Depleted

My completed exam is in the mail. Done. Complete. Over. For now.

If I manage to pass all six sections of the exam with a mark of 80% or higher ... that portion of my studies will be behind me. But there is more ...

Sometimes you hear what you want to hear and read what you want to read.

I thought I read that the exam would be marked within three days and results would be forwarded quickly there after. I was wrong. It will be marked within three weeks. Thus, I have not allowed myself much (any) leeway. Oops.

I thought that the closed book portion of this exam could be written after I complete the rest of the requirements. Wrong again. It must be written and a passing mark of (you guessed it) 80% is mandatory before I can move forward (and take the course that I have already bought and paid for).

I have given myself two weeks to study. I have ten days leeway to rewrite it if I do not succeed the first try. My self imposed deadline is March 11th. That is the date that I have signed up to take another course which is the fourth step of this process.

The good news is that this is propelling me quickly towards my end goal. The bad news is that I don't get to celebrate with glee as I tentatively move forward.

I must immediately start studying for an intensive, closed book exam. I await my marks for the open book portion of the exam. There will be another wait after I complete the second exam. Which will be 'rewarded' with yet another class. Which will be followed by a practical evaluation.

I thrive on deadlines and pressure. I don't accomplish as much when there isn't a deadline. As stressful as it can be, this is very good for me.

I can see where I want to be six months from now. I am moving toward my goal. I will be elated when I pass each requirement and know that I am prepared for the next step.

The only thing that I have done wrong is not allowed myself enough time. Time to take a breath when one phase is completed to the best of my ability. Time to celebrate my successes. Success is mandatory if I want to get to where I hope to be by March 11th.

My brain is worn out. I put in my two-hour-Zumba-night last night. My body is exhausted. I haven't been eating healthy foods (are chips, chocolate and coffee three of the four food groups??). I haven't budgeted time to breathe and celebrate as I fast track myself in this newest quest to change the course of my life. I am depleted.

So tonight I shall take time. Time to be with friends. Time to eat a home cooked meal. Time to stay home. Time to celebrate. Time to breathe.

Tomorrow is a new day. I will take time today so that by the time tomorrow arrives I will be ready to take on my world.