Sum-Sum-Summer Time!

When I was hired to work within the school system, visions of summer holidays danced through my mind. I didn't know how I would be able to afford two months off in the summer, but where there is a will there is a way. And I knew I would find a way.

As I step into the last half of the first week of summer holidays I do not see the summer that I was anticipating.

Work. I must be ready, willing and able to work. And I am. I am scheduled to work quite steadily throughout the month of July. While this is a good thing and I appreciate how fortunate that I am, it is disheartening because the majority of the hours are 4 hour shifts at minimum wage. I could earn the same dollar amount by working two, 7 hour shifts at my first job as I do by working five, 4 hour shifts at my second place of employment. Sigh.

What this boils down to is an erosion of the time available to work on that-which-I-planned-to-accomplish this summer.

I don't do well when I have small pockets of time to accomplish 'big' things. I know that I must relearn the art of squeezing in what I can, with what I've got. I know that once I sink my teeth into something that matters to me, I gain a momentum where I can make things happen.

I thought I would have the gift of time this summer. Time to put the challenges of the year behind me, take a breath and breathe new life into an old project. Time to dust off an old idea and pursue it. Or even making the time to clean this 'old' house!!

What were my goals before my plans were derailed?

• Take time to be quiet with my thoughts. Down time. Alone time. Time to reflect.
• Write. Write. And write some more. My dad's family history book. Some thoughtful and reflective words for the columns that I write. Write cards, notes and emails to friends and family whenever the urge strikes.
• Dejunk, declutter and rid this house of that-which-we-no-longer-need. The excess is weighing me down. I can feel it at every turn.
• A Retreat. One for myself. One with My Youngest. One with friends.
• Follow through on my plan to meet up with a cousin. I initiated this idea around the same time that a lot of my other Great Ideas got derailed. Following through with the intent that I originally had is symbolic. I have let too many passions and ideas fall through my fingers this past year. A part of me which had sprung to life and was thriving ... is dying a slow death.

I know what I want to do. I see what I need to do. I can visualize the reality of one goal bleeding into the next.

There is no limit as to where this summer could lead. No matter what I perceive my limitations to be. I just need to take one step in a forward direction.