I Need This to End Now

It's like a bad dream, when you wake up in the middle of the night. Every time you close your eyes, you go straight back into the dream. Until you physically get up, turn on a light (or the computer) and purge the dream from your mind with reality. It doesn't go away.

It's the Open Book Exam of My Nightmares.

Yesterday's goal was to complete the exam and mail it off. At every turn, I found something I was uncertain of. My answers look terribly, terribly wrong. The 'small' job of tweaking the (54) Exercise Examples with the correct terminology became "Oh no!!!! I think I have all of this wrong!"

I went to bed with books in hand. I know for a fact that I should be able to find the correct answers to a few of the questions that have me baffled.

In my quest to find one correct answer, I found the answer to a different question (that I thought I had right).

As I perused the pages of the course workbook, I found four pages of exercise and stretch examples for 34 different muscle groups. Please don't tell me it was that easy! I not only spent two days searching my books and the Internet for exercise examples ... but if what I found last night is correct, I believe I have quite possibly done the largest section of the exam all wrong.

I left my books open to the pages that I must study in the light of a new day. I couldn't bear the thought of climbing out of bed after I was already snug as a bug (and exhausted) last night. I thought to myself "This will all make perfect sense in the morning." And I slept.

I slept - yes. I also dreamt. I had dreams (yes, more than one!!) that I did the Nightmare Section of my exam correctly. I didn't have to erase four pages of exercises. They were okay.

My dreams quickly faded into the blackness of the night when I awoke this morning. I found my books on the floor, opened to where I left them last night and my reality awaits.

I misread the instructions. I thought it said the exam would be marked within three days and returned. The reality is that it will be marked within three weeks and then the results will be sent to me.

I thought that I had oodles of time to send in my exam, have it marked and still have ample time to redo the sections of the exam that I didn't pass (80% for each exam section is the required passing mark). I was wrong.

This is a required course before I take the next one that I have already bought and paid for. I have 25 days to do all that must be done so I can progress forward, as per my plan-of-attack. I will be lucky if I simply get my marks back in time.

I have not even succeeded in reading the instructions correctly!! How can I expect to get 80% in each exam section?!

Breathe.

Plan of attack for today:

• Ignore the phone and incoming emails (I barely completed writing that sentence and the phone rang)
• No time for work today. Only this exam.
• Phone my tutor (why didn't I do this sooner???? .... because I thought I had lots of time!!) 
• Clarify that I have done the Exercise Example section correctly
• Find out if there is any possible way to fast-track the process of marking my exam and results

 Breathe.

Keep taking one forward step at a time. One day can make a huge difference. Just do it! And remember how good it will feel once the challenge has been met and put behind me.

Small, forward steps will take me to where I need to be. Onward!!

And breathe ...