The past few days, I have been working on one of the hardest exams that I have ever encountered. It is an open book exam. One would think that it would be easy. I'm not finding that is the case (at least for me).
This course is very reminiscent of a mutual fund correspondence class that I took 18 years ago. Everything was 'Greek' to me the first time through. It was 95% new material to me. I felt overwhelmed with new terminology, phrases and adages. To get through the book was a major accomplishment. It was only when I sat down to study for the exam that all the parts and pieces started to come together. After I started working with mutual funds on a regular basis, I realized how elementary that initial course actually was.
I was (still am) hoping that would be the case with this course. The unfortunate part is, that I got to the end of the book without absorbing the basics in the first chapters. And I am lost.
This course was designed in a fashion where it gave you what you needed to progress, in an orderly fashion. The chapters were far more interesting as I went along, but what I am discovering is that because I never did fully understand and acquire a working knowledge of the basic information at the beginning of the book ... I am feeling overwhelmed.
I am grateful (in an ungrateful sort of way) that the open book exam is forcing me back to those chapters that I didn't understand. I must learn and understand the basics before I can move on.
Life is like that.
We are provided with lessons each and every day of our lives. There are times where it feels like we are faced with the same problem, with new faces and circumstances over and over again.
I have relived my past more times than I care to admit. Because I didn't learn the 'basics' I needed from those chapters in my life the first time, I had to go back time and time again until I learned what I needed to know. But that wasn't enough. Once you learn what you need to know, you are armed with the knowledge to take on the next chapter of your life. It doesn't end.
I talked with a friend yesterday. Her 16 year old son has 'become his father'. His father moved out when he was no more than two years old. Yet his actions, reactions, personality and even his words echo the father that he never knew.
My friend is face to face with a lesson that she was handed 16 years ago. It is no easy feat and the lesson is still in progress, but she's not running. She has been given an opportunity to take what she learned so that she can walk through this with her son.
She's confronting this challenge and defying it to change the world that she has created ... the person that she has become. She is being tested.
The basics. We are given information and circumstances to test what we have learned every day of our life.
I have completed 76% of the exam that sits before me. Today is the day that I plan to learn what I need to know before I can carry on. Because I will be tested.
This course is a requirement before I take the next course in a series. There will be a closed book exam on all of this information. After that? I will be free to take this knowledge and put it to use in 'real life'.
Real life ... where the lessons never end. Where we build on what we have learned ... so that we can continue to grow.
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