Numbers, Numbers, Numbers!

Yesterday morning, I started the day by analyzing my spending habits and my personal financial 'stats'.

From there, I went to working my My Second Son's company books. I spent the entirety of the day trying to put all of the facts and figures together in a fashion that will make income tax time easier.

My bookkeeping duties revolve mainly around numbers. I love, love, love when I have a project that I can balance so that I know what I've done is correct. Mindlessly entering numbers and information into a program without the ability to balance and ensure that what I've entered is correct bothers me.

I worked in the banking industry for the first thirty years of my working life. As a teller, it was always my goal to balance to the penny. Working in other areas of the banking world were also logical and challenging. Creating financial scenarios and financial planning is something I've been doing my entire life.

I enjoy numbers. They make sense. Errors can be located, corrected and you end up with a 'perfect' document if all of your information is correct. Having the correct information to start with, is vital.

Thus my frustration in my work lately. I am given work in bits and bites. Databases aren't functioning so I can't keep up to date. I have questions that are not being answered. It is impossible to balance one thing, if information is missing, incomplete or all that precedes it is out of whack.

It's math! It is right or it is wrong. It is an exact science. If ... you have all of the information you need to work with.

There is (and always has been) a piece of me that craves perfection. I have learned to accept the fact that I am not, never was and cannot become perfect. I'm learning to accept myself as I am. Warts and all.

Then there are numbers. It is a part of my world where 100% accuracy and perfection is attainable. I believe that must be why working with numbers has always been a part of the career choices that I have made. Choices that are not about fulfilling a passion ... but to attain the perfectness that I strive to attain.

My work has always been about fulfilling the part of me which craves perfection. That satisfies only a small piece of who I am.

It is much more fun to follow your passion! Thus, my Zumba-Lust ... my  love of ballroom dancing ... writing projects ... and desires that push me out of my comfort zone and into a place where perfection is impossible.

Again ... it's all about balance. It is very good and comforting to have a part of your world where you feel in control. When everything else in your life is running amok, it is important to have a place to go to to regain your equilibrium. Maybe this is why the workaholic works obsessively ... work is the place where they are all powerful.

But that is not what life is all about. It's about pursuing your passions as well. I believe it is that pursuit that keeps us vital and excited about life. It is the reason that I write ... dance ... and 'Zumba'!!