6:39 and All is Well

As I sit down to write this, it is 6:39 a.m.

The Automatic Dispatch System has not called me into work. Yet. 6:30 a.m. is the earliest that I can be called. I passed that moment in time. So far, I am not working today.

At 7:00, the people-part of the substitute dispatching system start coming in. The phone could still ring. And it has. Then it could ring again, to cancel that dispatch. It has done that too. Or they could call and change my location - before I arrive at the school I am told to go to ... or after. Been there. Done all of that.

I am mapping out the possibilities of this day.

I am one cup of coffee and a quick bath away from being ready to run out the door and go to work. But then again, if the phone doesn't ring I will probably stay in my comfy pajamas for the better part of the morning and have a third cup of coffee.

If the phone rings and dictates my day, I will go where I am told to go ... and do what has to be done. I am guaranteed to be finished my day (if I work) by 4:00. That is all that I know for sure.

If the phone doesn't ring ... I am going to pull out a cover letter that I worked on when I took a writing course. I am going to revise my resume. I am going to do this. I am going to venture forward into a world that I have envisioned for well over a decade. I am going to pursue the idea of writing a column or blog for our local paper.

What is my biggest fear? Success. What if writing became something more than it is for me right now?

Deadlines. Writing within defined parameters. Stepping beyond the comfort zone that I have created within this blog. Daring to write where I have never written before.

It is frightening. Because ... I think I can do this. I really do. And it scares the socks off of me.

This day is a work in progress. I have no idea what will unfold within the next half hour that will determine where I will be and what I will do within the hours of 8:00 and 4:00 today.

One thing that I know for sure. If I don't spend today at home, I will be here tomorrow. My alternate plan for today is going to happen. It is just a matter of ... when.

** Update ... it is now 8:39 a.m. and the phone never did ring. I could be home today after all. **