Foot in Mouth Disease

I don't suffer from the disease of regretting what I've said as often as I used to. But it still happens from time to time.

As a child, I can remember replaying (the few) words that I actually said out loud, over and over and over and over and over again. I believe this was one of the reasons that I said very little when I was young. If you don't say anything, you have nothing to regret.

I remember a time when my (ex) husband explained exactly how something that I said made him feel. He was not a talker, he 'spoke' in other ways. The time he told me in words, how my words had wounded him I was completely humiliated.

Parallel incidents happened within the other-important-relationship-in-my-life. Only this person held it all in and I only heard of it in a 'chapter' format, after an extended period of injury. Once again, I was reminded of the power that words hold.

Then I started reading blogs where I learned of the many ways words have the potential to unknowingly cut to the quick of a person. When you don't know someones background story, there are a myriad of ways you can say something innocently that reopens a wound.

Over the course of time, I've practiced the art of thinking before I speak. I am far from perfect. I'm gaining ground, but I have far to go.

This past weekend, I was having lunch with a friend when I accidentally reopened a fresh wound. Four days later, I am still having flashbacks of this conversation. What I said. How I said it. What I should have said after the damage was done.

I have a case of speakers remorse. All of the could have, should have, would haves are still coursing through my brain.

My lesson? Listen more. Speak less. Weigh your words before you speak. No one has ever been hurt by me listening to what they have to say.

I can't take back my words. How does one apologize when it means reopening the wound again? I should have apologized right then and there.

The echoes of words that have been spoken ... once released, they can't be taken back. Sometimes it's better to say less and mean more.