Plowing Through

I feel a sense of unease within me that I cannot shake off. I have been carrying this around with me since the weekend and it isn't dissipating.

A great deal of angst surrounds my newest venture-out-of-my-comfort-zone. Writing for an audience outside of this blog is only slightly terrifying to me at this very moment. I have yet to experience this sensation without an important life lesson around the corner. It could be good. It could be bad. At the moment, I am hovering somewhere in the vicinity of 'oh-my-gosh-what-have-I-done-this-time?!?!?'.

What is even more nerve wracking is the fact that my mom asked me to write something for a family member. I think I wrote too much into something that should have been kept very simple. I want to take it back and redo it. Where is my real life undo button?

I need to have a difficult conversation. This is a relationship where I have stopped investing my energy and I am a little bit bitter and confused that it has come to this. Again. I hope the right words come to me when I need them.

I am booked to work for the next three and a half days. I know where I am going! I am going to be working at a school that I thoroughly enjoyed. Yet I have a case of nerves that is annoying me. Maybe it is because it means that I have to deal with the onslaught of snow that is falling in our fair city, along with the masses of others making their way to destinations unknown.

It is March and I simply want to stay in hibernation.

I want to work from the safety and security of my own home. I don't want to deal with life outside of these doors.

I want to surround myself with people who are uplifting. I don't want to be dragged into the arena with someone who brings me down.

I want this uneasy feeling to go away so that I don't bring it into my writing. My fingers will not ignore what my subconscious mind is feeling.

As always, I know that I must plow through all of this. Because the answer that I didn't realize that I needed is always at the end of this journey.

The answers are right around the corner. I know it. I must plow through this blizzard and come out the other side unscathed. That is all there is to it.