No matter where you are at in your life, there is only one direction to go. Forward. The sun keeps rising and setting upon our days and we must find our way through.
Some times it is easier than others. To have a life that you love living makes each day an adventure. To me, waking up excited about the day that I am about to live is about as good as it gets.
Other times, it is just another day to put behind you. Going through the motions, putting in a day and marking time doesn't breed the same satisfaction. A lot of days are just like that. Sometimes those are exactly the kind of days that we need. A neutral day as we segue from one challenge onto the next.
Then there are the days when you would rather stay in bed with the covers over your head. A day that is marked by an ache in your heart &/or soul that simply can't be filled with food, sleeping, spending, drinking or your own personal vice. It feels like today could be one of those days ...
I have an ache in my soul for no apparent reason. I am empty and I don't know which way to turn to fill that void. I don't even recognize the reason why I feel this way. Perhaps it is best wrapped up by saying that my emotions are simply magnified. Fear of failure/rejection/criticism trumped by the fear of giving up. I am travelling into new territory so I suppose these are healthy and natural thoughts.
I am craving many things but I don't know which way I will turn. I just knew that the moment that my feet hit the floor this morning, that I was grateful that I hadn't stocked up on junk food. I cannot binge on fats, salt and sugar (at least this morning!). In fact, I just wandered by the grocery list and added some fruits and vegetables that I have been craving to that list. The tides are shifting ...
I do believe that I am going through some growing pains, that is all. I look ahead and the ground is unstable. And I am a little bit scared.
But there is only one way to go. Forward. So .... on I grow!
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