Meh

Meh - "This is a universal, non-committal answer to every question ever posed. It's the answer that doesn't actually give any answer."

I had to look up the definition of "meh". I have read the word and not fully understood it ... yet when I sat down here to write, the word "meh" came to mind.

This brought me to wonder just why this has come to mind this morning. A morning after an unsettling dream where I was treated with an attitude of "meh" at one of my favorite-places-to-be in the world. This attitude of indifference from people that I have grown to like and respect was hurtful. Even when I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

"Where did this come from??" was the question that plagued my early morning thoughts. Then a recent conversation that I had, replayed in my mind.

It was a conversation where I felt put on the spot. Am I agreeing to things out of a sense of indifference? Or are some of my decisions made from the realization that in the whole scheme of things, it really doesn't matter to me ... so go ahead. "Use me."
 
I don't feel like people are taking advantage of me. Isn't that key? If it does not drain my energy to say ''yes'' to something, doesn't that make it okay to say yes? Do I really say "yes"? Or am I saying "meh"?
 
When I think of my inner thoughts to some of that-which-I've-agreed-to, the words "whatever" ... "it really doesn't matter" ... "why not?" ... "I can do this" ... come to mind.
 
Do I hear a resounding "YES!!" in many of these non-issues? Maybe not. But I don't feel an inner resentment either.
 
It's small stuff. It is little things that I have to offer that can make it easier for someone else. So why not agree to something that can help another?
 
Maybe I am exuding a little bit of "meh" in my attitude. But it is my coping tool.
 
I will fight for what I believe in. I will spend my energy on that which is positive.
 
I do my best not to worry about that which is beyond my control. Yes, some issues are in the back of my mind but I refuse to allow them to overtake my thoughts. It is a waste of energy.
 
But if I can offer a small piece of assistance by saying "meh" and meaning it? If it really doesn't matter and it can make life a little easier for someone ... why not??