten, I have never let go of the dream to turn my writing into something more than it is.

I took a writing course throughout 1999 - 2000 and once again the feelings of 'I think I could do this!' wafted through my consciousness. Receiving feedback on my writing was good. It made me realize how far I had to go before I could consider pursuing my dream.

In 2004, I dabbled with writing that I shared with the world when I wrote a quarterly newsletter for my daycare families. Fueled by positive feedback from the parents of 'my kids', I compiled a Yearbook as part of a Christmas gift tradition for the last three years of my daycare career.

2008 was the year where I put myself out in a public forum. I started this blog. I wrote a family memory/history book about my mom's family. Learning as I went, I kept moving forward. I started a private blog for my daycare families and gave them a daily update of our 'Days at Daycare'. At the same time, I started my 'Infants to Independence' blog. A Friendship blog. A Family blog. I was becoming a blogaholic and loving every moment of it.

I approached the dance studio where I take my lessons with my ideas of starting up a dance blog and submitted a sample 'article' and a montage of video and photos from a recent showcase to illustrate my idea. It was an idea that took time to marinate, but eventually I was approached about going forward with some of my writing ideas.

I am slowly accumulating a small following on this blog. I receive feedback from various sources. I am encouraged from all angles. The small idea that had been planted in my mind was becoming tangible.

One (more) comment was all that I needed to push myself from the sidelines into the arena. Thanks, Bro!

On January 11th, these were my brother's words:

"I'm truly serious. I've said it before. You have all the skills and abilities to be a daily columnist. Just imagine...getting paid for your words. Start with your local paper, then go nationally, then globally. When the editor asks what makes you think you can do the job, just tell them 'My brother said I could.' "

I called our local paper to ask about the opportunity to write a column or blog. On January 17th, I sent an email to a small group of people that I thought followed my blog. On January 18th, I wrote a post about it.

Then ... I froze.

Fear paralyzed me. The words 'What have I done??" rambled repeatedly through my mind. Emails kept appearing in my Inbox encouraging me to go forth with my idea.

Fear of success came next. What if ... I succeeded? Was I up to the challenge? What would this bring to my life? When would I write my dad's family history book? What if I ran out of ideas? What if I froze under pressure?

Underneath all of this fear was a solid foundation that I am fully willing and capable of doing this. Of going public. Public!

Next came the overwhelming task of writing a resume and cover letter like I have never done before. All of my education and work experience from previous resumes needed to be reworked and looked at from a brand new angle. How in the world could I find the words that I needed to declare my passion for writing? If someone scanned over my resume in disinterest, how could I present myself in a way that they would 'see'me?

I went back into the archives of my hand written journals and rediscovered my roots. I found my passion written on the pages before me. This is not a spur of the moment decision. This is a goal that I have been aspiring towards for almost 20 years.

The idea that took root in 1994 has been establishing itself. Watered with encouragement from those around me. Gently fertilized with education in various forms. Reaching towards the sky since I started blogging in a public forum in 2008. I am ready to sell myself. And if at first I don't succeed, I will try, try again (and again!) ... "Because my brother said I could!"