Killing Time

Last night, My Youngest and I did something that we rarely (if ever) do. We leisurely wandered through some stores in our nearby mall ... and looked. At one point, a store clerk asked if we needed any help. When I told him that we were just looking, he replied, "Ah, killing time are you?" My heart lurched. I thought 'I don't have time to kill! What are we doing?' Then I took a breath and relaxed with the idea. I used to have 'time to kill'. I used to use those shopping trips with one of my young sons in tow, as a diversion or escape from a home I didn't want to rush home to. I used to spend money frivolously as I 'filled the void' within, on those trips. We used to go to the mall to cool off on hot, hot summer days (before we had air conditioning in our home). Going to the mall used to be our entertainment. As we walked through various stores, it was like walking down memory lane. The pet store reminded me of the 'rodent phase' that Number 1 & 2 sons each went through. Hamsters and gophers. Yes, they each captured a gopher at different stages of their youth and brought it home as a pet ... one of them even managed to live inside (word of caution - gophers can and do escape from hamster cages). Second son took the quest for pets to a higher level. He tried out fish, iguanas, a frog, several attempts at the 'rodent family' ... he is also responsible for the last 2 cats we acquired and is presently going through a dog phase. Trips to the pet store were a part of growing up for my older sons. I was filled with angst as we used to walk through those aisles, knowing that the inevitable "Can we get a _____?" was soon to follow. Last night? My Youngest enjoyed the pet store and had memories of when we used to look at the fish. He had a curiosity about the pets ... but didn't ask for a thing. I relaxed and enjoyed the scenery and appreciated the contrast between my older and younger sons. We then walked through (what used to be) a Radio Shack type of store. This was the store that enamoured Number 1 son. He had a fascination with remote control trucks. He coveted those trucks, wished for, saved and wanted them more than anything. I remember standing and staring at those trucks with him and feeling the ache within him as he left the store empty handed. Number 2 son also went through that phase, but not with the same passion. My Youngest glanced at them ... stopped for a minute ... and kept on looking at other things. We glanced at a 'fortune telling machine'. For twenty five cents, this little coin swallowing machine would answer 'yes' or 'no' to any question you posed. We passed on by. Then we saw a photo booth ... My Youngest said "I can't remember the last time we had a picture taken" ... we kept on walking and eventually I remembered when it was. This past summer, when we were on vacation in Calgary. We zipped into a store that had some jewelery that I would have considered buying (glitter and big, showy jewelery is a 'must' for the showcase). My Youngest patiently waited for me as a little girl manhandled all of the jewelery, with little or no supervision ... I was quietly grateful that my kids never acted like this. And we (again) left the store empty handed. Eventually, we entered the store that is a part of our regularly scheduled life. Walmart. Walmart is the store where we go when we need almost anything. Walmart is where I run to, when I'm running errands. Walmart is what I will think of, when I think of My Youngest's growing up years. I buy what has to be bought ... he looks in the toy and electronic aisles ... and then (more often than not), we buy junk food and a movie. We came home and each did our thing for a while. At the end of the evening, we sat down and watched 'Because of Winn Dixie' together. It's a movie about a dog. My Youngest and I are not dog lovers, but I love a good love story between a child and their dog. This movie seemed to fit the moment. My Youngest begrudgingly sat down with me, reminding me "I'm not a dog person" ... but we each enjoyed the story of this special dog that smiled and was the best friend of a lonely little girl. A love story. Yes ... we killed some time last night. But even so, it was time well spent. Who knew what memories would come rushing to the surface when I took a few hours to slow down and amble through the aisles of our local mall? And in the process, we made a few new ones.