What Other People Think

Quote from "Stand by Me":

Gordie: Do you think I'm weird?
Chris: Definitely.
Gordie: No man, seriously. Am I weird?
Chris: Yeah, but so what? Everybody's weird.

We get so wrapped up in our own heads at times, we forget. Everybody we encounter has their own stuff going on within their minds. No one cares what others think of you as much as you do. Thus, it is important to think well of yourself.

That is all very noble and true. But in the case of being in a probationary or temporary status at a job, what others think matters. A lot.

The weight of caring what others are thinking of me is wearing me down. I feel like I'm walking on ice. I used to be better at it. That was at a time when a probationary period had a defined start and end date. That was at a time when I had stability in my work world and regular feedback. That was also at a time when I worked within the confines of a position that I had been for my entire work life.

Trying something new is a daring new adventure for me.

I am still new and inexperienced in many ways, in my job of (almost) nine months. I have stuck my neck out and I am trying to add 'column writer' to my list of life experiences. I am starting (yet another) new part time job. What others think really matters a lot right now. Too much.

I must be the best that I can be in every area of my life. No matter what. I wish a stable pay cheque wasn't my motivating factor.