Energizing

After waking up to a weariness which made me feel powerless, I have taken steps to empower myself.

#1 - I made a date with myself last night. I bought tickets to a movie I wanted to see before I stepped out the door yesterday morning. Had I not done so, I wouldn't have followed through. I'm so glad I did.

Staying out two hours beyond my normal home time depletes me. Staying out in order to do something that in no way resembled an errand and felt fun and frivolous was a completely different sensation.

I chose the movie, didn't concern myself with anyone else's enjoyment except for my own, I indulged in a snack and I laughed out loud. Sitting in a theatre on my own, I laughed out loud. 

Laughter defines success. My first "Artist's Date" (as per Julia Cameron's suggestion) was a win.

#2 - I wrote my morning pages this morning. It was hard. My coffee was ready and I so dearly wanted to watch for our neighborhood rabbits. But I woke up with words that needed to be silenced. So I grabbed my pen, wrote whatever my heart dictated, tried to imagine what I would wish for should a fairy godmother grant me one wish ... and I didn't know. 

I wrote in and around and through my thoughts. "What do you want? What is the answer?" rolled around and around and around the page. I don't know. But it felt good to purge my thoughts. Putting pen to paper is usually the beginning to finding an answer. I began.

#3 - I colored my hair. Vanity swoops in for the win. My roots were getting to me. Coloring my hair was ONE thing I could control. So I did it. No regrets.

#4 - After I was well on my way to completing all of my hard things this morning, I gazed out the window and spotted two frisky rabbits taking their last run in the safety of the day that was dawning. I believe they were frantically looking for a good hiding spot for the day. These energized rabbits brought joy to the moment and felt like my reward for doing what had to be done.

My weariness is originating from feeling powerless. It felt good to take control of doing what I needed to do to bring myself back up to a place where I have something to offer.

Filling myself up + doing what is within my control + spotting rabbits = a boost of energy to get me through the day. Now the secret is to do this all over again tomorrow.

What fills you up and energizes you? Look for it and it may come ... create your own Field of Dreams.