Good Decisions

There are some decisions in life that are easier to make than others. No matter what the choices may be, I find that the worst place to be ... is in limbo. That state of wondering, pondering, second guessing and simply not knowing. Once you make a decision, the rest seems easy.

Once the choice is made, a person can still sit back and second guess. But when a decision is right, you know.

Since I made the final decision to return to school, many things have happened ...

One of the most interesting things I've noticed is my appetite. I am turning to food because I am hungry, not out of frustration, boredom or any kind of reward system. There have been snack foods sitting untouched since our return from holidays. I have grabbed something to nibble on, but I haven't had any trouble putting it away when my appetite is satisfied. Interesting.

There is a calmness within. My days with the kids have really not changed at all. I have the same personalities that I had before my holidays. There has been an addition of more kids which has helped and hindered the dynamics at play. But the difference is ... me. I'm not flying off the handle. I seem to see things in perspective. I have been handling the same crisis's in a different manner. I have noticed that the good behaviours outweigh the negatives by far. I even smile throughout the day.

With every step I take, that further commits me to this decision ... signing the loan documents, signing the school registration forms ... I silently cheer. I know, with every forward step that I take ... that this is the best decision for me.

As I count down the final weeks to my full time daycare career, I am oddly reflective. I am looking at my daycare days in a positive way. I can't help but look at my daycare family and be sad that we are 'breaking up'. At the onset of this decision, I would have never guessed that I would feel this way. Instead of counting down the days and simply enduring them (as I normally do this time of year, before school starts up again), I'm actually enjoying them. I'm not running away from my old life (as I would have been, if I had done this a year earlier) ... I am following a well thought out plan.

I look forward to the year ahead and instead of being overwhelmed with my new workload, I am energized. I visualize the end result and know that it won't always be easy to get there. But I will.

When I made my decision to find a way to work from home after My Youngest was born, I vowed that I didn't care how hard or how long that I had to work ... if I could find a way to work out of my home, I would do whatever it took. I'm back at that spot again.

It's not the easy road. But it's the right one. I can feel it with every part of my being. And that is how a good decision should feel!