Just Another Ordinary Day

I woke up before the alarm this morning. I was in a semi-conscious state as I mapped out the day ahead of me. It is going to be a good day. I could feel it coming.

I made my bed and opened the door. Junior Cat laid in wait outside of my bedroom door. Senior Cat was at the other end of the hallway, poised in a position where he could keep his eye on the household, Junior Cat and my waking moments. Ahhh ... to be greeted first thing in the morning by two cats who know you, your routine and appreciate whatever bit of love you have to spare. I live a good life where life greets me in the morning and doesn't expect a lot from me.

I went through the paces of readying myself for the day.

I found an email in my inbox from a friend. I responded. I read the blogs that replenish me. I filled my coffee cup for the second time. Then I opened the blinds and welcomed the day. I am ready for this day and whatever it has to offer. I don't feel like this every morning. It tends to make me appreciate the days when I do (which have been plentiful lately).

I am awaiting a day that I assume will unfold pretty much according to plan.

Life can change in an instant but I live such an ordinary and predictable life, that I am not filled with anxiety nor do I live in fear of the unexpected. There have been times when I woke up with the feeling of a fist in my chest. Anxiety levels were high. I know the difference between then and now. I choose now. I wake up feeling an enormous amount of peace in my heart and soul.

Today holds promise of a visit with an out of town guest..

My uncle has decided to take me up on my offer to borrow my spare car (who would have ever guessed that I would have a spare car at my disposal?? Certainly not me!) during his visit back 'home'. His flight comes in around noon and I will have the pleasure of seeing him at the beginning and at the end of his holiday. It makes me think that I am being totally self serving in offering him a car. He is my dad's brother and has encouraged me every step of the way as I collected memories from their family to put together in the form of a book. I very much look forward to seeing him.

Today is going to be just another regular, ordinary day. With a twist.

Today I can anticipate the specialness of the day that has yet to unfold. Any other day holds endless possibilities which may or may not present themselves. The thing is, that if you look for it you can often find a small bit of wonder within any ordinary day.

Yesterday, my day began with my two year old daycare charge walking in the door saying my name. Over and over repeatedly. I was touched. I was even more amused when I realized that she was not saying my name. It turns out in her newly developing vocabulary "Colleen" and "coloring" sound pretty much the same. She wasn't saying my name after all! An unexpected smile ...

Yesterday, I chatted with a friend that I haven't spoken with for more months than I can remember. She is a breath of fresh air and sunshine every single time we speak. It doesn't matter how serious the topics are that we speak of, she speaks with love and passion and empathy which oozes out of her very being. She has had many challenges thrown her way and she comes out fighting and smiling and spreading goodness to those that she touches. We spoke of serious things yesterday, yet I was left feeling uplifted and inspired. What a gift ...

This morning started with an email that I received from another friend. A friend that most likely didn't have the time, energy or inclination to write. But she did. I've been worried about her and she took the time out of her very hectic life to send off a few words. I am gifted by friends that think more of others than they do themselves (perhaps more than they should?). Her words put my mind at rest but instilled a calmness and determination to keep in touch. Life gets too busy and keeping in touch becomes harder than it should be. And it shouldn't. This morning's gift was the realization that a few words can make a difference. It instilled my belief that if you are thinking of someone, you should follow through and let them know.

The days are filled with small blessings. We may need a magnifying glass some of those days but if you look hard enough you can often find a pebble of goodness within an avalanche of challenges.

May you find a nugget of pleasure to carry you through the day. Or better yet, offer a little of yourself to create that very same pleasure in the life of another. It is a double sided coin. It feels just as good (or better) to give than receive ...

Just a Regular, Ordinary Weekend

It was a regular, ordinary weekend. Perhaps a little too much on the regular side but I appreciated it none-the-less.

Ordinary feels good after life has been shaken up a bit. Regular is a little on the predictable side but I enjoy knowing what to expect.

I ran errands. I relaxed. I worked. Pretty bland in the whole scheme of things. But I enjoyed every moment.

I should have accomplished more. But I accomplished enough. I will settle for 'enough' this week.

I spoke only to a handful of people. Perhaps less than a handful if I count only the people who live outside of our home. But I didn't have much to offer. I was not full of words or passion or anything worth sharing with the outside world. Three people were ... enough.

We revelled in our World of Cats within our home. I love the way our cats bring My Youngest and I together. We often sit on the floor with them and just watch their antics. I swear that our Junior Cat's mission in life is to make us laugh. I am equally certain that our Senior Cat enjoys playing on our guilt. Our Senior Cat snuggled up on me while I was lazing the hours away on the couch. And it felt good. It felt oh-so-good.

I seem to have less and less words sitting on the tip of my fingertips. I used to have a handful of people that I would email on a Saturday morning. This weekend? I responded to one email. I initiated another. But I didn't have an excess of words or thoughts. I hate when that happens. It seems to occur when I do not spend enough time sitting quietly with my own thoughts. In other words? I turned on the TV.

The TV invaded my weekend. It felt good at the time. Very good. I got caught up on a lot of sleep. And a lot of cat-love. But when I wake up on a Monday morning and realize just how little I nurtured my inner self when I plunked myself down in front of that television set, I'm a little disappointed in myself.

Sometimes we need a little down-time. My holiday was wonderful in every way. It felt good ... really good to get back to my job and life-as-I-know it. But sometimes ... just sometimes a person needs a little bit of dead space to replenish their resources.

TV does that to me. It deadens my spirit, my passion, my creativity and my soul. If I do only one thing this week, I should turn off the television. I think that I could be amazed at what I could accomplish if I did this one small thing.

You Know You Are in the Right Place When...

You know you are in the right place at the right time in your life ... if you are just as happy working as not working.

Maybe I'm still on a post-holiday high. Maybe it's because I have the ability to compare and contrast prior summer/fall combos to this one. But then again? Maybe it is because  I am exactly where I am meant to be right now.

Four summers ago was filled with hopes and dreams. I was winding down my daycare so that I could pursue an education and change my career path. The year of education was one of my best. I fulfilled all of my schooling obligations, I took care of a few kids before and after school. I did some bookkeeping out of my home. And I followed wherever my dreams took me ...

It was a year that I took advantage of my new found freedom from parenthood. My youngest had reached the age where he was starting to becoming less dependent on me and my Second Son stepped up to the plate and watched over him many times while I vacationed a little bit here, there and everywhere.

Three summers ago was probably one of my best summers. I had finished off my schooling a month ahead of schedule and the future looked bright. I was doing bookwork out of my home and could fit the work into my life whenever and however suited me best. I thought it was the beginning of the life I was after. It took a while for me to fall off of my cloud and I enjoyed the view while I was there. But in the end ... it didn't work out as well as I had hoped.

This translated into the summer that followed. The summer of polishing up my resume and believing that I was capable of many new things. I tried several new things. Believing and succeeding don't always correlate. It was the beginning of a tough year.

Last summer at this time, I was just beginning my latest Life Renovation. I had researched my options and one year ago today ... I handed in my letter of resignation to my part-time summer job (that had become my tipping point). I started advertising the reopening of my daycare and two days later, I typed up and handed in a second letter of resignation to my (what I had hoped would be) my 'full-time' employment. I was off and raring to go.

This year has been ... calm. Oh. So. Calm. There has not been anything that has felt too big to overcome. It is a tiny bit scary to be in the precarious position of starting my daycare from scratch again. But lessons learned in the past are serving me very well. Looking backwards, I could not have hoped for a better year.

I have been back from my holidays one week. The phone is starting to ring once again with people looking for new daycare provisions. I have one spot that I would like to fill ... but if it doesn't happen, I am okay with that. Really okay.

What I love about these phone calls, is that each and every time I talk to a prospective new parent I hear myself talk about what I do, how I do it, why I do it ... and I like what I hear. I am not perfect. But I am doing what I am doing for all of the right reasons.

I missed my daycare family while I was gone. I was genuinely happy to see everyone walk through the door upon my return. I was calm. I was patient. Life felt completely right. And I was not on vacation. I was simply living my life.

You know you have a good life when each and every time you walk into your home, you are happy to be back. It doesn't matter how long I am gone. An hour. A day. A weekend. Or longer. Each and every time I drive up the driveway ... I am always glad to be home.

You know you are in the right job when coming back from a vacation doesn't feel like work. I am perhaps one of the lucky ones who simply has to wake up in the morning, open the blinds and unlock the door and my work comes to me. But this week? Work was life. I woke up. I lived my life. And I took care of a few children while I savored the bliss of simply being home, eating regular meals, resuming a schedule and taking in the great outdoors.

You know you are exactly where you are meant to be when all of the stars feel like they are aligned and living your life doesn't feel like a chore.

You know that you have travelled a good path when the lessons present challenges to overcome. Because if it wasn't for those challenges, you wouldn't appreciate where you are at. It is the contrasts in life that make the mundane full of wonder.

I would not appreciate where I am at, if I hadn't chose the various detours that it took to get here.

The sad part? To maintain this great amount of appreciation and peace, I will probably need more challenges tossed my way.

I know that this too shall pass away. But while I'm living the good life of feeling the awe of this simple wonder, I am going to appreciate every breathe I take while I am at this resting spot.

Simple Solutions

Sometimes the answers to what we seek are simply ... simple. We simply complicate matters by searching too hard.

Let me tell you (once again) about our cat...

Our Junior Cat joined our family two and a half months ago. He has had chronic diarrhea for pretty much the entirety of that period.

His previous owner alerted us to the problem and included a weeks supply of a heavy duty antibiotic home with him as part of the purchase price.

That didn't work. I called back and was advised to mix Metamucil  in with soft cat food and that should do the trick. I did that religiously. Still no improvement.

Eventually I took him to our vet and she agreed with everything his previous owner had suggested and offered to run a wide array of tests for a 'small' cost. After the results of those tests were in, then we would start to treat the problem. We chose to go for a heavy duty worm treatment instead.

Weeks went by and nothing changed.

Eventually I consulted Dr. Google and was dismayed to find the number of cats with this same problem. I found a forum where many cat owners were discussing the topic. They had tried a wide variety of things and in most cases their cats did not readily improve.

The one common denominator that I found within that discussion was the suggestion that diet was the root cause and to try this, that and the other brand of cat food. Since I had just bought an economy sized bag of (expensive) cat food that had come at the recommendation of Junior Cat's previous owner I thought that I would return to my small, local pet supply dealer and ask if they had any suggestions.

I talked to the Pet Expert in the store and told her our saga. Right down to the fact that our cat is high strung and so jumpy that we call him 'Scaredy Cat'.

She listened intently to everything that I told her. When I was done she offered her advise. She said that absolutely every thing that we have done to 'cure' our cat irritates the intestinal lining and promotes diarrhea. In search for a cure, we harmed him just as much as we helped him.

We were armed with the knowledge that he had been medically treated for anything that could have been physically causing his distress. The Metamucil? That was simply bad advise. It would only make matters worse. Not to mention that we were mixing it in with soft cat food which (in our cat's case) should be avoided.

Her advise? Feed him only the hard cat food that he had been accustomed to eating before he moved in with us. Make sure he has lots to drink. And wait. The poor guy's stomach had been in such an upheaval for the two months that he had lived with us that he probably just needed for things to settle down.

That was over two weeks ago.

It didn't happen over night. He still isn't 100% 'cured'. But he is at least 75% better than he was. And what did we do that was right? Nothing.

Imagine that. 'Nothing' was better than 'too much'. Letting our poor guy's body heal thyself was exactly what he needed the most.

How often do we do that to ourselves? Over think a situation and create something more than it really is?

How often have my best answers come to me by simply sitting back and finding my own answers within the quietness?

What if the solution becomes part of the problem? Maybe we need to slip into a state of neutral to figure out exactly what is going on. I am speaking of matters of the heart in an emotional sense here. Not matters of the heart in a physical sense ... which is entirely a different matter.

Sometimes ... just sometimes ... perhaps the answer lies in keeping it simple.

Connections

The power went out for two hours the other night. Two hours at the end of the day when all that I had hoped to accomplish was done. The two hour power outage felt like 'life' was forcing my hand. Making me sit still and enjoy the moment. It was good. Two hours was long enough.

Yesterday, our telephone, cable and Internet connections were down all day.

Thankfully we went for an early morning walk. I always forward my calls from our home phone number to my cell phone when we leave the house. It is just something that I have gotten into the habit of doing during my daycare hours.

By the time we returned home, all of our connections to the outside world had been severed. Except one. The ability to receive calls people made to my home phone number (and the ability to call out on my cell phone).

If the day is going sour, I often turn on the TV to act as a diversion. Yesterday? Nothing. So I turned on a movie. The kids don't like the "Cars" movie ...

Before nap time, we have a little couch-time ritual. We all sit and watch the "Berenstain Bears" together. We are quiet and still. It is a wonderful time of day. Yesterday? Nothing. We read four "Berenstain Bears" books instead. I had a captive audience of two (out of three). It was a good start to a new ritual.

During nap time, I always turn on the TV. The "Gilmore Girls" and I have a standing date from 2:00 to 3:00. After 3:00, the kids start waking up. It is a routine I know and love. Yesterday? Nothing. I washed a head of lettuce and grated cheese for our supper instead. Not quite as relaxing but it is amazing just how much I appreciated having that little job done and out of the way at the day's end.

I received three calls about my daycare openings. One sounded very promising. It could have been a perfect fit. But I guess I'll never know because they didn't show up to meet me last night. A second family is planning to call me back today (after waiting to see the outcome of last night's scheduled interview with the family that didn't show). I was outwardly relieved that I had accidentally forwarded all calls to my cell phone. That was a large sum of potential income that I stood to lose if I wasn't available to take calls.

It was not until after 5:00, that our connections to the outside world were restored.

The first thing that I did was check for emails. You would think that my life depended on knowing that I was open to receiving any and all emails as soon as they came in. One email awaited me. It was not important.

The second thing that I did, was turn on an episode of the "Berenstain Bears" upon the request of my last daycare charge as he waited for his mom to arrive. He had little to no interest in watching it. He wanted an excuse to bounce off of the couch and watching TV gave him that momentum.

I sat down at the computer and re-established my Internet connections. I had a few things to 'google'. Other than that? I really hadn't missed much by not feeling that tug to access the outside world during the day.

Hmmm...

• An aborted attempt to disconnect from the outside world during my week-long sabbatical from 'life'
• Three days of 'disconnection' during our holiday ... followed by two days of intense 'reconnection'
• Two hours of powerlessness upon our return home
• An entire business day without telephone, Internet or TV

Is the world trying to send me a message? Disconnect, Girl!! These TV, Internet and constant on-call connections are ruling your life!

Each and every time these connections were severed, I found more important things to do. I reconnected to the world around me in ways that didn't cost a penny but were rich in what they offered.

The wireless connections that we have within our world are ones that aren't fueled by a power source. And I'm not talking about WiFi or cell phones...

Writing

"The positive thing about writing is that you connect with yourself in the deepest way, 

and that's heaven. 

You get a chance to know who you are, 

to know what you think. 

You begin to have a relationship with your mind."
~ Natalie Goldberg

This ... is why I write.

The Vacation Haze is Lifting

The grass doesn't stop growing just because you don't look at it. The weeds don't stop reproducing simply because you pick them. Once. Neither the grass nor the weeds stop inching up along the fence, garage and sandbox due to your lack of time to trim them. Believe me. I know these things. Because all of the above was boldly glaring in my face the minute I looked up out of my Vacation Haze yesterday.

I vaguely remember the words 'trim grass' on a list that I made for myself in the days before we left on our vacation. I vividly remember deciding that a spur of the moment trip to have coffee with My Sister took priority. And the motion sickness that followed that little trip put me (a little bit) out of commission the next morning. Moving slowly and steadily towards my (eventual) goal of getting ourselves to our holiday destination that day was much more important than a shaggy looking yard.

I hired someone to spray the yard for weeds. Unfortunately that didn't happen soon enough. The weeds look like they have been taking steroids. They are muscling their way through the grass and taking over the lawn. I see no sign of weakening. Perhaps it rained too soon after the lawn was treated. Maybe the weeds were to tall for the weed killer to reach the roots. I believe that those weeds are singing in harmony to the tune of "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger"!

My Son did mow the lawn before we left on vacation (the day before we left). Add on the day after we got home and that equals seven days. How dare the lawn grow so much in one week! I was on vacation. Why couldn't the grass take a week off too?

My dreams of coming home and cleaning up my Book Project one-chapter-at-a-time at a rate of one-chapter-per-day is laughable. Life takes over. The lawn isn't the only thing that gets away on you when you aren't looking.

I am quickly realizing exactly why this Book Project has been put on a back shelf for so long. Life is time consuming. Little things fit into the cracks of the day and fill it up.

I wouldn't have it any other way ...

P.S. Now, if only my new hair cut would grow as fast as the lawn. Man! It's short. Really short. Maybe if I stand out in the sunshine and the rain and withstand all of the elements that nature throws my way, I'll need another haircut and trim in a week. And grey-spray too. The grey hairs are taking over my hair like the weeds are taking over the lawn.