Our Great Holiday Adventure 2009

I have been puttering away with the 179 photos and 71 video clips that we seem to have amassed during our week long vacation. I've done a lot of culling, but this is still a 4 1/2 minute view of our 7 day adventure.

Every morning when I woke up in our hotel room, I made a pot of coffee and grabbed my pen and paper. The words that came out of my fingertips were unending. I wrote 36 pages of words - our itinerary, thoughts and meanderings of my mind. So I have lots of archives to dive through if ever I run out of ideas in the near future. I'll try and do a little culling there and extract the meatier thoughts.

But for now, here is a (not so brief) look at some of our holiday:

A New Road

I've had a hard time maintaining a positive outlook within my daycare career for the last very long while.

A year and a half ago, I started up a daycare blog for my families that revived my interest and got me focused on the positive. It was a good route to go and I highly recommend focusing on the positive in any situation. I got excited about my job again and I was thrilled to find a way to communicate with my parents that made all of us feel more involved and in the know.

Then I had my hernia surgery last fall. The doctor enforced 6 week slow-down (I didn't take care of anyone under the age of 4 years old) was heavenly. I knew after that, that I wanted to cut back on my daycare load and take on more book keeping. But ... the calls kept coming in for new children and destiny didn't place any more book keeping opportunities at my feet. So I was content to follow the path of least resistance.

Winter was very long and spring was longer. I was ready to look at any new options and I was considering a lot of different scenarios for a very long time. The one that kept 'speaking' to me was the plan to go back to school and persue my interest in taking up book keeping.

I researched the decision by calling several schools and getting information sent to me. I called a friend who is in the accounting business and got her advise. I discovered that I should go to school full time for 4 years (or part time for 8 or more years) to work towards the degree I should get to do what I want to do. It sounded like an illusive dream. So I tabled the idea.

Then ... a friend rekindled my interest by suggesting that I at least inquire about student loans. Then ... one of the schools that I had been in contact with, called me and they provided the flexibility that I needed to make this work. Then ... I realized that with this flexibility, I could still take care of school aged kids and keep working at my book keeping job. So the financial aspect was looking a little less frightening.

I had to explore all options, so I approached my employer (where I'm on a one year leave of absence) and asked about work from home opportunities. As I awaited the response, I researched the school further and gave myself a deadline to make my decision.

If I could work from home with my existing employer, I would table the idea of furthering my education. If not, I would look long and hard at the reality of pursuing an education and getting experience in the field I want to work in.

When my employer responded to my work-from-home query with nothing to offer and encouraged me to pursue my book keeping option, that is what I did. I took several days to think on it. Today, I made further inquiries and made 'my final decision'.

I am enrolled to start my classes September 1st. This is all pending and my ultimate decision must be made after I find out what amount of student loan I qualify for. But to me, the decision is made right now. I can't give my parents a 'maybe' one month notice. I have to let them know that 'yes' I will be able to continue with my daycare indefinitely ... or not. Wishy washy dates don't work, when you are dealing with families that have to find alternate care for their children. I may have to make a last ditch contingency plan in case my funding isn't adequate ... but I'm pretty firm in my decision to go through with my education plan.

As I was wavering in my last hours of the day before I knew (in my mind) that I would be making the ultimate decision, I kept considering the alternative. If I don't go through with this decision, am I prepared to continue with the daycare indefinitely? No. Am I prepared to go back to my old job and work full time and relinquish my stay-at-home-mom-role? No.

I am dedicated to the idea of working from home. And this is the new road that I must explore to make an opportunity to leave the daycare business in favor of the number business.

It's risky taking new roads. I like my old, familiar paths and routines. But the adventure of the brand new journey usually makes it worth the trip.

My Kind of Wedding!

I read about this video on YouTube and I just love it. This is the way to start off a marriage, if you ask me ...

I Love Ruts

I do believe that I border on an obsessive-compulsive personality type. I love order in my life. I'm obsessed with many things.

I love predictability in my days. I wake up and do the same thing every morning. I run my day with kids and there is a lot of routine in the day. I am obsessed with keeping the to-do-lists taken care of. I take the same routes to and from the various destinations I have as I leave the house. Same ... same ... same ... is the norm for me.

Even our holidays are more of the same. We usually do a variation of the same thing year after year. To me, a holiday is doing anything that I normally can't do during my day-to-day work world. It takes very little to excite me when holiday time rolls around. The ability to get out of the house on a whim is a holiday for me. Following my whims, where ever they may take me. But even my whims are very predictable. Same ... same ... same.

Well, this year we embarked on a brand new holiday route. We went to new cities, took new roads, stayed in different hotels and saw new sights. It was frightening for me to leave Normal behind.

I love Normal. I'm sure I'll have many tales to tell about our adventures away from 'Life as I Know It' these next few days ....

Optimism

"... Your optimism may be unwarranted but so is the other guy's pessimism. Anyway, the odds get better because you believe you can win."
- my horoscope (in part) for the week

These words are taken slightly out of context (they are referring to playing a game where the odds are not in my favor), but I like the flavor of what this says about optimism verses pessimism.

I truly believe in 'increasing the odds' because I believe!

Necessity Verses Choice

I recently had to restrain my appetite and had to undergo a 2 day clear fluid diet. Though I longingly looked at the solid food that surrounded me, savored the aroma of a fast food place I walked past and bought (but didn't eat) some snack food for the days that followed my 2 day famine ... the temptations didn't get the best of me.

A doctor ordered food restriction is much easier to follow than a healthy food choice option that I choose to follow (or not).

Was it because it is only 2 days? Was it because they will send me home and be unable to complete this test if I don't follow the instructions to the letter? Or was it because there is truly no choice in the matter? I must.

2 days definitely made the short term aspect of this temporary diet attainable. But really ... in the Alcoholics Anonymous program, isn't that the credo? One day at a time (or hour or minute, depending on the day). Why can't I simply decide to make healthy food choices one day at a time. All of the time.

The thought of failure and the inconvenience to have this test rescheduled if I didn't maintain the diet they told me to follow took away the 'choice' to follow their diet restrictions. Over a thousand people on the waiting list for this procedure and the $50.00 fee if you don't cancel a week in advance, indicated the valuable waiting space that I was taking up. It was all somewhat prohibitive when it came to the idea of them not being able to complete the test. All good motivators.

There truly wasn't any option. I had to follow the diet I was told to follow. Most life choices are simply that - a choice.

As I went through the days and coped with the temptation and slight feeling of hunger along the way I chastised myself for not having more willpower when it comes to healthy eating habits on a day to day basis.

In the book 'The End of Overeating', one of their suggestions is to make rules for yourself. Rules - not options.

If I simply made one rule of not eating after supper, I would be on the right track. One rule. No options.

I wonder if a doctor ordered sanction against food after supper would stop me. If my life depended on it? You bet, it would be easy. If it is my rule? Why should that stop me? I can make promises to others and keep them. Why can't I make that promise to myself?

On Being Grounded

I was 'uprooted' from the place I called home when I was nine years old.

Nine years doesn't really seem like a lot of time in the whole scheme of things. People move around a lot - to pick up and move a young, adaptable family doesn't really seem an unreasonable thing to do. And it isn't. Except ...

Throughout my adult years, I have often wondered where I belong.

I made many connections and friendships to the place we moved when I was 9. I went to school, made friends, got married, worked, got divorced and I wondered if that was truly where I belonged.

When I married, I thought I would 'belong' in that family. It sounds rather morbid, but there is something rather peaceful about knowing where you would be buried. As a wife, I thought I would be buried beside my husband. I knew where I would belong.

But the marriage didn't last. This new city felt like a lonely place to be buried for 'eternity'. I took stock of my life and I wondered "Where do I belong? ... Where is my true home? .... Where are my roots?"

Life's journey has taken me back closer to my roots. In the first few decades since that move closer to 'home', I still wondered where I belonged. I have made many friends and connections within the boundaries of this city ... but I don't truly belong here.

Last fall, I took a stroll through our the old home place on our farm. There was a complete sense of peace within me, as we walked the paths of my early childhood. I only lived there for the first 9 years of my life, but that is where I was rooted.

The past few years, I have ventured further into my family's history. I have talked to all of Mom's siblings and put together their story. As I talked to each of my aunts, I felt a piece of me in each of them. I was discovering pieces of the patchwork quilt which created the person, which is 'me'. I was discovering that my roots weren't so much where I was planted, but the family from which I was a part of.

Recently, I have started researching my Dad's side of the family story. Most of Dad's family have remained 'rooted' in the town where I went to school. Our home town.

As I talked to my uncle and he spoke fondly and familiarly about 'The Hills' in which their family was raised, I was truly feeling the connection to the family as well as the geography of his memories. As he referred to the hills by name, I knew that he was talking about home.

As the conversations with my aunts, uncles and my own family resonate within me I am feeling a solid connection to my past. My past is now connected to my present day life and I'm looking towards the future with a knowing that I've come home again.

We may be transplanted in life, but there is a true sense of belonging when you settle in and are comfortable in the life where your roots run deep.

Home is where the heart is ... but our roots keep us grounded.