Back to the Present

The past. It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

I must put my old journals back into storage (but there are some old assignments from a writing class that I took over a decade ago that may resurface before the day is done) and get back into the present day.

What I found most interesting was the letter to my children that I wrote over 12 years ago. The words that I wrote to My Oldest were exactly what he needed to hear. During this past year, My Oldest and I have had many deep conversations. We revisited the past and he talked about what he needed from me as a child. I had forgotten about this letter. But when I pulled it out and read it this weekend, I 'already knew' what he needed. It's a pity that I never did share that letter with him ...

My Second Son was 11 years old at the time. I saw things in him and our relationship when he was 11, that are true to this day. We talk. We always have. He's learned a few lessons about loving the world and receiving that 'love' in kind (life lessons are not always fair), but in the end I believe that he still sees the best in a person and a situation until he's proven wrong. His love of life still prevails.

My Youngest is still in the early stages of life. His first 12 years have been easy. He emulates the way that he sees his older brothers treat me/talk with me and it has enhanced our relationship. He's a good, young citizen - I like what I see in him and I honestly can't see him straying far from the path that he is on right now. Who knows what life has in store for us ... but we have a good foundation. I think we can withstand whatever comes our way.

I'm not a fortune teller, but I was grateful to stumble across my inner thoughts from a time long ago. When it comes to my children, I think from the heart. I have learned to speak those words instead of tucking them away in a drawer, only to discover 'I knew it all along', but didn't act on it.

Looking forward, I shall take that knowledge and utilize it. I tend to verbalize a lot more of those thoughts than I did in the days of my private journalling.

Back to the present day now. I have a full day of work ahead of me. It is time to take my head out of the past and move on ...